How do I get through this situation?

[Christina_S]

We have a young daughter whom my parents haven't met because I'm unwilling to sweep their past behaviour and treatment of my husband under the rug.

Good for you.

I mean that. I've had to go through something similar. Don't let up.

Thanks, LausTibiChriste.

I've missed having you around here.

[diaduit]

Sorry Christina, I am not dragging out the complete details from your sad situation but are your parents traditional catholics or even catholic?

My non practicing husband was welcomed on day 1 by my parents and they loved him dearly, I can't imagine being in that situation.

TJ, is he a charmer, a smoozer, saying all the right things about respecting your daughters religion so that he can date her?  if he is a moral upstanding steady man and he is agreeable to the children being reared in tradition then I wouldn't interfere.  However my mother always said, mothers have an instinct and we should never ignore it but for me there would have to be more red flags than r movies.

[MaximGun]

I handle the naked bits in movies by knowing where they are and mostly always using DVDs so I can fast forward easily.  Then we all shout, "snogging" which makes light of the whole situation.  The sex scenes don't add much to the story.

There would probably be a good living to be had in taking movies and editing out the rude bit and making a site where Christians and people who did not want to watch such stuff could watch cleaned up movies. 

[queen.saints]

Even though a lot of stuff got taken off VidAngel after their lawsuit with Disney, they still have a lot of movies and shows on there and you can filter out literally whatever you want.


https://www.vidangel.com/

[queen.saints]

I've never watched "AVA" or heard of it; it's just an example from in their help section.

[Christina_S]

Sorry Christina, I am not dragging out the complete details from your sad situation but are your parents traditional catholics or even catholic?

My non practicing husband was welcomed on day 1 by my parents and they loved him dearly, I can't imagine being in that situation.

Yes, my parents are NO Catholics. We went to Mass every Sunday when I was growing up, and occasionally to Mass and Adoration during the week. My parents sent us to Catholic summer camps and would sometimes pray the Rosary at home with us. They followed all Church teachings on contraception, abortion, gay marriage, etc with no issues.

My mom announced in July that she has left the faith, but I don't know what the situation is for the rest of the family. I think things took a bad turn when they were unhappy about my marriage, which the Church ruled was just fine, but with the COVID nonsense keeping them away from Mass and the sacraments for months last year, that probably drove the spike deeper.

[james03]

He seems very nice but there are some things that worry me. He's a Catholic but a regular NO Catholic and I don't think he's ever been to the TLM.

Does he go regularly?  That's a huge plus.  Most men instinctively love the TLM.  Bring him to one.  Also, he's attracted to your daughter, whom I'm assuming is feminine and traditional.  Good taste.  Is he masculine?  What does your husband think of him?

I worry about if she were to marry him they would fight a lot

That would be a plus.  Has she ever been so angry with him that she scratched him?  If so, he's the one.

because she was raised with traditional Catholic values and he was raised with modern Catholic values. I think she believes she can be a good influence on him.

She probably can.  She needs to be ready to set some boundaries.  Her future marriage will be Catholic and the family is going to the TLM.  I doubt he is anti-TLM and a lot of men don't have much of an opinion at their age.  If he values her because she is feminine and traditional virtues, being he is a man and lives on logic and not emotion, he'll want to raise his kids the same way.

So my question is: how much input do I have about this? She's an adult who lives at home but I also don't want to be so pushy she leaves and makes a horrible marriage choice she'll never be able to get out of.

1.  Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
2.  Advise your daughter to start taking him to the TLM.

[AlNg]

She's an adult who lives at home but I also don't want to be so pushy she leaves and makes a horrible marriage choice she'll never be able to get out of.

Since she is an adult, i think it is better to mention your concerns one time only. In the end it will be her decision.  It is not going to be easy for her to find a perfect partner who meets your specifications. As far as movies are concerned, some PG-13 movies are just as bad with the use of our Lord's Name in vain and the f word. I don't know why Catholics don't boycott movies which use the Holy Name in vain. I am sure that a Muslim would be upset if a movie were to blaspheme the name of their prophet.

[GiftOfGod]

I worry about if she were to marry him they would fight a lot

That would be a plus.  Has she ever been so angry with him that she scratched him?  If so, he's the one.

Please tell me you're kidding.

[james03]

My writing style, if you haven't noticed, is to over exaggerate to make a point.

Fighting, if done properly, is good for a marriage.  Women love the emotion involved, but more importantly it gets problems out in the open and avoids secret grudges.

Eliminating drugs, alcohol, and dudes beating the crap out their wives, in my experience the usual cause of divorce is lack of fighting.

I had a buddy who got divorced.  I finally had to ask, so asked him what went wrong.  He said, "She was a bitch.  One time I was napping and she started up the vacuum cleaner."

"What did you do?"

"I was so mad I left."

"Dude, did you ever consider that she was looking to fight with you?"

His mouth dropped open because he realized I was right.