Why women lose the dating game

[erin is nice]

Being shy and sensitive to others opinions holds a lot of people back. 

This is so very true. 

[Vetus Ordo]

"In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands: that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives. Considering your chaste conversation with fear. Whose adorning let it not be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: But the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and a meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:

As Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, doing well, and not fearing any disturbance. Ye husbands, likewise dwelling with them according to knowledge, giving honour to the female as to the weaker vessel, and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered. And in fine, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, being lovers of the brotherhood, merciful, modest, humble: Not rendering evil for evil, nor railing for railing, but contrariwise, blessing: for unto this are you called, that you may inherit a blessing."

Any resemblance to modern conceptions of marriage, love and marital roles is pure coincidence.

[kayla_veronica]

Dude, are you seriously referring to women as numbers on a rating scale? Even if you're joking it's not appropriate. Fortunately, it will also make women hate you.

I'm referencing it for the article, because that's what most people do. Their initial first impression of someone is their aesthetic appearance, and I'm not trying to offend people, just pointing out the reality that most people's first impression of someone is how they look on a 1-10 scale. That's just reality. Women do the same to men, so it goes both ways.

Why would it be fortunate that women hate me? That's a very cold thing to say. I am just giving an example from the article to reality of how modern people think. We're all guilty of it.

I don't think that is true. Sure everyone notices attractiveness, but I seriously doubt that everyone put it's to a scale and then calls that person a "7" or a "5" or whatever. I think that the number ranking is a carryover from the secular culture that came about with movies like American Pie that holds sex as priority #1. 

If you were to get married, would you tell your friends you snagged a 9? I surely hope not.

[kayla_veronica]

Men are very physical and visual, as a general rule -- so it's no shock to me that they assign numeric values to women based on their looks.  Now, I don't think they should walk up to women and tell them they are a 2 or something, but I don't blame them for thinking it and even using that system when talking to other men.

Since they are more physical and visual.... wouldn't it make more sense for them to use adjectives instead of numbers? Numbers reduce the person they are talking about in to something that is not human (at least on the surface). Words like "cute," "pretty," "sexy," or "beautiful," can be categories without ranking. Also they are more accurate as I'm sure everyone has a different picture of what each number would mean.

Another big problem I see with the scale is that it could prevent men from being wholly satisfied with the woman they end up with. What is the pictured "10?" I would venture to guess that it is some type of model or celebrity; these people do not exist in the real world. 

[kayla_veronica]

Oh and a PS:

People like to throw around the word feminist a lot and that sucks. The Church holds men and women as equal, although recognizing the different roles and natures of the two. One can ask for equality in terms of respect without forsaking her nature and role in society.

[Magnificat]

When discussing what comes naturally to people, I think it's important to remember that nature is fallen. Not everything that comes naturally is to be embraced as though original sin and its consequences don't exist. Many things must be overcome and uplifted to the supernatural.

I believe it is natural and instinctive to notice if someone is attractive or not. I think it happens so quickly and automatically that many don't even notice they do it. However once it becomes a standard by which people measure each other's worth, which is usually the mentality behind the numbers game, it crosses a line from automatic human reaction to conscious fostering of sinful tendencies, whether it ends in lusting after a 10 or denigrating a 1 or even no outright sin, just a gradual loss of respect for others. It doesn't matter if they never meet that person or have any relationship with them, those men are still developing their own characters and it impacts them personally in a negative way. It is not a habit I would encourage my sons to develop, even keeping in mind that finding a wife who is attractive to them is a good and healthy pursuit. Women can be attractive, or not, but I'd hope they'd leave it at that.   

[Penelope]

When discussing what comes naturally to people, I think it's important to remember that nature is fallen. Not everything that comes naturally is to be embraced as though original sin and its consequences don't exist. Many things must be overcome and uplifted to the supernatural.

I believe it is natural and instinctive to notice if someone is attractive or not. I think it happens so quickly and automatically that many don't even notice they do it. However once it becomes a standard by which people measure each other's worth, which is usually the mentality behind the numbers game, it crosses a line from automatic human reaction to conscious fostering of sinful tendencies, whether it ends in lusting after a 10 or denigrating a 1 or even no outright sin, just a gradual loss of respect for others. It doesn't matter if they never meet that person or have any relationship with them, those men are still developing their own characters and it impacts them personally in a negative way. It is not a habit I would encourage my sons to develop, even keeping in mind that finding a wife who is attractive to them is a good and healthy pursuit. Women can be attractive, or not, but I'd hope they'd leave it at that.

Yes, this x 1000.

[phnuggle]

When discussing what comes naturally to people, I think it's important to remember that nature is fallen. Not everything that comes naturally is to be embraced as though original sin and its consequences don't exist. Many things must be overcome and uplifted to the supernatural.

I believe it is natural and instinctive to notice if someone is attractive or not. I think it happens so quickly and automatically that many don't even notice they do it. However once it becomes a standard by which people measure each other's worth, which is usually the mentality behind the numbers game, it crosses a line from automatic human reaction to conscious fostering of sinful tendencies, whether it ends in lusting after a 10 or denigrating a 1 or even no outright sin, just a gradual loss of respect for others. It doesn't matter if they never meet that person or have any relationship with them, those men are still developing their own characters and it impacts them personally in a negative way. It is not a habit I would encourage my sons to develop, even keeping in mind that finding a wife who is attractive to them is a good and healthy pursuit. Women can be attractive, or not, but I'd hope they'd leave it at that.

Well said.

[Ben]

Yeah, thin man-fat woman conventions. There are thin men who find fat women attractive. Not many though, and they tend not to be very attractive thin men. And why do you call them "big women." Is there something that offends your feminist sensibilities about "fat women."

Yes I find the word fat offensive, unless it's describing a baby. I teach my children not to call people fat, so why would I say it myself?

You need to lighten up. Fat people call fat people fat people.

[Ben]

I'm annoyed with ugly people who think they're good looking. It suggests a pathological lack of self-perception.

You're being ironic, right? Because this is the ugliest thing anyone could have written.

#weuglypeopleneedlovetoo

Already answered.

[OCLittleFlower]

Since they are more physical and visual.... wouldn't it make more sense for them to use adjectives instead of numbers? Numbers reduce the person they are talking about in to something that is not human (at least on the surface). Words like "cute," "pretty," "sexy," or "beautiful," can be categories without ranking. Also they are more accurate as I'm sure everyone has a different picture of what each number would mean.

Men are also more math minded than women, so I think numbers come more naturally than words for them at times.  Numbers might make more sense than saying "kinda cute."

Another big problem I see with the scale is that it could prevent men from being wholly satisfied with the woman they end up with. What is the pictured "10?" I would venture to guess that it is some type of model or celebrity; these people do not exist in the real world.

I don't think that getting rid of the numbers would prevent disappointment.  In fact, I think it's a good thing for men to be honest about what they can accept.

[erin is nice]

You need to lighten up. Fat people call fat people fat people.

Calling people fat is rude. Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

[OCLittleFlower]

You need to lighten up. Fat people call fat people fat people.

Calling people fat is rude. Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

Yes, calling someone fat is rude.  Talking about the fact that there is such a thing as people who are fat is not rude.  IMO, this thread has kept it general (or referred to a specific woman that other posters have no way of knowing).

[Ben]

You are overly concerned with looks. Hence, you are overly offended at a man describing some woman as fat. If she's, fat she's fat. Nothing I can do about it. If I was a fat woman I would dislike being called a big woman.

[Ben]

Being fat is not the end of the world. I've seen fat women I found attractive. Back in the day I found Carnie Wilson and Rikki Lake attractive.