I think part of the reason for scrupulosity...

[TandJ]

One of my children had a lesbian teacher in third grade.

Wait...... WHAT?

Where was the father?

If you are asking where was my husband he's the one who asked the priest what to do about it. We actually got the opinion of a couple good priests who all told us the same thing.

[james03]

Then I support your husband's decision.  The responsibility and authority for getting the kids and wife to heaven rests solely with the husband, unless the wife acts to sabotage the husband.  I disagree with the priest and advise parents not to normalize sodomy around their kids.  However your husband made his decision.  Your job is to obey and support your husband.  Which means don't worry about whether it was a sin, because for you, it is impossible to be a sin.  The responsibility for this decision rests with your husband alone, though in this case he obeyed a priest.  So even he is good to go.

[Daniel]

Then I support your husband's decision.  The responsibility and authority for getting the kids and wife to heaven rests solely with the husband, unless the wife acts to sabotage the husband.  I disagree with the priest and advise parents not to normalize sodomy around their kids.  However your husband made his decision.  Your job is to obey and support your husband.  Which means don't worry about whether it was a sin, because for you, it is impossible to be a sin.  The responsibility for this decision rests with your husband alone, though in this case he obeyed a priest.  So even he is good to go.

What?!

Responsibility does not rest solely on the higher divinely-appointed authority. And the lower cannot simply pass the blame upwards, and be off the hook. All who go along with it are participants in the sin and therefore guilty of the sin. The hand is damned along with the head, after all. (Though in this case, I don't really see a sin. Lesbian teachers are certainly not the ideal, but many things are not ideal. So long as the teacher wasn't open about it in front of the kids, it doesn't appear to be any more of an issue than having some other not-ideal person as a teacher.)

[Armor of Light]

I just want to raise my kids normally

Well, that's good to know.  So if you want to do that let's define "normal":

Normal girls are no longer virgins by 18.
Normal girls support abortion.
If you add single moms to barren women, that is greater than 50%.
Normal girls end up on anti-depressants.
Normal girls don't marry before 30, if at all.
Normal girls think sodomy and fags are just another option.
Normal girls think a boy calling himself a girl is sane.
Normal girls are ardent socialist/fascist/statist to some degree.
Normal girls get tatted up.
Normal girls have a body count over 20, if not 50.
Normal girls end up becoming obese.
Normal girls can't pair bond and end up divorced if they can find a simp to marry her.
Normal girls, if they become moms, work and kennel their kids in strangercare.
Normal girls cuss like sailors.

It's a long list if you want to properly train your kids to be normal.  But there's a lot of help.  Give them a smart phone and a netflix subscription and they'll be trained properly.

Do I have your attention?  Normal is demonic today.  Now, we have a problem with the pendulem swinging to extremes.  On one hand is the demonic beliefs everywhere, and this side is dangerous to women because they are hyper conformists and don't want to be ostracized by team girl.  The other side are the bunker Trads.  This side thinks I'm an evil man because I would take Trad teens swing dancing.  Of course all of that cohort are now married with kids and still Trad, except one late blooming former bunker Trad, though he actually got engaged at one time.

So find priests and a chapel that have found the virtuous mean.   There should be socializing and fun outside of the religious ceremonies.  However, I never completely reject the bunker Trads because the greatest danger today is what you call "normal".  But they are not without fault because a number of their kids turn 18, announce everyone is crazy, and lose the Faith.  Find the virtuous means.

And dressing your little kids in tights only (why not add a skirt?) is slut training for high school.  The bunker Trad was correct with that.  Beach and pool?  They are fine as a family outing.

James. Hello.
I do not post often. I'm not an author. I have not worked in oil fields.

Do a list for normal boys now.
I'm 55 now and I've tried to get a fix on what 'normal' is for a reasonable adult for some time.

The list for the girls is sadly accurate, but I think the [rejection by the group of girls] starts to separate polite normal from trashy normal. Polite normal people are all around. I realize 85% of what they believe is a lie, but almost all of the "best" people lost the ability to form a deep thought long ago.

I'll recommend Sheed's "Theology and Sanity" to the OP. He really gives a reasonable perspective on our [individual] place in all this sin business.

[Gardener]

Then I support your husband's decision.  The responsibility and authority for getting the kids and wife to heaven rests solely with the husband, unless the wife acts to sabotage the husband.  I disagree with the priest and advise parents not to normalize sodomy around their kids.  However your husband made his decision.  Your job is to obey and support your husband.  Which means don't worry about whether it was a sin, because for you, it is impossible to be a sin.  The responsibility for this decision rests with your husband alone, though in this case he obeyed a priest.  So even he is good to go.

What?!

Responsibility does not rest solely on the higher divinely-appointed authority. And the lower cannot simply pass the blame upwards, and be off the hook. All who go along with it are participants in the sin and therefore guilty of the sin. The hand is damned along with the head, after all. (Though in this case, I don't really see a sin. Lesbian teachers are certainly not the ideal, but many things are not ideal. So long as the teacher wasn't open about it in front of the kids, it doesn't appear to be any more of an issue than having some other not-ideal person as a teacher.)

Being a prudential decision, James is correct. If the husband were to command sin, then you would be correct and the husband's authority, in that instance, would be null.

[TandJ]

Well thank you and that info supports what another holy Priest told me one time when I worried whether I was too sick to attend Mass or not. He told me if my husband said I too sick was then I should stay home. This relieves me to have to not worry about this kind of stuff. My husband has already forbidden me from listening to certain Catholic YouTubers because they can cause anxiety or stress about the state of the Church, but to stick to Charles Coulombe and other reasonable and generally joyful Catholics. His conscience is certainly more reliable than mine

[james03]

Do a list for normal boys now.

I'll give it a whirl:

Normal boys are addicted to porn.
Normal boys are addicted to video games.
Normal boys have never been in a fight.
Normal boys can't bench press their body weight by the time they graduate high school.
Normal boys don't lead women in a relationship.
Normal boys are friend zoned by girls.
Normal boys don't know how to change a tire or change the oil on a car.
Normal boys have never been hunting or fishing.
Normal boys turn up their nose at choice North Carolina leaf.

If you don't want your boy to turn out "normal", an embarrassingly low priced book with the award winning cover (winning "Troll of the Decade") is available on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Catholic-Red-Pill-Guide-Men/dp/1708960694/

[james03]

I'm 55 now and I've tried to get a fix on what 'normal' is for a reasonable adult for some time.

Going to Church and saying your prayers.
Spoiling grand babies if you have any.
Catfishing or bass fishing with a buddy.
Working on your car or in your shop.
Gardening.
Responsible enjoyment of adult beverages.
Riding motorcycles.
Avoiding females and their feminine wiles. 

[MundaCorMeum]

I'm 55 now and I've tried to get a fix on what 'normal' is for a reasonable adult for some time.

Going to Church and saying your prayers.
Spoiling grand babies if you have any.
Catfishing or bass fishing with a buddy.
Working on your car or in your shop.
Gardening.
Responsible enjoyment of adult beverages.
Riding motorcycles.
Avoiding females and their feminine wiles.

You forgot one...

still raising babies in your forties 

*Note: I'm not *technically* in my forties, but I will be soon, and my youngest is not even two, so....

[Non Nobis]

Do a list for normal boys now.

I'll give it a whirl:

Normal boys are addicted to porn.
Normal boys are addicted to video games.
Normal boys have never been in a fight.
Normal boys can't bench press their body weight by the time they graduate high school.
Normal boys don't lead women in a relationship.
Normal boys are friend zoned by girls.
Normal boys don't know how to change a tire or change the oil on a car.
Normal boys have never been hunting or fishing.
Normal boys turn up their nose at choice North Carolina leaf.

If you don't want your boy to turn out "normal", an embarrassingly low priced book with the award winning cover (winning "Troll of the Decade") is available on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Catholic-Red-Pill-Guide-Men/dp/1708960694/

I hate the way people take try to take over the beautiful word "normal" to mean its opposite when that is statistically average. Good (of all kind) beauty and truth were the norm in nature and in man before the fall. Some abnormality crept in as punishment - mental and physical illness and deformity. But evil men promote sin, moral abnormalities, ugliness and lies, making them average and then claiming they are "normal".

[Jayne]

I'm 55 now and I've tried to get a fix on what 'normal' is for a reasonable adult for some time.

Going to Church and saying your prayers.
Spoiling grand babies if you have any.
Catfishing or bass fishing with a buddy.
Working on your car or in your shop.
Gardening.
Responsible enjoyment of adult beverages.
Riding motorcycles.
Avoiding females and their feminine wiles.

You forgot one...

still raising babies in your forties 

*Note: I'm not *technically* in my forties, but I will be soon, and my youngest is not even two, so....

I had my last child (#7) a few weeks before my 43rd birthday.  Seven years later my first grandchild was born.  I now have 10 grandchildren and am likely to have more.  None of this would have been at all remarkable in most periods of human history, but few people think of this as "normal" now. 

I really like the distinction that Non Nobis is making between statistical norms and moral norms.

[Armor of Light]

I'm 55 now and I've tried to get a fix on what 'normal' is for a reasonable adult for some time.

Going to Church and saying your prayers.
Spoiling grand babies if you have any.
Catfishing or bass fishing with a buddy.
Working on your car or in your shop.
Gardening.
Responsible enjoyment of adult beverages.
Riding motorcycles.
Avoiding females and their feminine wiles.

Good work friend.
I'm somewhat reasonable.

I hope everyone goes through the lists and checks off things. Good or bad, we all check some boxes. All I can hope for some days is that my (4) children witness the perseverance of their parents authentic journey. I have difficulty with almost anyone who went to church non stop from childhood through adulthood. Little old ladies in adoration being a notable exception. I have trouble with non-catholics because I'm blunt and don't listen to their non-truths without retort. At least with the huddled masses of sad existence (normal listers)...that hole that only God can fill isn't filled yet. A lot of those struggles point them in the right direction someday.

The OP/Scrupulosity problem is real for cradle catholics, too I think.

Other than living by example (reasonable adult list), how do we live in today's church? Parish life? That is all that is reasonably available to me, and to the vast majority of the <100% of Catholics who go to mass.

[Elizabeth.2]

Well thank you and that info supports what another holy Priest told me one time when I worried whether I was too sick to attend Mass or not. He told me if my husband said I too sick was then I should stay home. This relieves me to have to not worry about this kind of stuff. My husband has already forbidden me from listening to certain Catholic YouTubers because they can cause anxiety or stress about the state of the Church, but to stick to Charles Coulombe and other reasonable and generally joyful Catholics. His conscience is certainly more reliable than mine

Charles Coulombe is an occultist who does online Tarot Readings, and is an apologist for actual witches.

That might be the source of confusion right there.   

[Gardener]

Well thank you and that info supports what another holy Priest told me one time when I worried whether I was too sick to attend Mass or not. He told me if my husband said I too sick was then I should stay home. This relieves me to have to not worry about this kind of stuff. My husband has already forbidden me from listening to certain Catholic YouTubers because they can cause anxiety or stress about the state of the Church, but to stick to Charles Coulombe and other reasonable and generally joyful Catholics. His conscience is certainly more reliable than mine

Charles Coulombe is an occultist who does online Tarot Readings, and is an apologist for actual witches.

That might be the source of confusion right there.   

I've never understood looking to laity for spiritual and moral formation, regardless of their YouTube views or how they come across.

Information on things which are ancillary, I get. I mean, we are all here on this forum. But in general, moral, theological, and spiritual formation should come from one's priest, good spiritual writers, etc.

Anyone looking to laity to form their spiritual worldview are in for a real disappointment.

[Non Nobis]

Well thank you and that info supports what another holy Priest told me one time when I worried whether I was too sick to attend Mass or not. He told me if my husband said I too sick was then I should stay home. This relieves me to have to not worry about this kind of stuff. My husband has already forbidden me from listening to certain Catholic YouTubers because they can cause anxiety or stress about the state of the Church, but to stick to Charles Coulombe and other reasonable and generally joyful Catholics. His conscience is certainly more reliable than mine

Charles Coulombe is an occultist who does online Tarot Readings, and is an apologist for actual witches.

That might be the source of confusion right there.   

I've never understood looking to laity for spiritual and moral formation, regardless of their YouTube views or how they come across.

Information on things which are ancillary, I get. I mean, we are all here on this forum. But in general, moral, theological, and spiritual formation should come from one's priest, good spiritual writers, etc.

Anyone looking to laity to form their spiritual worldview are in for a real disappointment.

TandJ looked to her holy priest but then was directed reasonably to her husband and from there to dangerous laity Coulombe.  I would be getting more confused.

Do all trads' own priests have enough wisdom, knowledge, and time to handle every difficulty causing scruples in some trads in these bizarre unCatholic times? Some people have trouble talking to some priests, and don't do as well as others in getting help that makes sense to them.

So they listen online to good priests, but the advise is not indivualized and might make some people too scrupulous. Or they listen to priests who are not so good, or to laity.

Good books are great but also need to be selected wisely.

Forums have a place; not for individual judgement or spiritual direction, but for helping people understand what they should learn mainly from real Catholic authorities (where they get their general formation, as you said).

Unfortunately confusion and error creeps into forums along with real help. But  there is real help too.

Pray for light. Trust in God's mercy in confession.