Lonely

[Warwick]

Hello everyone Im a convert, New to the Catholic  faith. I was confirmed  last year. I love Medieval history abd nature. Ive just been very lonely  and sad and I wanted to reach out to you all. I tell  myself  to go to the social after mass seems but i never  go Im shy, been a vicious cycle. Hope you all are doing well.

[The Curt Jester]

If you have problems with shyness, start singing and then join a choir.  That'll help!

[MilesChristi]

Hello everyone Im a convert, New to the Catholic  faith. I was confirmed  last year. I love Medieval history abd nature. Ive just been very lonely  and sad and I wanted to reach out to you all. I tell  myself  to go to the social after mass seems but i never  go Im shy, been a vicious cycle. Hope you all are doing well.

It's seems you know the solution. You are the only person standing in your way.

[drummerboy]

Go find a martial art or boxing gym; that'll help with shyness, boost your confidence and get you in good shape all at the same time, besides giving you some useful self-defense skills and man points.

I know from experience 

[Matto]

Do you get lonely? There are lots of ways to combat loneliness. I get lonely sometimes, perhaps because I am not married (but then again married people get lonely also). Three weeks ago I was feeling very lonely. So I started writing an absurd fantasy story about a marriage in my free time. I have about thirty seven pages so far and it is more than halfway finished. I hope to finish it one day. Thinking about things and putting my thoughts down in the computer has made me feel better. Maybe you could write a story about chivalry. I don't think I am a very talented writer and I don't know if my story is any good, but is has been very therapeutic for me as a hobby. Just a suggestion. I also find that watching sad films and tragedies makes me feel less lonely. I remember one time when I was lonely because I knew I would probably never see a girl I had a crush on ever again, I played the Van Halen song "Jamie's Crying" a bunch of times in a row. Her name was Jamie. That helped. And of course you could also do the obvious and go to the social after Church and meet people in real life but that can be very difficult if you are shy and introverted. I know what it is like to be afraid of social interaction, especially with women. I know the social element of talking to similar people on the internet is one of the reasons I post on forums.

[Warwick]

Hello everyone Im a convert, New to the Catholic  faith. I was confirmed  last year. I love Medieval history abd nature. Ive just been very lonely  and sad and I wanted to reach out to you all. I tell  myself  to go to the social after mass seems but i never  go Im shy, been a vicious cycle. Hope you all are doing well.

It's seems you know the solution. You are the only person standing in your way.

I guess youre right, x i habent even  been going to confession. I guess i sjoukd get a handke on thos in case  o die bow and go to hell. Being  lonely sucks but its better then hell. Thsnk you all for the posts, hope to fet to them later

[Heinrich]

You lift, bro?

[PerEvangelicaDicta]

It's good you are here, friend.  I'm told the majority of trads are introverts, so you are in good company here.

Medieval history, eh?  ( my spouse is Canadian    )   Forum member "The Harlequin King" is our resident expert. Search his postings.   Here is his blog:
http://modernmedievalism.blogspot.com/

Also, here in the  'Coffee Pot' threads is a lot of light hearted banter conductive to brotherhood.  You're not alone, my friend.  We are your family.  You are part of the magnificent Catholic Church of Our Savior, His Body.

[Bonaventure]

I love medieval history and nature too. I'm naturally an introvert. You are the only person who can change your situation. People aren't gonna show up at your door like a pizza man wanting to be friends. You have to go out and find them. Change your reality, and find similar minded people. Forums like ours can help. 

[Greg]

Offer to give a talk on medieval Catholic customs and explain the difference between the popular Hollywood inspired myths about them and the reality.  Trial by ordeal, ducking stool, burning witches, jousting, etc.  Post it on the noticeboard (with priest permission) and hold it in the after mass social after it has finished (about 60-90 mins after mass ends or whatever it is).  Bring scones, clotted cream, cake and very high quality tea and coffee (free for those who attend) and ask them to register their interest so you can gauge numbers.  Either putting their names on the poster, or, emailing you.

You'll get about 5-10 people (with the bribe of free high quality grub). Will cost you about $40 in food (peanuts compared to the value to you).

This is a no lose proposition.  It ONLY has upside for you.

1.  You're unlikely to screw it up, or be boring, because it is a subject close to your heart.  Generally when you speaking about anything you are passionate about you are going to be interesting to a listener.  You can and should test your ideas here with the forum first as we are a critical audience.

2.  At least half a dozen people will then know who you are as a result of the talk and them they will be inclined to introduce you to sisters, brothers, girlfriends, daughters etc.  People introduce people they "know".

3.  If a single woman does turn up to your talk it either means she's really interested in Medieval History or she likes you.  There's no downside here.

Summary, takes no super personality to do this.  You need to prepare, work out what to cover and not to cover and handle questions.  You will probably enjoy it.  The kind of people who attend are likely to find they enjoy your company, they will then network you in to their networks.

[Jayne]

I tell  myself  to go to the social after mass seems but i never go...

Certain personality types do not do well with the social after Mass.  I'm like that too.  I just feel horribly awkward and uncomfortable in situations in which one needs to make small talk with strangers, even though I'm perfectly fine giving a speech before a large group.

Figure out what situations do work for you, rather than forcing yourself into ones that don't.  You might do better in a small, task-oriented group. Choir, as already mentioned, is one example, but your parish may have other possibilities in this category.  There might be a cleaning crew, fund-raising group, or charitable activities.  You could even volunteer to help with the work for the social after Mass (wiping tables, stacking chairs, etc.).  Then you would have something to do instead of standing around feeling uncomfortable.

[Warwick]

I tell  myself  to go to the social after mass seems but i never go...

Certain personality types do not do well with the social after Mass.  I'm like that too.  I just feel horribly awkward and uncomfortable in situations in which one needs to make small talk with strangers, even though I'm perfectly fine giving a speech before a large group.

Figure out what situations do work for you, rather than forcing yourself into ones that don't.  You might do better in a small, task-oriented group. Choir, as already mentioned, is one example, but your parish may have other possibilities in this category.  There might be a cleaning crew, fund-raising group, or charitable activities.  You could even volunteer to help with the work for the social after Mass (wiping tables, stacking chairs, etc.).  Then you would have something to do instead of standing around feeling uncomfortable.

Thank you that is very helpful. My Godmother will be back, not before too long and would be a great advocate for me and help introduce me.

[Warwick]

Offer to give a talk on medieval Catholic customs and explain the difference between the popular Hollywood inspired myths about them and the reality.  Trial by ordeal, ducking stool, burning witches, jousting, etc.  Post it on the noticeboard (with priest permission) and hold it in the after mass social after it has finished (about 60-90 mins after mass ends or whatever it is).  Bring scones, clotted cream, cake and very high quality tea and coffee (free for those who attend) and ask them to register their interest so you can gauge numbers.  Either putting their names on the poster, or, emailing you.

You'll get about 5-10 people (with the bribe of free high quality grub). Will cost you about $40 in food (peanuts compared to the value to you).

This is a no lose proposition.  It ONLY has upside for you.

1.  You're unlikely to screw it up, or be boring, because it is a subject close to your heart.  Generally when you speaking about anything you are passionate about you are going to be interesting to a listener.  You can and should test your ideas here with the forum first as we are a critical audience.

2.  At least half a dozen people will then know who you are as a result of the talk and them they will be inclined to introduce you to sisters, brothers, girlfriends, daughters etc.  People introduce people they "know".

3.  If a single woman does turn up to your talk it either means she's really interested in Medieval History or she likes you.  There's no downside here.

Summary, takes no super personality to do this.  You need to prepare, work out what to cover and not to cover and handle questions.  You will probably enjoy it.  The kind of people who attend are likely to find they enjoy your company, they will then network you in to their networks.

Thank you that is a great idea, definitely something i would want to build up to but is definitly possible and would likt to say my situation is improving

[Warwick]

I love medieval history and nature too. I'm naturally an introvert. You are the only person who can change your situation. People aren't gonna show up at your door like a pizza man wanting to be friends. You have to go out and find them. Change your reality, and find similar minded people. Forums like ours can help.

Thats awesome, yeah this forum is definitely a stepping stone for me, and seems like its helping become more out going. Seems like I shut down going out a lot, cause its hard to find people like me, Medievalist Catholics. But I wont met any if i dont try.

It's good you are here, friend.  I'm told the majority of trads are introverts, so you are in good company here.

Medieval history, eh?  ( my spouse is Canadian    )   Forum member "The Harlequin King" is our resident expert. Search his postings.   Here is his blog:
http://modernmedievalism.blogspot.com/

Also, here in the  'Coffee Pot' threads is a lot of light hearted banter conductive to brotherhood.  You're not alone, my friend.  We are your family.  You are part of the magnificent Catholic Church of Our Savior, His Body.

I really appreciate that, thats great and I am familiar with him and have read his stuff its interesting.   Yea, my focus is Chivalry and Medieval warfare but I love liturgy, the art, music culture etc.  That really means a lot and I could use light hearted right now.

Do you get lonely? There are lots of ways to combat loneliness. I get lonely sometimes, perhaps because I am not married (but then again married people get lonely also). Three weeks ago I was feeling very lonely. So I started writing an absurd fantasy story about a marriage in my free time. I have about thirty seven pages so far and it is more than halfway finished. I hope to finish it one day. Thinking about things and putting my thoughts down in the computer has made me feel better. Maybe you could write a story about chivalry. I don't think I am a very talented writer and I don't know if my story is any good, but is has been very therapeutic for me as a hobby. Just a suggestion. I also find that watching sad films and tragedies makes me feel less lonely. I remember one time when I was lonely because I knew I would probably never see a girl I had a crush on ever again, I played the Van Halen song "Jamie's Crying" a bunch of times in a row. Her name was Jamie. That helped. And of course you could also do the obvious and go to the social after Church and meet people in real life but that can be very difficult if you are shy and introverted. I know what it is like to be afraid of social interaction, especially with women. I know the social element of talking to similar people on the internet is one of the reasons I post on forums.

Very, I am writing a Chivalric Romance as a personal project, not sure about publishing but its helped me out a ton and helps give my life puropse, if its consultation, i just had my heart broken, I was deeply in love with this girl and we have been together for months and she dumped me out of no where. I was pondering marriage one day with her. I am Catholic and she is Atheist, but she never ever pushed me to do something against my religion. As devastating as its been, now that im single, its giving greater motivation to meet people. While her being Atheist didn't cause issues while were together, it definitely does now shes with someone else. I might as while say it, there fornicating and im here sad and alone trying to get over her. Had she been one that wanted to wait awhile to have sex, this im sure would of been a lot easier to deal with... But its fine, its over now, again its motivate me to get on this site and to meet people more like minded to me, so i can avoid such a devastating thing to happen again. Maybe it was destiny.

[Michael Wilson]

Warwick:
re. The atheist Witch: "Good riddance"! You will bless the day she left you.