I see both sides of this argument and think further distinctions need to be made. I have had the wonderful good fortune to see families of children grow from babes to adults. Sunday Mass was the only time I would see some of them. Watching a large family of children from age 7 – adult, dressed beautifully and returning one behind the other from communion, heads bowed, hands clasped, used to lift my spirit and I would ensure I communicated after them, just so I could watch them come back down the aisle so reverently. Their younger siblings, including babes in arms, were all in the pew, or on mother’s hip and none of them caused any disturbance. If they did and couldn’t be quieted immediately, the parents (or an older sibling) would immediately take them out of the church. They had prayer or saint books for them to read. They often sat on their mother or father’s lap or fell asleep in their arms. The expectation was for them to remain quiet for the duration of the Mass – which they did.
I have friends, all of whom have had many children attending Mass every Sunday from just after birth, unless, of course, they were unwell. Babes do cry, toddlers do become restless and noisy and the moment this happened and the mother or father wasn’t able to hush them immediately, they left the Church in a bid not to disrupt everyone else. Many of these children have grown into extremely well formed adults (or nearly so) still practising the faith, setting yet a further good example for their younger siblings.
I have also been to traditional Masses, where the priest would stop mid-sentence in his sermon if a crying or disruptive child persisted and wasn’t removed. The parents soon got the message.
In more recent times, I have noticed that the newer/younger parents don’t seem to be as concerned about a crying or noisy child. They don’t always remove them or quieten them or elect to sit in the back room, sound-proofed from the main Church (but with the altar visible) with the rest of the mothers and young children. I imagine it is their different form of parenting, lending more to the modern way, where children “need” to be able to express themselves freely. Or perhaps it is because the parents, in choosing that mode of parenting, have become immune to the noise and crying without good reason and expect the rest of us to abide by their choices and build up a tolerance similar to theirs. The child would have to be crying without good reason and not because they were hungry, wet, over-tired etc., in which case the parent’s obvious duty is to address the child’s needs, which would require them to do so outside the Church, one would think.
And like Awkward, I find the parents in this latter category very annoying, disrespectful and selfish. I don’t agree with their mode of parenting and I am open to any evidence one might be able to provide that shows me it is pleasing to God. Until then, I remain unconvinced and “suffer the little children to come unto Me” does not cut it. Awkward was not arguing that children should be turned away from God, but just that the baptised crying baby is just as pleasing to God if it is being rocked to sleep at home, or outside the Church or screaming in the pew next to Awkward. The mother is pleasing to God when she is fulfilling her duty. One will need to present a case if that is supposed to include attempting unsuccessfully to pacify a crying child in the church or curb an unruly tot, whilst they disturb everyone else trying to fulfil their Sunday obligation. An obligation which requires “devout attendance, i.e. he must have the necessary intention and attention” (Jone: Moral Theology).
Offer up the inconvenience? Well, I try, together with a prayer for the poor child, whose prospects are compromised. I also ensure I sit down the front, close as possible to the altar and priest, as I find those in question tend to sit further back. Fortunately, my experience is not nearly as bad as Awkward’s and neither do I have their issue with noise. And I don’t think that it is right to classify all traditional Masses as a liturgy played to the tune of a cacophony of unrestrained brats. I don’t know how one would be in a position to know what all Masses are like, unless one had been to a significant amount of them at different locations worldwide. I can only speak from my own experience, over a significant amount of years, at a number of different Mass venues, from which I can verify a recent trend in the direction Awkward describes and unfortunately has to endure. I too think it is an unfortunate sign of the times in which we live.
Have you tried speaking to your priest about it Awkward? Perhaps if enough people raise it with him, he would be forced to address it.
