Lonely

Started by Warwick, September 01, 2018, 05:49:53 PM

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Warwick

Quote from: Davis Blank - EG on October 07, 2018, 09:26:04 AM
The woman you loved is not the woman in reality.  The woman you loved cared about you.  The woman in reality is so cold hearted that she left you in this pain.  The woman you loved was only ever in your head, she never truly existed.  You thought this woman standing in front of you was the woman in your head, but she isn't, you misjudged the real woman and fell in love with a phantom.  You do not miss the real woman, what you miss is the phantom and continue to incorrectly associate the real woman with the phantom woman.

Put bluntly, you never fell in love with a real person.  The person you fell in love with never existed but for in your mind, which you projected onto this real woman whom is a cold hearted fornicator that likely would have dragged you to Hell had this continued on.

I twice had very painful breakups, both of which I was on the receiving end, and this recognition helped me move on.

Never talk to tbat woman again.  She isn't whom you loved.  Go find a woman to love.  There are plenty out there.  I live overseas but my trad parish has many lovely single women.  I suspect you can find a good Catholic woman at Church, go check out the N.O. if you have to (see whom shows up for non-Sunday / vigil Mass worship [like group rosary or adoration], or whom prays the rosary before Mass, those are probably good women).

At your parish, start nodding your head hello to anyone you walk by, that is an easy way to start a long process of introduction.  Nod heads for a few weeks, eventually one day you'll bump into this person more closely and its now super easy to make some comment like "what a storm yesterday" or whatever, small chat ending with "I'm ____, by the way."   Now you have a person to say hello to, by name, every week.  And the list will grow and the interactions will too as well.

Lots of introverted people packed into these churches.  Most would love to chat but are too afraid to, so manning up to break the ice is 99% of the time doing them a favor.

You need more confidence.  Every man is well suited for lifting.  While I haven't in awhile, I used to lift several times a week.  Lifting heavy weights in a gym with other dudes is always a good idea.  And I am a thin, weak guy, but still I went.  Getting into that routine is a major boost for morale.

If you are scrupulous then dedicate your lifting for your future wife and for the Church.  How so?  Somewhere there are women whom want to marry a man like you, but you need to go get them.  They won't come to you, you gotta get them.  To do so you need confidence.  Also, you want to be physically fit for your role as husband and father.  As for the Church, we are all called to evangelize, and its just reality that fit, confident men are, on the balance, more persuasive. 

You gotta lift in a gym with other dudes, not at home alone.  Go sign up somewhere this week.  Then next Sunday nod hello to one person.  Baby steps, but you'll be walking in no time.

You absolutely must get out of the house and into locations with people that has the potential to, one day, turn into social interaction.  Hit the gym, you'll discover the regulars, ask them for a pro-tip one day, easy icebreaker, everyone loves to show off.  Nod to people at your parish, of any age, just work towards saying hello and then small chat.

Returning to the woman, after you've hit the gym for a week, throw away the stash of her stuff you've probably got, and never look at her online stuff again.  She wasn't whom you loved anyways.  And once you've eventually said hello to some cute girl at Mass, you won't care about this cold  hearted woman again.

Edit: whenever you do make that small chat, always get a name by offering your name.  Then remember that name by repeating it, like "Have a great week Bob."  Then every time you see Bob in close proximity always greet with his name, people love to hear their names and will like you for it.  Get it from the pro-tip gym regulars and as many people at church as you can.
I appreciate it, ive telling my self  that i do want to ditch the online stuff eventually and see people.in person

Christe Eleison

Quote from: Warwick on October 07, 2018, 10:43:55 AM
Quote from: Christe Eleison on October 07, 2018, 08:46:14 AM
Quote from: Warwick on October 07, 2018, 08:08:58 AM
Im so depressed, i dint wabt to go to Mass today...


Please go to Mass, you will feel better afterwards. If do not go, the Evil one wins. Please go to MASS!!

Today is also the Feast of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary, Battle of Lepanto. Please pray the Holy Rosary today, go to Mass, maybe stay for coffee, hot chocolate & socialize a bit with others in the parish. Hang in there, close to Our Blessed Mother.

You will feel better if you go to daily Mass!!

You have my prayers  :pray3:

:grouphug:

:pray1: :pray2: :pray3:
Thank  you so much, im touched that there  are people out there with the same morals that care about me.


Dear Warwick,

Of course we all care about you!  :grouphug: You're our brother in Christ! We are in THIS together! It is an ONGOING BATTLE for SOULS!

The Evil one wants you to be depressed, do not let him win. The Evil one wants you to skip Mass!

And yes we have the same morals, and the FAITH that UNITES US ALL! The FAITH in OUR BLESSED LORD!!

THIS depression, sadness that you feel will pass, I promise!  :pray1: But you need to go to MASS!! You need to have the Sacraments!

Please go to MASS & stay close to Our Blessed Mother! She loves you so much!

And if you get the chance tomorrow go to a gym & workout a bit & have some chocolate (the chocolate has something that helps our mood,
and exercise releases happy hormones in our bodies  ;))

Take good care, and may God Bless you!

I will be praying for you!  :grouphug:

:pray1: :pray2:


Warwick


Christe Eleison

#33
Quote from: Davis Blank - EG on October 07, 2018, 09:26:04 AM
The woman you loved is not the woman in reality.  The woman you loved cared about you.  The woman in reality is so cold hearted that she left you in this pain.  The woman you loved was only ever in your head, she never truly existed.  You thought this woman standing in front of you was the woman in your head, but she isn't, you misjudged the real woman and fell in love with a phantom.  You do not miss the real woman, what you miss is the phantom and continue to incorrectly associate the real woman with the phantom woman.

Put bluntly, you never fell in love with a real person.  The person you fell in love with never existed but for in your mind, which you projected onto this real woman whom is a cold hearted fornicator that likely would have dragged you to Hell had this continued on.

I twice had very painful breakups, both of which I was on the receiving end, and this recognition helped me move on.

Never talk to tbat woman again.  She isn't whom you loved.  Go find a woman to love.  There are plenty out there.  I live overseas but my trad parish has many lovely single women.  I suspect you can find a good Catholic woman at Church, go check out the N.O. if you have to (see whom shows up for non-Sunday / vigil Mass worship [like group rosary or adoration], or whom prays the rosary before Mass, those are probably good women).

At your parish, start nodding your head hello to anyone you walk by, that is an easy way to start a long process of introduction.  Nod heads for a few weeks, eventually one day you'll bump into this person more closely and its now super easy to make some comment like "what a storm yesterday" or whatever, small chat ending with "I'm ____, by the way."   Now you have a person to say hello to, by name, every week.  And the list will grow and the interactions will too as well.

Lots of introverted people packed into these churches.  Most would love to chat but are too afraid to, so manning up to break the ice is 99% of the time doing them a favor.

You need more confidence.  Every man is well suited for lifting.  While I haven't in awhile, I used to lift several times a week.  Lifting heavy weights in a gym with other dudes is always a good idea.  And I am a thin, weak guy, but still I went.  Getting into that routine is a major boost for morale.

If you are scrupulous then dedicate your lifting for your future wife and for the Church.  How so?  Somewhere there are women whom want to marry a man like you, but you need to go get them.  They won't come to you, you gotta get them.  To do so you need confidence.  Also, you want to be physically fit for your role as husband and father.  As for the Church, we are all called to evangelize, and its just reality that fit, confident men are, on the balance, more persuasive. 

You gotta lift in a gym with other dudes, not at home alone.  Go sign up somewhere this week.  Then next Sunday nod hello to one person.  Baby steps, but you'll be walking in no time.

You absolutely must get out of the house and into locations with people that has the potential to, one day, turn into social interaction.  Hit the gym, you'll discover the regulars, ask them for a pro-tip one day, easy icebreaker, everyone loves to show off.  Nod to people at your parish, of any age, just work towards saying hello and then small chat.

Returning to the woman, after you've hit the gym for a week, throw away the stash of her stuff you've probably got, and never look at her online stuff again.  She wasn't whom you loved anyways.  And once you've eventually said hello to some cute girl at Mass, you won't care about this cold  hearted woman again.

Edit: whenever you do make that small chat, always get a name by offering your name.  Then remember that name by repeating it, like "Have a great week Bob."  Then every time you see Bob in close proximity always greet with his name, people love to hear their names and will like you for it.  Get it from the pro-tip gym regulars and as many people at church as you can.

Davis Blank & Miles Christi have given you excellent advice! :thumbsup:

Church, Sacraments, Adoration, praying the Holy Rosary at the parish, Church socials, coffee hour, breakfast get togethers after Mass, catechism classes at the parish, volunteer work with other Catholics & gym time!
And of course chocolate helps too  ;)

Our Blessed Lord feels lonely at times when we do not spend time with HIM in Adoration! Our Blessed Mother is always
there for you, seek her, pray & stay close to her! The pain will go away, but you have to make an effort as well.

Read & reread Davis Blank's post, it is very wise advice!

Please go to Mass & Confession!

:grouphug:

:pray2: :pray3:

http://juventutem.org/chapters/


Hail Mary Full of Grace, the Lord is with Thee

Blessed art Thou among Women & Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb, Jesus.

Hail Mary Mother of God,

Pray for us sinners, now & at the hour of our death!

Amen!

   


:pray3:

Christe Eleison


Warwick

Ive resisted for so long, having anything to do with  Norvus Ordo, I really just do not want to go. But there is a nice NO parish  down the street  from me, im still very  resistant but  I should  try to do somethhing. I still  havent done the church  social at the TLM parish I go  to. Maybe of i go to that enough. Then again  i wpuld love to meet Catholocs in my home town