Pregnancy Outside of Marriage

[Spooky]

When you think of single mothers, do you imagine:

The third option: Thank God she didn't succumb to the immense pressure to kill it before it was born.

[james03]

More sentimentalism.  Rah Rah Rah for Pro Life.

Anyone here advocating abortion as an option?  Didn't think so.

[Jayne]

The bible advises young widows with children to remarry as soon as possible. It's also traditional for a widow to go live with either her parents or a married uncle until she remarries or if she can't remarry- not to live alone as a single mother.

st paul says remarriage is to be avoided

I do not recall that.  Could you give a quote?

[Chestertonian]

However, as I stated above, there will always be exceptions, and the danger with what you are proposing--societal shame to try and force an adoption--is that individuals in the exceptional situation will be damaged. 

Am I even reading this on a Catholic forum?  Are you saying it is an improvement that we now accept single mothers as perfectly fine?

This thread is proof positive that Catholics need to dish the TV.

Here's a test.  When you think of single mothers, do you imagine:
1.  She's taking on the world out of love for her children.  HOW GREAT IS MOTHERLY LOVE!!!  Some how, some way, she'll make it.

or,
2.  They are a menace to society.

If you choose 1, you are brainwashed by TV and modern culture.  If you choose 2, you are still plugged into reality.

and there is no middle between those two extremes

[Spooky]

More sentimentalism.  Rah Rah Rah for Pro Life.

Anyone here advocating abortion as an option?  Didn't think so.

Gee, being anti-murder is "sentimentalism". You have no idea the pressure to abort. Even married women are pressured to abort. Especially if your family is not Catholic.

Who is a menace to society? The woman who didn't abort? Yeah, right.

[diaduit]

The bible advises young widows with children to remarry as soon as possible. It's also traditional for a widow to go live with either her parents or a married uncle until she remarries or if she can't remarry- not to live alone as a single mother.

st paul says remarriage is to be avoided

I do not recall that.  Could you give a quote?

Quite a few Saints say this too, I read it on another trad Catholic forum (frequently mentioned here and one you visit) but unfortunately I have no head for remembering Saints names.  A widow is encouraged to remain single after the death of her spouse but if she does remarry the Church allows it.

[Jayne]

The bible advises young widows with children to remarry as soon as possible. It's also traditional for a widow to go live with either her parents or a married uncle until she remarries or if she can't remarry- not to live alone as a single mother.

st paul says remarriage is to be avoided

I do not recall that.  Could you give a quote?

Quite a few Saints say this too, I read it on another trad Catholic forum (frequently mentioned here and one you visit) but unfortunately I have no head for remembering Saints names.  A widow is encouraged to remain single after the death of her spouse but if she does remarry the Church allows it.

The only thing that I can remember St. Paul saying is " But I say to the unmarried, and to the widows: It is good for them if they so continue, even as I.  But if they do not contain themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to be burnt." (ICor 7:8,9)

I think it is inaccurate to paraphrase that as remarriage is to be avoided.  He is saying the remarriage is the best option for some people.  Staying single is good for other people.

[james03]

The widows are older without children.

[Ava]

However, as I stated above, there will always be exceptions, and the danger with what you are proposing--societal shame to try and force an adoption--is that individuals in the exceptional situation will be damaged. 

Am I even reading this on a Catholic forum?  Are you saying it is an improvement that we now accept single mothers as perfectly fine?

This thread is proof positive that Catholics need to dish the TV.

Here's a test.  When you think of single mothers, do you imagine:
1.  She's taking on the world out of love for her children.  HOW GREAT IS MOTHERLY LOVE!!!  Some how, some way, she'll make it.

or,
2.  They are a menace to society.

If you choose 1, you are brainwashed by TV and modern culture.  If you choose 2, you are still plugged into reality.

Well sir, you still have not answered my question. Where does the Church advise that windows with infants give up said infants for adoption?  That is absurd.  As is assuming that children are not attached to their mother until after infancy. As a mother of 4, I can tell you that infants are, quite literally, attached to their mothers.

A father should never be considered optional, but the idea that when a father isn't a present that any couple will be better for the baby, no matter what the circumstances is simply false.

Do you have children?

[Arun]

If the Church stigmatizes unwed pregnancy, then we end up with people trying to cover up their sins with abortion and murder. I think that's one of the darker aspects of the pre VII Church(and society in general), and it's not something that we should desire to return to.

Then why stigmatize sin at all? Or follow any traditions? The New Church thinks a lot of things were the "dark side" of pre Vatican II. This is a two millenia old tradition spanning all cultures, supported by the Church until the last fifty years. Why should we abandon it just because the agenda for the New World Order says it's wrong?

given that the very quote you quoted refers to abortion and murder, your honestly not prepared to accept it as the lesser of the two evils here? really?? wow.

[Jayne]

Do you have children?

I have been reading posts by James for a long time so I know that he is a father.  More than that, he has impressed me as being a very good husband and father, based on what he has said about his family.

[Ava]

It is very hard for me to understand how anyone who has held their newborn baby in their arms can be so cold towards the bond of a mother and infant. 

[OCLittleFlower]

If a woman is so lax about her faith that she is conceiving children (assuming nothing like rape) without an established relationship/courtship, how is she any different from any modernist Catholic couple out there?

Holy crap, did you really say this?

Well, if you're so lax about your faith you need to go to confession then how any different are you from Protestants out there?

You're taking things out of context -- someone was saying they would never advise adoption if the unwed mom was Catholic, because the adoptive parents might not be faithful Catholics.  My point was that the unwed mother hasn't followed Church teachings -- so where is the evidence that she's any better than the average NO Catholic?

[Jayne]

It is very hard for me to understand how anyone who has held their newborn baby in their arms can be so cold towards the bond of a mother and infant.

A typical difference between men and women is that men are more focused on principles while women are more focused on relationships.  James is approaching the issue from the perspective of considering general principles.  You are thinking about relationships.

[OCLittleFlower]

(We all agree abuse is bad, but often don't agree on what abuse IS.)

well, do we? i mean some of us consider abuse to be worse than being raised in a stable, loving, single-parent household. some of us, yes i'm looking at you, have kind of implied that they don't.

No, I'm just willing to bet that stable unwed homes are VERY rare and that the outcome for the average adopted child is better than if they had stayed with their birth family.

Hundreds of little ones die in foster care before they get to be adopted.  The cps are obscene in general.

Relinquished children don't go to foster care in the US and CPS is not involved in their adoptions.  You're confusing that with kids who are taken away from parents by the government -- two systems with vastly different rules.