Anyone have experience with job interviews?

[Daniel]

If anyone here has worked as an interviewing manager, or is good at being interviewed, could you tell me the secrets? I've searched the Internet but can't find any good answers.


First, my two main questions:

What do you do when you don't have an answer to the question that the interviewer is asking you?

Or worse: what do you do when you do have an answer but the answer that you have makes you look bad?


Also, in the interview, where am I supposed to be looking? Should I be looking into the webcam such as to retain "eye contact", or should I be looking at the interviewer in order to try and "read" his facial expressions? (I take it that it makes me look bad if my eyes are constantly moving back and forth?)

(For the rare "in person" interview, should I be looking into the interviewer's eyes, or is it bad to do that?)

Do interviewers hold it against you if you have poor lighting, or if your webcam is out of focused, or if there's all sorts of clutter in the background? I'm assuming they do but I'm just making sure. And I take it the webcam should be positioned below my face rather than above, in order to make me appear more dominant? (That's my instinct, as a photographer. Not sure if the same idea carries over into interviews though.)

And what should I be wearing? I know you're supposed to "dress for the position", but is this really appropriate when the interview is taking place through a webcam from my bedroom? I've sometimes put on a sports coat / dress shirt / tie, and have wondered whether I'm instead giving off the impression that I'm weird or crazy, since this normal people don't ordinarily sit around in their own bedrooms wearing such clothes.


Lastly, (and I'm guessing there's no easy answer to this,) how does one go about not being nervous? Nervousness is involuntary and physiological, so I'm guessing it's unavoidable. Maybe it goes away once you've been interviewed a thousand times, but you only get one interview. And nervousness makes you look bad. So how do we eliminate this problem?
One solution might be to find somebody (a non-nervous actor) to take the interview in your stead, but that would probably be dishonest. (Plus, if the employer finds out that the guy who shows up to work is not the same guy that was interviewed, he likely won't be too happy about. He may even fire you.) Probably a bad idea.
Is there a better solution?

[Daniel]

Bump

Again, my three main questions: 1.) what to do when you don't have an answer to the question, 2.) what to do when your answer will make you look bad, and 3.) how not to be nervous?

[james03]

3.  In order not to be nervous, do 20 interviews and get some experience.  Also, learn about humility.  Humility gets rid of nerves.

2.  Tell the truth.  Goes with being humble.

1.  Say, "I don't know, but I'd guess...."

Go in with the goal to sell yourself.  So think about your past job and education and how that will fit in with the job you are applying for.  So I believe you worked in a warehouse.  You'd say you learned to show up on time and get the job done, despite it not being the best job.  That scores you points.

[Daniel]

That's my inclination, but can it really work?

I generally think that I'm humble, so I'm not sure that this is the problem. What I think is happening is that interviewers aren't looking to hire honest or humble people. They're looking to hire those arrogant "Alexander the Great" type people--the loudmouthed boastful ones or those who put up a good ruse, acting like they own the place, or know it all, and who won't shut up about their many experiences and accomplishments (whether these achievements be real or merely in the person's own head). So when I go into the interview, recognizing my own place in the cosmos, giving truthful answers such as "I don't know" and "I've never had that experience or been in that situation", the interviewer looks at me (especially when comparing me against the other people being interviewed) thinking that I'm some sort of an idiot, or unqualified, or am just an overall boring person not worthy of consideration.


Kind of seems like a no-win situation though. I can't lie, because that's a sin. I could perhaps invent a sort of fantasy persona, and give truthful responses based on that persona (but not based in reality)... but that seems too much like lying.

Wondering if there may be a third option. Some trick perhaps. A way to get hired while answering the interview questions truthfully.

[abc123]

That's my inclination, but can it really work?

I generally think that I'm humble, so I'm not sure that this is the problem. What I think is happening is that interviewers aren't looking to hire honest or humble people. They're looking to hire those arrogant "Alexander the Great" type people--the loudmouthed boastful ones or those who put up a good ruse, acting like they own the place, or know it all, and who won't shut up about their many experiences and accomplishments (whether these achievements be real or merely in the person's own head). So when I go into the interview, recognizing my own place in the cosmos, giving truthful answers such as "I don't know" and "I've never had that experience or been in that situation", the interviewer looks at me (especially when comparing me against the other people being interviewed) thinking that I'm some sort of an idiot, or unqualified, or am just an overall boring person not worthy of consideration.


Kind of seems like a no-win situation though. I can't lie, because that's a sin. I could perhaps invent a sort of fantasy persona, and give truthful responses based on that persona (but not based in reality)... but that seems too much like lying.

Wondering if there may be a third option. Some trick perhaps. A way to get hired while answering the interview questions truthfully.

My goodness do you overthink things, which only sets you up for failure.

I'm in the technology field and have been interviewed, and conducted many interviews in my life. James gives good advice but let me add my two cents:

-Do not act sheepish. Make eye contact with the interviewer and be confident. Since this sounds like a webcam interview your body posture won't make as much difference but if you do an in person interview you want to sit up straight, don't fidget or sit back casually. And PLEASE do not scrupulously equate confidence with cockiness. They are NOT the same thing. I've interviewed confident individuals and cocky individuals. The cocky ones act like they are doing you a favor by being interviewed.

-You usually have at least a few days notice before an interview. Study up on what you'll be asked about which will add to confidence. In my field we ask technical questions. There have been times I didn't know an answer. Be honest and say that you don't know HOWEVER you will learn more about X,Y,Z. Honesty is the best policy. Trust me, most interviewers have a good BS detector.

-Have fun....seriously. Going on interviews is a great learning experience about yourself and how to deal with others in a high pressure situation. The worst thing that can happen is that you don't get the job.

[james03]

I generally think that I'm humble, so I'm not sure that this is the problem. What I think is happening is that interviewers aren't looking to hire honest or humble people.

Your problem is definitely not humility, but pride.  Look at the above sentence.  You think?  Based on what experience?  Have you been an interviewer?  Have you been a boss?  You don't matter.  You are a green horn puke.  Learn humility.

And they will also be checking to see how much you care to be hired.  If you give short answers "I don't know", then you really don't care whether you get the job or not.  And they'll pick that up in a hurry.  If you say, "I don't know, but based on my job/education, I'd guess it's something like this...." presents honesty and a desire to get the job.

[Daniel]

Your problem is definitely not humility, but pride.  Look at the above sentence.  You think?  Based on what experience?  Have you been an interviewer?  Have you been a boss?  You don't matter.  You are a green horn puke.  Learn humility.

Based on my experience of being interviewed various times by different companies and not getting hired. Obviously something's wrong. You're accusing me of pride for merely stating my opinion? (And a perfectly reasonable opinion at that, based in my knowledge of self...) I think I at least know my own interview skills (or lack thereof), enough to know that I'm in need a new strategy. (Granted, my résumé and cover letter might be part of the problem. But I'm fairly certain that the bulk of the problem is the interview.)

And they will also be checking to see how much you care to be hired.  If you give short answers "I don't know", then you really don't care whether you get the job or not.  And they'll pick that up in a hurry.  If you say, "I don't know, but based on my job/education, I'd guess it's something like this...." presents honesty and a desire to get the job.

That's what I've generally been doing, but half the time I don't even have the slightest idea. Then I just sit there for several minutes saying "uh" and "um", and sometimes I eventually come up with an answer, but I honestly don't know if it's remotely what they're looking for. I doubt it looks good. I could be wrong. But I don't see how it could possibly look good.

-You usually have at least a few days notice before an interview. Study up on what you'll be asked about which will add to confidence. In my field we ask technical questions. There have been times I didn't know an answer. Be honest and say that you don't know HOWEVER you will learn more about X,Y,Z. Honesty is the best policy. Trust me, most interviewers have a good BS detector.

Maybe it has to do with the field, but when I'm interviewed they usually ask me stuff about my personal life and stuff about my career experience. Not really sure how to prepare for this sort of stuff. (The latter is especially problematic since I don't have much relevant experience.)

But thanks for the tips!

[Jacob]

That's what I've generally been doing, but half the time I don't even have the slightest idea. Then I just sit there for several minutes saying "uh" and "um", and sometimes I eventually come up with an answer, but I honestly don't know if it's remotely what they're looking for. I doubt it looks good. I could be wrong. But I don't see how it could possibly look good.

Maybe it has to do with the field, but when I'm interviewed they usually ask me stuff about my personal life and stuff about my career experience. Not really sure how to prepare for this sort of stuff. (The latter is especially problematic since I don't have much relevant experience.)

Daniel, I'm confused.  Earlier you mentioned you've been, "interviewed various times by different companies," and they are usually asking you questions about your personal life and your career experience?  But you don't have the slightest idea how to respond half the time?

Can you give us one specific question that you trip over again and again?

[Daniel]

Can you give us one specific question that you trip over again and again?

It's usually different questions each time, but I keep getting caught off guard. Part of it could probably be that I'm not prepared enough. I'm not sure I can recall a specific example though.

But one thing that always comes up (when being interviewed for teaching positions) is teaching experience. And so I tell them that I have next to no teaching experience. (But I'm thinking interviewers secretly hold it against me. Makes me look inexperienced.)

Other questions end much worse, with me just sitting there for a minute or two, puzzled, saying nothing but "um" and "uh" (and perhaps eventually cobbling together an answer that's so incoherent that it probably would have been better if I didn't answer). But I cannot recall the exact questions which prompted these sorts of answers.

[james03]

Based on my experience of being interviewed various times by different companies and not getting hired. Obviously something's wrong. You're accusing me of pride for merely stating my opinion? (And a perfectly reasonable opinion at that, based in my knowledge of self...) I think I at least know my own interview skills (or lack thereof), enough to know that I'm in need a new strategy. (Granted, my résumé and cover letter might be part of the problem. But I'm fairly certain that the bulk of the problem is the interview.)

Yes.  Your opinion is worthless.  You are a green horn puke that knows nothing.

(But I'm thinking interviewers secretly hold it against me. Makes me look inexperienced.)

There's no secret.  They hold it against you because you have nothing to offer.  There's no way they'll hire you for a teacher spot.  This is an extremely crowded market and you have no experience and no teaching education.

[james03]

I have some pity on you.  It is obvious you have zero male role models in your life.  For your immediate problem:

1.  Quit f'ing around with the teaching job.  Make friends with some illegals and see if they can get you a job at a slaughter house shoveling gut piles.  That is what your worth is currently to society.  Actually since you aren't working, you are below that.  Start making money.

2.  You have two choices.  You can work unskilled labor the rest of your life and at least pay your way, or you can get training in a job that pays decent money.  IF you did some coding with your gaming major, I'd go the coding route.  Get certified and get a job.  This will take a year of dedicated effort AND you have to work at the same time.

3.  No matter what, you need a job.  You could work night shift at a convenience store or work as a night watchman.  The watchman job is nice because you can study while you are sitting at the desk with nothing to do.  Then work another 4 hours in the afternoon with computers.  Take whatever they pay and work on Wordpress sites or work on networks.  You need to be working 60 hours per week and building up some cash and a work history.

4.  Establish a work history and spend time getting certified.

5.  Vow from this moment on you will take full ownership and responsibility for your f'ed up life.  Never whine again and don't make anymore excuses.

6.  Eliminate all porn and video game addictions.  Don't smoke anymore weed if you are doing that.

7.  Start a once per week electronics fast.  Don't turn on your computer or any video games or smart phone apps/browsing for one day a week.  Offer up the fast to increase in virtue.  Alternate weeks.  One week offer it up for humility.  The next week offer it up for prudence, which is aligning yourself with reality.

8.  For a role model, watch this guy's Youtube channel.  Here's the latest video, you can find the channel from that:


This guy started out with a beat up mini excavator.  A few years later he has a million dollar construction company and a fully stocked shop and yard.  He built this with masculine power.  During the warm months he gets excavation gigs.  During the winter he doesn't take a break (remember, he's a millionaire now), instead he gets snow plowing gigs which probably pay $100 a pop.  In the video I posted, pay close attention to how he responds after facing problem after problem.  Does he whine?  Does he make excuses?  What happens when he can't get a bolt out?  He takes out a torch and cuts the f'cker in half.  What happens when his hood latch breaks?  He busts that plastic grill and gets it open.  That is male aggression and that's what it takes to get a job done.  Towards the end of the video he's put together a great snow plowing rig that makes him a ton of money.

Blue collar dude who is a millionaire doing a cool job.  Don't live vicariously through him.  Instead have humility and observe what is lacking in your life, and what it LOOKS like to be masculine.  Watch one of his videos per day because that is all the time you have since you are so far behind.

Where do you want to go?  At 50% this dude's level. 
Where are you now?  Practice humility and accept you are a worthless green horn puke lower than a worm. 
How are you going to get there?

Use the advise above and read my book again and start DOING what it tells you to do.  Give yourself a full year to evaluate results IF you are DOING the work and working ANY job and working on your education/training for a skilled job.  IF you keep putting it off, then you will live the rest of your life as a worm.

You have another option.  Sit on your butt, make excuses, and play video games.  Eventually Uncle Joe is going to issue a bunch of usurious debt, bail you out of your student loans, and leave the bill for my unborn grand kids to pay off.

That's your choice.

[Graham]

In your last thread about learning to make presentations (at least I believe that was the topic) I said you needed to learn how to talk better. Have you done anything since then with the goal of improving your speaking ability? Not that I expect you to do whatever I tell you, but it was good advice if I do say so myself, and applies equally to your questions in this thread. There is no verbal or written answer to the issue of you hemming and hawing for minutes on end when asked a question you're not sure about. That is simply a lack of social skills and speaking ability.

[Daniel]

They hold it against you because you have nothing to offer.  There's no way they'll hire you for a teacher spot.  This is an extremely crowded market and you have no experience and no teaching education.

1.  Quit f'ing around with the teaching job.  Make friends with some illegals and see if they can get you a job at a slaughter house shoveling gut piles.  That is what your worth is currently to society.  Actually since you aren't working, you are below that.  Start making money.

2.  You have two choices.  You can work unskilled labor the rest of your life and at least pay your way, or you can get training in a job that pays decent money.  IF you did some coding with your gaming major, I'd go the coding route.  Get certified and get a job.  This will take a year of dedicated effort AND you have to work at the same time.

3.  No matter what, you need a job.  You could work night shift at a convenience store or work as a night watchman.  The watchman job is nice because you can study while you are sitting at the desk with nothing to do.  Then work another 4 hours in the afternoon with computers.  Take whatever they pay and work on Wordpress sites or work on networks.  You need to be working 60 hours per week and building up some cash and a work history.

4.  Establish a work history and spend time getting certified.

Not trying to be rude, but I think you're giving me too much credit. I am not an expert theologian or a mystic. I am just a lowly Joe, trying to navigate my way around an evil world, using a moral compass which only works some of the time. The only guiding principle I have to go with is this: "If company X appears to be evil, then avoid company X". And nearly all companies appear evil, hence my options are greatly limited.

Perhaps I could follow your advice if I were standing on less-shaky ground, but it is not so.

Yes, I am a competent programmer. But no, I won't pursue it, as just about every tech company out there is rotten and is under the influence of the devil. Show me a tech company who is authentically Catholic--who neither commands its employees to sin, nor values profits above its customers, nor contributes to the destruction of society--and I'll reconsider.

Teaching is a way of dodging the problem. Since the schools I'm looking to work for are genuinely Catholic (or at least try to be), there is less of an issue. A genuinely Catholic school is not going to command its employees to sin. A genuinely Catholic school is not going to put its employees to work towards the destruction of society and the damnation of souls. A genuinely Catholic school is under the influence of the Holy Spirit, not the evil spirit.

But really, it doesn't have to be teaching. Any genuinely Catholic business will do. I may not be as enthusiastic about it, but I'd be willing to work if I can find work. Because yes, I am fully aware that I need the money. Problem is, I have no idea where to find such businesses. I don't know where even to look. I suspect that there just aren't many such companies out there. Most businesses are rotten and under the control of Satan, just like the tech companies. Granted, there are a few businesses that do seem at least somewhat acceptable (Angelus Press, for example, looks fairly decent (ignoring the question of the SSPX) but I've asked and they say they aren't hiring). But the overwhelming majority are not an option.

But as far as enthusiasm goes, don't interviewers try and pick up on that? So this mindset of "It's not my first choice, but I'll do it. I'm really only in it for the paycheck" counts against me. Teaching is different. I am genuinely interested in teaching, so I would think this would work to my advantage. Yes, I am inexperienced. But every teacher was new at one point, so I don't know what these schools expect. Am I to just magically conjure up some experience?

~

Guess it's also worth mentioning that I am, at the moment, not particularly looking to make a living. I only want to make a large amount of quick cash, in order to pay off my debts within the next two years, in order to enter a religious community before they tell me I'm too old.

Now if I didn't have a religious vocation, (or if two years had gone by and my debts still had not been paid,) then I'd try working towards the attainment of a career. And for lack of better options--and because of genuine interest--the career I'd shoot for would be teaching. To do that, my first step would be in finding some school who would let me teach unpaid for a year or two, in order that I may get some real (as well as documented) teaching experience. This--I would think--would increase my chances of being hired.

Perhaps a different choice of career would be better, practically speaking, but my spiritual condition will need to improve first, because as of now I don't see how to avoid the sin.

[Daniel]

In your last thread about learning to make presentations (at least I believe that was the topic) I said you needed to learn how to talk better. Have you done anything since then with the goal of improving your speaking ability? Not that I expect you to do whatever I tell you, but it was good advice if I do say so myself, and applies equally to your questions in this thread. There is no verbal or written answer to the issue of you hemming and hawing for minutes on end when asked a question you're not sure about. That is simply a lack of social skills and speaking ability.

I recall that somebody (might have been you) suggested that I do Toastmasters. I checked it out but they weren't scheduled to meet in person any time soon (at the time) because of COVID. Not sure if they're meeting now or not, but I don't have the money to join anyway. (I'm in like $60,000 of debt. I don't know what the laws of morality are, but every cent I make goes towards paying that back. I don't know whether I'm allowed to spend money on other stuff or not, but I'm not taking any chances. If Toastmasters were free then I'd consider checking it out, but it's not free as far as I can tell.)

[Prayerful]

Research your company, do a script. Record yourself. Nothing else. I never fail interviews.