If you could change your name, what would it be and why?
I'd change my last name to Washington and go become a chiropractor.
Why? So I could then have ads like:
"The only Washington, D.C. you can trust",
"Washington, D.C., where the only crook is in your neck, and it won't be when you leave",
"Washington, D.C., the only D.C. that gives you more for your money",
"Washington, D.C., where the only crack the mayor has is chiropractic",
"Washington, D.C., where the only masonry is the brickwork on the building",
"Washington, D.C., bring your gun!",
"Washington, D.C., no longer serving politicians",
"Washington, D.C., where there's a doctor, not a dictator"
"Washington, D.C., the only D.C. without a Marxist in charge"