Author Topic: I Am Sorry  (Read 541 times)

Offline dymphna17

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I Am Sorry
« on: January 06, 2019, 06:42:47 PM »
These are my reasons for not having been around for a few months. As per usual, I handled it all wrong and have honestly been too embarrassed to come back in to face you all. I kept thinking about the mantra of ďDonít write a long post telling everyone why you are leavingÖ Just Leave!!Ē  Except, I didnít want to leave. You all are like family to me. And yet, I did leave. I didnít know if I could come back or not. Here is my list of reasons:

1.   I was feeling like I was taking advantage of you all by constantly asking for prayers for all the various reasons that make their way into my life. And even though I was keeping you all in my prayers as well as for everything in the ĎPrayer Intentioní page, I just didnít feel like it was a fair trade. I donít know why I felt like that, I just did. But a few days ago, Hubby asked me why it was a problem for me to ask for prayers if I didnít feel the same way toward other people asking for prayers. I got to thinking about it and realized just how stupid that was.

2.   You would never know it, but I despise drama. I try to go out of my way to avoid it and have made a conscious effort to keep my own in check. At least thatís what I thought I was doing! I was seeing one problem after another and was becoming even more negative and snarkie than usual, and very unchatholic. I had to get a handle on these emotions, pronto!

3.   Hubbyís Protťgť was put into a hospital/school/detention center in KC. We were worried sick about him and spent as much time as possible with him. Once they started letting him come home on the weekends (he would spend one night with us and one night at home), things started getting easier. But that wasnít until October. I am very pleased to say that he was released completely on this past Friday. They have given him a lot of tools to be able to handle problems with that he didnít have before. Heís grown a lot, both physically as well as emotionally. Heís going to be challenged right out of the gate though. He has to go back to the ďbad kidĒ school where he was last year (he was sent to KC before school started this year) and his Dad is coming home from prison in just a few days. Thatís a lot for a 13 year old to grapple with, but he has a lot of resources now to help, should he need it.

4.   My health. I know, I know, AND agree with you, in that itís getting beyond over the top. But I now have a new Neurologist and he is much more involved in the migraine side of his discipline than my last one. So maybe now we will get somewhere!

5.   Then, my world was completely rocked. In October, I had another heart attack. I finally understood why I was feeling so crappy. Both physically as well as emotionally. This was why I was having such a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I donít fully understand the correlation, but the doctor assured me that physical and emotional health goes hand in hand. Iíve had a much more difficult time bouncing back this time though.

So there is my list. I donít see them as excuses for stupid behavior, but I would understand if you do.  Especially Miriam, Christe Eleison, who was kind enough to let me know what I was missing, and Elizabeth (Carleen gave me your message, I just didnít know what to do with it). I am deeply ashamed of how I have treated you all. I am truly sorry to any of you that I offended and am working on doing better. Please forgive me.  :-[   :pray1:
ن
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ďDonít waste time in your life trying to get even with your enemies. The grave is a tremendous equalizer. Six weeks after you all are dead, youíll look pretty much the same. Let the Lord take care of those whom you think have harmed you. All you have to do is love and forgive. Try to forget and leave all else to the Master.ĒĖ Mother Angelica
 

Offline Bernadette

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2019, 07:16:04 PM »
It's so good to see you again!
 
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Offline Christe Eleison

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Dymphna17 is BACK! God Bless!
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2019, 08:56:10 PM »
These are my reasons for not having been around for a few months. As per usual, I handled it all wrong and have honestly been too embarrassed to come back in to face you all. I kept thinking about the mantra of ďDonít write a long post telling everyone why you are leavingÖ Just Leave!!Ē  Except, I didnít want to leave. You all are like family to me. And yet, I did leave. I didnít know if I could come back or not. Here is my list of reasons:

1.   I was feeling like I was taking advantage of you all by constantly asking for prayers for all the various reasons that make their way into my life. And even though I was keeping you all in my prayers as well as for everything in the ĎPrayer Intentioní page, I just didnít feel like it was a fair trade. I donít know why I felt like that, I just did. But a few days ago, Hubby asked me why it was a problem for me to ask for prayers if I didnít feel the same way toward other people asking for prayers. I got to thinking about it and realized just how stupid that was.

2.   You would never know it, but I despise drama. I try to go out of my way to avoid it and have made a conscious effort to keep my own in check. At least thatís what I thought I was doing! I was seeing one problem after another and was becoming even more negative and snarkie than usual, and very unchatholic. I had to get a handle on these emotions, pronto!

3.   Hubbyís Protťgť was put into a hospital/school/detention center in KC. We were worried sick about him and spent as much time as possible with him. Once they started letting him come home on the weekends (he would spend one night with us and one night at home), things started getting easier. But that wasnít until October. I am very pleased to say that he was released completely on this past Friday. They have given him a lot of tools to be able to handle problems with that he didnít have before. Heís grown a lot, both physically as well as emotionally. Heís going to be challenged right out of the gate though. He has to go back to the ďbad kidĒ school where he was last year (he was sent to KC before school started this year) and his Dad is coming home from prison in just a few days. Thatís a lot for a 13 year old to grapple with, but he has a lot of resources now to help, should he need it.

4.   My health. I know, I know, AND agree with you, in that itís getting beyond over the top. But I now have a new Neurologist and he is much more involved in the migraine side of his discipline than my last one. So maybe now we will get somewhere!

5.   Then, my world was completely rocked. In October, I had another heart attack. I finally understood why I was feeling so crappy. Both physically as well as emotionally. This was why I was having such a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I donít fully understand the correlation, but the doctor assured me that physical and emotional health goes hand in hand. Iíve had a much more difficult time bouncing back this time though.

So there is my list. I donít see them as excuses for stupid behavior, but I would understand if you do.  Especially Miriam, Christe Eleison, who was kind enough to let me know what I was missing, and Elizabeth (Carleen gave me your message, I just didnít know what to do with it). I am deeply ashamed of how I have treated you all. I am truly sorry to any of you that I offended and am working on doing better. Please forgive me.  :-[   :pray1:


Dear Dymphna,  :seeya:

WELCOME BACK!! HAPPY FEAST OF THE EPIPHANY OF OUR LORD!! :pray3:
Happy New Year 2019! Many Blessings to you & yours!

It is great to see you again! You were always a loving fixture here, so it is obvious that you were incredibly missed!

You do not need to give us an explanation or apologize, but it is nice that you have. We are not here to judge one another. We should
be here to lift each other up, like family! There is nothing to forgive  :grouphug: Please do not feel bad.

I am so sorry that you have been through so very much! You are in our prayers.

We are ALL in this Valley of Tears together  :pray2:

Thanks for coming back & for the thread explaining it all! I am sure it was hard to do considering that you also just lost a dear friend.

Take good care of yourself,

Many Blessings to you, your hubby & loved ones.
 :grouphug: It is GREAT that you are back! :cheer:
« Last Edit: January 07, 2019, 12:42:47 PM by Christe Eleison »
 
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Offline Non Nobis

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2019, 10:05:20 PM »
Welcome back!!! (Now, go work on Carleendiane, although I know she has her reasons too).

I don't think you have been saying anything noticeably stupid at all ... (wellll, maybe over-apologizing a little bit, but that really shows a tender heart not stupidity).  There is no "trading" when it comes to asking for prayers - just as there is no selfishness (e.g. Kaesekopf's requests for himself, "For me" (do see that thread and pray for him)).

I'm glad to hear the good news about your husband's protege.

I am so sorry to hear about your heart attack - that provides an excuse (if excuse were needed) for MANY things. Yes, that would rock one's world.  :pray1:

Dymphna, we're all "a little too this" and "a little too that" that we can criticize in ourselves (I'm probably a little too unemotional... whatever) but among good Catholics humility and charity should overcome our  criticisms of ourselves and others.  We have to work on our imperfections, not fret over them. (Do what I say not what I do, both on the "work" side and the "fret" side).

You're are a sweet lady, dymphna.  God bless you, and welcome back.

 :D :D :D :pray1: :pray1: :pray1: :pray1:
« Last Edit: January 06, 2019, 10:11:28 PM by Non Nobis »
[Matthew 8:26]  And Jesus saith to them: Why are you fearful, O ye of little faith? Then rising up he commanded the winds, and the sea, and there came a great calm.

[Job  38:1-5]  Then the Lord answered Job out of a whirlwind, and said: [2] Who is this that wrappeth up sentences in unskillful words? [3] Gird up thy loins like a man: I will ask thee, and answer thou me. [4] Where wast thou when I laid up the foundations of the earth? tell me if thou hast understanding. [5] Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?
 
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Offline Chestertonian

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2019, 02:32:46 AM »
no apologies needed we're just glad you're back
"I am not much of a Crusader, that is for sure, but at least I am not a Mohamedist!"
 
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Offline red solo cup

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2019, 07:08:27 AM »
1. Asking for prayers is never taking advantage. In the disembodied world of the internet, prayer is one of the  ways we can connect. One of the ways we can support each other as catholics. I've always considered it my privilege to pray for the folks on SD and for you in particular.

2. Good. I don't like drama either.

3.This is good news.

4. I get migraines too. They last 2-3 days and I wouldn't wish them on anybody.

5. Mental stress is terrible for the body and causes it to break down.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's great to have you back.
"It's so lonely 'round the fields of Athenry"
 
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Offline maryslittlegarden

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2019, 01:00:58 PM »
No apologies needed - you have had a lot on your plate!!!    :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return
 
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Offline Miriam_M

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2019, 02:39:02 PM »
Woman,
Chestertonian X 10.

Welcome back, you picture of truly superior Catholic spirituality.  I love you, even while agreeing with Ches.

While I know I have prayed for you less faithfully than you for us, now I have reason to pray more, given that you've become "visible."
 :)

So, so glad to see that you may be making some medical progress with a new person.  Scary, I'm sure the heart situation, was.  it would be terrifying for me.  Someone in our parish has had heart scares several times in the last several years.  She's probably no older than you.
 
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Offline Habitual_Ritual

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2019, 05:55:02 PM »
It sounds trite, but get a juicer and start doing green veg juices every other day. You may be amazed at the issues that improve.

Today I made a batch consisting of carrots, dandelion greens, lemon juice,cucumber, grapes, collard greens and celery. Oh and some ginger root. It actually tastes really great.
" There exists now an enormous religious ignorance. In the times since the Council it is evident we have failed to pass on the content of the Faith.Ē

(Pope Benedict XVI speaking in October 2002.)
 
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Offline Michael Wilson

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2019, 02:04:24 PM »
Sorry I missed this; My prayers for you and your husband's protoge.  :pray2:
"The World Must Conform to Our Lord and not He to it." Rev. Dennis Fahey CSSP

"My brothers, all of you, if you are condemned to see the triumph of evil, never applaud it. Never say to evil: you are good; to decadence: you are progess; to death: you are life. Sanctify yourselves in the times wherein God has placed you; bewail the evils and the disorders which God tolerates; oppose them with the energy of your works and your efforts, your life uncontaminated by error, free from being led astray, in such a way that having lived here below, united with the Spirit of the Lord, you will be admitted to be made but one with Him forever and ever: But he who is joined to the Lord is one in spirit." Cardinal Pie of Potiers
 
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Offline Bonaventure

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Re: I Am Sorry
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2019, 11:46:49 AM »