Author Topic: Just a joke - add yours  (Read 674 times)

Offline Scowler

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Just a joke - add yours
« on: February 27, 2018, 05:45:43 PM »
Q: Who is a conservative?
A: A liberal, who just has been mugged.
Q: Who is a liberal?
A: A conservative, who has been incorrectly accused of this mugging.
 

Online Heinrich

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2018, 08:09:13 PM »
What is a terrorist's favorite sweet treat?
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.
 

Offline Scowler

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2018, 12:16:41 PM »
What is a terrorist's favorite sweet treat?

No idea. You tell me. In the meantime here are a few punch lines of other jokes:

She winks and says: "Twenty five bucks, same as in town".
The altar boy responds: "Usually ten bucks and a candy bar".
"Dammit Liza! Dontcha know your own reflection?"
 

Offline clau clau

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2018, 12:47:33 PM »
Scowler
Would you like to shake hands with Pope 1 or Pope 2 -
 me (inspired by Dr Seuss) see: https://seuss.fandom.com/wiki/Thing_One_and_Thing_Two

But when he's dumb and no more here,
Nineteen hundred years or near,
Clau-Clau-Claudius shall speak clear.
 
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Offline red solo cup

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2018, 05:04:36 PM »
There's three Scottish brothers and one of them emigrates to Australia. After 15 years he come back to visit. When he meets his brothers at the airport they both have beards down to their knees. He asked them why that is and one of them said "You took the razor with you".
"It's so lonely 'round the fields of Athenry"
 

Offline clau clau

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2019, 11:45:43 AM »
Happy St. David's day.  Here's a joke to celebrate (stolen from the Internet)

A prominent Welsh minister travelling home one night was greatly annoyed when a young man much the worse for drink came and sat next to him on the bus.

“Young man,” he declared, “do you not realise you are on the road to perdition?”

“Oh, hell,” replied the drunkard. “I could have sworn this was the bus to Llanelli.”

LOL!
Would you like to shake hands with Pope 1 or Pope 2 -
 me (inspired by Dr Seuss) see: https://seuss.fandom.com/wiki/Thing_One_and_Thing_Two

But when he's dumb and no more here,
Nineteen hundred years or near,
Clau-Clau-Claudius shall speak clear.
 
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Offline red solo cup

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2019, 08:32:33 AM »
No MacTavish was ever lavish.
"It's so lonely 'round the fields of Athenry"
 

Online Heinrich

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2019, 11:17:14 AM »
What is a terrorist's favorite sweet treat?

Isis Cream
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.
 

Offline mikemac

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2019, 10:09:56 PM »
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Like John Vennari (RIP) said "Why not just do it?  What would it hurt?"
Consecrate Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary (PETITION)
https://lifepetitions.com/petition/consecrate-russia-to-the-immaculate-heart-of-mary-petition

"We would be mistaken to think that Fatima’s prophetic mission is complete." Benedict XVI May 13, 2010

"Tell people that God gives graces through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  Tell them also to pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary for peace, since God has entrusted it to Her." Saint Jacinta Marto

The real nature of hope is “despair, overcome.”
Source
 
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Offline TheReturnofLive

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2019, 05:06:20 PM »
There were two drunkards who were on the rooftop of a local bar, and one says “I have a magic beer that actually gives me the ability to fly.”
“No way, that’s not true.”
So the guy drinks his beer and jumps off the roof, and flies around the roof and lands.
“Can I have a swig?”
So the other guy takes a drink of the beer, jumps off the roof, and falls down flat on his face.
The bartender comes up and says, “Superman, you are a real jerk when you are drunk!”
 
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Online Heinrich

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2019, 06:31:18 PM »
What do you call a pyro who lives in a trailer?
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.
 

Offline mikemac

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2019, 06:44:00 PM »
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
Like John Vennari (RIP) said "Why not just do it?  What would it hurt?"
Consecrate Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary (PETITION)
https://lifepetitions.com/petition/consecrate-russia-to-the-immaculate-heart-of-mary-petition

"We would be mistaken to think that Fatima’s prophetic mission is complete." Benedict XVI May 13, 2010

"Tell people that God gives graces through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  Tell them also to pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary for peace, since God has entrusted it to Her." Saint Jacinta Marto

The real nature of hope is “despair, overcome.”
Source
 
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Offline awkwardcustomer

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2019, 06:44:27 PM »
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two.  One to change the light bulb, the other to sing about how much better the old one was.
And formerly the heretics were manifest; but now the Church is filled with heretics in disguise.  
St Cyril of Jerusalem, Catechetical Lecture 15, para 9.

And what rough beast, it's hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
WB Yeats, 'The Second Coming'.
 
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Offline awkwardcustomer

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2019, 06:45:26 PM »
What do you call a pyro who lives in a trailer?

What's a pyro?
And formerly the heretics were manifest; but now the Church is filled with heretics in disguise.  
St Cyril of Jerusalem, Catechetical Lecture 15, para 9.

And what rough beast, it's hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
WB Yeats, 'The Second Coming'.
 

Online Heinrich

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Re: Just a joke - add yours
« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2019, 06:46:08 PM »
What do you call a pyro who lives in a trailer?

A fire cracker.
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.
 
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