Why women lose the dating game

[erin is nice]

One thing I noticed is that women seemingly think men care about their opinions to spontaneous express their views on a man's looks. Yet for some reason we cannot voice the truth about their weight.

Criticizing someone's appearance is rude, regardless of gender.

I was not expressing a desire to reference people's weight, but just stating some of my observations.

Many women have volunteered "tips" to make me more attractive without any provocation, yet men are held to silence about the slightest acknowledgement of facts towards these same people.

In particular, I noticed women seem more open to expressing "disgust" at attributes of men and being surprised when offense is taken.

If someone states that she doesn't find a particular attribute attractive, why do you take it as a personal offense?

When I hear things like "I don't like skinny/brunette/etc women" I don't see it as an insult, it's just personal preference.

[TerrorDæmonum]

If someone states that she doesn't find a particular attribute attractive, why do you take it as a personal offense?

If a 250 lb woman volunteers to tell me she thinks my beard "looks like shit" without any provocation, I take some offense, if only for the severe breech of social protocol. I do not care to look attractive to anyone, in fact, I would rather not, but I am mindful of the intent of others.

When I hear things like "I don't like skinny/brunette/etc women" I don't see it as an insult, it's just personal preference.

If a man such as myself told you specifically that you looked bad in a very coarse manner without being in a position to give any such opinion, would you see it as an insult?

[erin is nice]

If someone states that she doesn't find a particular attribute attractive, why do you take it as a personal offense?

If a 250 lb woman volunteers to tell me she thinks my beard "looks like shit" without any provocation, I take some offense, if only for the severe breech of social protocol. I do not care to look attractive to anyone, in fact, I would rather not, but I am mindful of the intent of others.

When I hear things like "I don't like skinny/brunette/etc women" I don't see it as an insult, it's just personal preference.

If a man such as myself told you specifically that you looked bad in a very coarse manner without being in a position to give any such opinion, would you see it as an insult?

First you mention women "expressing disgust at the attributes of men", and now you are talking about women specifically coming up to you and insulting you. These are two very different things. Speaking in general, "I don't like beards", is not insulting.

[Ben]

I'm annoyed with ugly people who think they're good looking. It suggests a pathological lack of self-perception. Countless loud fat black chicks come to mind. I tend to see this weakness in the black community more than other communities. Lots of ugly blacks walking around thinking they're good looking.

When I was younger very ugly black women would frequently make passes at me. They didn't seem to be aware of how physically unappealing they were, and how out of their league I was.

I remember a few years back some magazine posted a list of the ugliest women in Hollywood and Sarah Jessica Parker was listed. Through the years of watching her it was apparent to me that she fashioned herself a looker, so I took some pleasure in her finally being called out in a major magazine.

Conversely, being attractive and not realizing it is a very attractive trait.

[TerrorDæmonum]

First you mention women "expressing disgust at the attributes of men", and now you are talking about women specifically coming up to you and insulting you. These are two very different things. Speaking in general, "I don't like beards", is not insulting.

It was a minor point which I did not intend to expand. I think you have bigger fish to fry now...looking at was posted after this.

[Ben]

 

[Ben]

Very true!

[Bonaventure]

"If a 250 lb woman volunteers to tell me she thinks my beard "looks like shit" without any provocation, I take some offense, if only for the severe breech of social protocol. I do not care to look attractive to anyone, in fact, I would rather not, but I am mindful of the intent of others."

Just...lol

[TerrorDæmonum]

"If a 250 lb woman volunteers to tell me she thinks my beard "looks like shit" without any provocation, I take some offense, if only for the severe breech of social protocol. I do not care to look attractive to anyone, in fact, I would rather not, but I am mindful of the intent of others."

Just...lol

It was very surreal, and at work.

But the point was, originally, that the modern media conception of "man" and "woman" is very distorted and the culture has its own issues too.

[OCLittleFlower]

Men are very physical and visual, as a general rule -- so it's no shock to me that they assign numeric values to women based on their looks.  Now, I don't think they should walk up to women and tell them they are a 2 or something, but I don't blame them for thinking it and even using that system when talking to other men.

[TerrorDæmonum]

Men are very physical and visual, as a general rule -- so it's no shock to me that they assign numeric values to women based on their looks.  Now, I don't think they should walk up to women and tell them they are a 2 or something, but I don't blame them for thinking it and even using that system when talking to other men.

Actually, men seem to descent into a binary system most of the time.

[Penelope]

I'm annoyed with ugly people who think they're good looking. It suggests a pathological lack of self-perception. Countless loud fat black chicks come to mind. I tend to see this weakness in the black community more than other communities. Lots of ugly blacks walking around thinking they're good looking.

When I was younger very ugly black women would frequently make passes at me. They didn't seem to be aware of how physically unappealing they were, and how out of their league I was.

I remember a few years back some magazine posted a list of the ugliest women in Hollywood and Sarah Jessica Parker was listed. Through the years of watching her it was apparent to me that she fashioned herself a looker, so I took some pleasure in her finally being called out in a major magazine.

Conversely, being attractive and not realizing it is a very attractive trait.

Ben, for whatever my opinion may be worth to you, I feel that this post is getting a bit close to the lacking charity line. Your ideas are your ideas and I'm not asking you to change how you feel about a certain group or a certain person, but your phrasing of your ideas is potentially insulting to both entire groups and to individuals who may read or post here. One thing specifically that I find lacking charity is your delight in the public ridicule of an individual. To take pleasure in someone being publicly insulted (particularly for her appearance) is not an attractive trait in a person.

[Bonaventure]

...and yet, friends, putting aside all mutual recriminations that men and women often harbour against each other in their egotistical shallowness - as this thread demonstrates once more if need be - people of all walks of life; alphas, betas, ones, tens, virgins, whores, teenagers, mothers, fathers, old people, law-abiding citizens, petty criminals, etc., all of them are still consummed by pride and lust. All are vitiated by sin, being like rotten apples that can only revel in rottenness instead of the sound tree they came from. Our depravity knows no limits if God doesn't rein in. Human beings are experts in using other human beings to placate their selfish desires. Even couples and families who sincerely love one another are not free from using each other, in more subtle or more explicit ways. It's a vile reality when you stop and think about it.

O lost innocence! How far we've all fallen from the glory of God.

Yes, but we can rise above this, being transformed in Christ.

As many Catholics say nearly every Sunday, lavabis me, et super nivem dealbabor.

[erin is nice]

Men are very physical and visual, as a general rule -- so it's no shock to me that they assign numeric values to women based on their looks.  Now, I don't think they should walk up to women and tell them they are a 2 or something, but I don't blame them for thinking it and even using that system when talking to other men.

No one said this was shocking, but to say it is acceptable is wrong.

So you believe that dehumanizing women is natural to men and acceptable behavior?

[erin is nice]

I'm annoyed with ugly people who think they're good looking. It suggests a pathological lack of self-perception. Countless loud fat black chicks come to mind. I tend to see this weakness in the black community more than other communities. Lots of ugly blacks walking around thinking they're good looking.

When I was younger very ugly black women would frequently make passes at me. They didn't seem to be aware of how physically unappealing they were, and how out of their league I was.

I remember a few years back some magazine posted a list of the ugliest women in Hollywood and Sarah Jessica Parker was listed. Through the years of watching her it was apparent to me that she fashioned herself a looker, so I took some pleasure in her finally being called out in a major magazine.

Conversely, being attractive and not realizing it is a very attractive trait.

First, what is unattractive to you is not objectively ugly. There are plenty of men in the world who think big women are attractive.

Second, what kind of Christian takes pleasure in someone being called ugly?