12 things moms of big families may want u to know... Link/paste

[angelcookie]

I like this post
I think I may send it mass email to everyone I know...

http://www.imperfecthomemaking.com/2012/01/12-things-moms-of-big-families-may-want.html?m=1

With five kids so far, I don't feel like we have a big family.  My mother has four, my mother-in-law has five, and I know a number of people with 8, 9, or 10 kids.  So the fact that we all fit in a standard mini-van convinces me that we are just at the high end of normal. Until, that is, we go out in public.  People's leers and comments quickly remind me that, to some people, we are a travelling circus show of cuteness and snot.

This post is called 12 things mom's of big families may want you to know because they didn't hold some big convention and elect me spokesperson. But from speaking with other mom's of many, there are definitely some points that come up again and again.

1) Please don't ask my kids if we're going to have more. We don't consult them!

2)Yes, we know what causes this.  No, we don't want to hear your thoughts on family planning.

3)Please don't stop me in the grocery store to tell me how busy I am.  I know I'm busy.  You know I'm busy.  So can I please get out of the cereal aisle before my 2 year old spots the fruity-o's?

4)Having a large litter of children doesn't mean I am particularly patient, or organized, or rich.  What I can tell you for sure is that I am far more patient and organized (and slightly less rich) than I was when I started having kids.

5)We don't look down on you for having less kids. You really don't need to preface every comment about how tired/frustrated/stretched to your limit you are with words like "well, I only have 2, but..."   I remember having  2 kids....I was exhausted and it was hard.  No matter how many kids you have, they require everything you know you can give and then some. 

6) Please please PLEASE don't make my children feel like freaks.

7) Don't compare us to the Duggars.  (Although from what I can tell, it would be a compliment.) Or some crazy hippy family you once knew with eleven kids who liked to dance naked in the woods or some such oddity.  You don't go around comparing families with 2 kids to one another, do you?  Of course you don't!

I would like to reiterate: Yes, we know what causes this.  Every time I leave the house I hear this question AT LEAST 3 times. It stopped being funny a long time ago.

9) People like to say "kids are such a blessing" in one breath and "but you're done, right?" in the next.  Don't.

10) Friends: I know you don't have enough chairs to invite us over for dinner.  Invite us anyways.  Please.

11)For goodness sakes, don't pity me.  This is by far the most mind boggling reaction we receive.  I am wandering contentedly through the grocery store with 5 healthy happy kids and people tell me that they feel sorry for me?  From where I stand, we are pretty stinkin' blessed.

12)Oh, and Yes....we know what causes this.  See, it starts to lose it's humour pretty quick, doesn't it?

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[OCLittleFlower]

People actually do the whole "you know what causes it, right?" thing to other people?   

[angelcookie]

Yes. I also have a few that you can tell are dying to tell me something, but they squirm in their seat biting their tongue. I sappose they will explode once another baby is announced if we are blessed. Why do people get so angry with your own family life decisions?

[Jayne]

Once you have more than 4 children you need a collection of Snappy Answers to What Causes This.  It will be asked.
My favorites were:
Lack of television.
Sneezing.

[Armor of Light]

Once you have more than 4 children you need a collection of Snappy Answers to What Causes This.  It will be asked.
My favorites were:
Lack of television.
Sneezing.

Passing each other in the hallway after a shower?

[angelcookie]

Oh, I like those! Seems I've started something on my block because now one neighbor is expecting and another contemplating.

I guess it's  the drinking water

[erin is nice]

I "love" when people see us and bring up some family with 10 or 12 kids that they know/met once-- Um, we only have five, we aren't even close to ten. I don't think I could even get to 10 at this point 

[stitchmom]

Many years ago I used to babysit 3 children under 3 once in a while, so I have 4 under 3 including my son. I would get the "How many more are you going to have?" 

[Archer]

I recently told a bunch of people at work that my wife was pregnant with our third.  There were some typical dumb responses that I'm getting used to hearing.

"Well, you guys sure have been busy," followed immediately by "but at least you're getting them out of the way. You're definitely done after this right?"

[Penelope]

My friend, who had four kids in 4.5 years (there may well be more in the future, but right now she needs some time to recover from the last 5 years of constantly being pregnant and/or breastfeeding), gets stuff like this all the time. Once when they had only three kids, they were all at the grocery store and some rando comments, "Oh, my, you certainly have your hands full." So my friend's husband says (in his hilariously smart-mouth way), "No, between us, we have four hands." And then the oldest, who has just turned five but must have been closer to three at that point, sticks out his two hands and says, "We have FIVE hands!"

[OCLittleFlower]

I recently told a bunch of people at work that my wife was pregnant with our third.  There were some typical dumb responses that I'm getting used to hearing.

"Well, you guys sure have been busy," followed immediately by "but at least you're getting them out of the way. You're definitely done after this right?"

I'm part of a writers group, where everyone is a pretty interesting mix of different faiths, etc.  One member is some kind of Protestant, doesn't force it down anyone's throat, nice guy.  He hadn't been coming for a while, and I asked about him.  The resident feminazi (also known as the woman who got on my case for saying that someone was "manning the desk" in my novel) went off on how his wife is expecting their third child, and how he's working two jobs now, and his wife doesn't work and isn't three kids crazy and oh the humanity.

[Archer]

The resident feminazi (also known as the woman who got on my case for saying that someone was "manning the desk" in my novel) went off on how his wife is expecting their third child, and how he's working two jobs now, and his wife doesn't work and isn't three kids crazy and oh the humanity.

I'm thankful I don't have to interact with anyone like that on a regular basis.   I probably would go nuts. 

[Elliott]

I have been at my job for 5 yrs. In that time I've had 6 kids. Whenever I see anyone from management, which isn't often, they ask me if there's another on the way. They don't joke so much anymore because they're used to it. My wife is the one that gets the rude comments.

[Mithrandylan]

I have been at my job for 5 yrs. In that time I've had 6 kids. Whenever I see anyone from management, which isn't often, they ask me if there's another on the way. They don't joke so much anymore because they're used to it. My wife is the one that gets the rude comments.

They don't joke because you've got a kick-ass beard that could be given a little crisco and shaped into a deadly weapon.  I wouldn't mess with you either.

[stitchmom]

I have been at my job for 5 yrs. In that time I've had 6 kids. Whenever I see anyone from management, which isn't often, they ask me if there's another on the way. They don't joke so much anymore because they're used to it. My wife is the one that gets the rude comments.

They don't joke because you've got a kick-ass beard that could be given a little crisco and shaped into a deadly weapon.  I wouldn't mess with you either.

Oh that made me laugh