Author Topic: Funny  (Read 1416 times)

Offline angelcookie

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Funny
« on: March 30, 2014, 10:42:02 PM »
I was watching newlywed game and one of the questions to the wives were what they depended in their husband for the most... The tree answers were cleaning, cleaning and laundry. Anyone find that funny besides me?
Cleaning and laundry- hahahahahahaha
 

Offline clau clau

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Re: Funny
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2019, 12:19:06 PM »
I was looking up the pronunciation of Drogheda, Ireland

https://www.google.com/search?q=drogheda+pronunciation&oq=DROGHEDA+pronun&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.4047j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Which led to this link.
https://www.dailyedge.ie/how-to-pronounce-irish-words-2102874-May2015/

Which led to this poem.

There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
Who pronounced an interesting theoghaire
that the language of Erse
Has a shortage of verse
as the spelling makes poets so weoghaire

Would you like to shake hands with Pope 1 or Pope 2 -
 me (inspired by Dr Seuss) see: https://seuss.fandom.com/wiki/Thing_One_and_Thing_Two

But when he's dumb and no more here,
Nineteen hundred years or near,
Clau-Clau-Claudius shall speak clear.
 
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Online Maximilian

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Re: Funny
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2019, 12:55:51 PM »

https://www.dailyedge.ie/how-to-pronounce-irish-words-2102874-May2015/

There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
Who pronounced an interesting theoghaire
that the language of Erse
Has a shortage of verse
as the spelling makes poets so weoghaire


Dún Laoghaire is where the SSPX chapel near Dublin is located.
 
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Offline diaduit

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Re: Funny
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2019, 05:30:50 PM »
I was looking up the pronunciation of Drogheda, Ireland

https://www.google.com/search?q=drogheda+pronunciation&oq=DROGHEDA+pronun&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.4047j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Which led to this link.
https://www.dailyedge.ie/how-to-pronounce-irish-words-2102874-May2015/

Which led to this poem.

There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
Who pronounced an interesting theoghaire
that the language of Erse
Has a shortage of verse
as the spelling makes poets so weoghaire


Did you find out how to pronounce it?
Drawheeda 
 
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Offline clau clau

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Re: Funny
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2019, 06:31:06 AM »
Yes I did, thanks.   :)
Would you like to shake hands with Pope 1 or Pope 2 -
 me (inspired by Dr Seuss) see: https://seuss.fandom.com/wiki/Thing_One_and_Thing_Two

But when he's dumb and no more here,
Nineteen hundred years or near,
Clau-Clau-Claudius shall speak clear.
 

Offline clau clau

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Re: Funny
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2020, 05:39:56 AM »
Would you like to shake hands with Pope 1 or Pope 2 -
 me (inspired by Dr Seuss) see: https://seuss.fandom.com/wiki/Thing_One_and_Thing_Two

But when he's dumb and no more here,
Nineteen hundred years or near,
Clau-Clau-Claudius shall speak clear.
 
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Offline Lynne

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Re: Funny
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2020, 07:23:48 AM »


Yes! All of the above. (well, maybe not #3. I do look on it as a sign from God to have more humility. Thank you, Lord!)
« Last Edit: May 12, 2020, 07:26:14 AM by Lynne »
In conclusion, I can leave you with no better advice than that given after every sermon by Msgr Vincent Giammarino, who was pastor of St Michael’s Church in Atlantic City in the 1950s:

    “My dear good people: Do what you have to do, When you’re supposed to do it, The best way you can do it,   For the Love of God. Amen.”
 

Offline abc123

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Re: Funny
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2020, 11:19:26 AM »


Yes! All of the above. (well, maybe not #3. I do look on it as a sign from God to have more humility. Thank you, Lord!)

5. "Hey, we just received new requirements from the customer."
"I once laboured hard for the free will of man until the grace of God at length overcame me."- St. Augustine
 

Offline Pon de Replay

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Re: Funny
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2020, 07:04:27 PM »
A pair of Jews were walking down the street and they came upon a church with an odd sign outside advertising, "CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY: $500."  One of the Jews was tempted.  "You know, Moishe," he said, "I could really use five hundred dollars.  I think I'm going to do this."

"How could you, Shmuel?" said the other.  "To give up your patrimony, your covenant, your culture, everything.  Don't do it.  Don't even think of it."

But in goes Shmuel.  And Moishe sits outside waiting for him.  A half hour passes.  Then an hour, then two hours.  Moise gets very concerned.  Finally Shmuel comes out of the church.  "Well," Moishe demands, "what happened?  Did you do it?  Did you get the five hundred dollars?"

To which Shmuel replies: "what is it with you people and money?"


« Last Edit: May 13, 2020, 07:07:15 PM by Pon de Replay »
"The sneakiness of prigs, the conventicle secrecy, gloomy concepts like hell, like sacrifice of the guiltless, like unio mystica in drinking blood; above all, the slowly fanned fire of revenge, of chandala revenge—all that is what became master over Rome."

Rome sank to whoredom and became a stew
The Caesars became beasts, and God—a Jew!
 
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Offline clau clau

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Re: Funny
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2020, 03:54:29 AM »
Out Of Touch | Kevin James Short Film

Would you like to shake hands with Pope 1 or Pope 2 -
 me (inspired by Dr Seuss) see: https://seuss.fandom.com/wiki/Thing_One_and_Thing_Two

But when he's dumb and no more here,
Nineteen hundred years or near,
Clau-Clau-Claudius shall speak clear.
 
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Offline Pon de Replay

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Re: Funny
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2020, 04:49:52 PM »
A Jew was traveling on a train, peaceably reading his newspaper, when a Gentile who had noticed his yarmulke came along and sat down across from him.  The Gentile was a brusque and nosy sort, and abruptly he remarked, "I'm very intrigued.  You Jews are always so successful wherever you go.  Even when you're oppressed and persecuted, you manage to come back and thrive.  So what's your big secret?"

The Jew lowered his newspaper.  "It's pretty basic," he said.  "We work hard, we study hard.  We stick together.  It's as simple as that."

But the Gentile would not accept this as an answer.  "No," he said, "there's got to be some secret.  So come on, tell me."  And back and forth they went like this for a while: with the Jew giving rather ordinary explanations, and the Gentile pressing him for some secret gnosis.  Finally the Jew relented: "all right.  Fine.  You got me.  Look, the thing of it is, it's the herring."

"What?" asked the Gentile, incredulous.  "What herring?  What are you talking about?"

"Well," explained the Jew, "we eat a very special kind of herring.  It increases a person's smarts.  Gives a massive boost to the intellect.  Without the herring, we'd be nothing."

"Where I can get this kind of herring?" his interlocutor asked.

"Oh, you won't be able to get it anywhere.  Don't even bother.  No Jew is likely to give out the secret herring to a non-member of the tribe."  At this, he took out his paper bag lunch—and from it, a herring sandwich wrapped in wax paper.  "In fact, I have to eat mine now.  I have an important business meeting this afternoon."

"Wait," urged the Gentile.  "I've got to have that."

"What did I just tell you?  I have a meeting.  Now if you don't mind, let's be done."

"No.  I'm serious.  I'll give you twenty bucks for it."

The Jew laughed at this proposal.  "Twenty bucks.  Yeah, right."

"Forty, then," the Gentile said, but the Jew waved him off.  "Sixty," the Gentile continued, and on went the bargaining, until the desperate Gentile had gotten himself up to two hundred dollars for the sandwich.

"All right," relented the Jew.  "For two hundred dollars, I guess I can part with it."  The Gentile emptied his wallet and the Jew handed over the sandwich, which the Gentile swiftly unwrapped and tore into greedily.

But "hey," remarked the Gentile, his mouth full, his eyes suspicious: "this tastes just like regular herring."

"See?" said the Jew.  "It's working already!"
"The sneakiness of prigs, the conventicle secrecy, gloomy concepts like hell, like sacrifice of the guiltless, like unio mystica in drinking blood; above all, the slowly fanned fire of revenge, of chandala revenge—all that is what became master over Rome."

Rome sank to whoredom and became a stew
The Caesars became beasts, and God—a Jew!
 
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