Dating a non-Catholic

Started by UA1997, May 22, 2013, 10:27:45 PM

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OCLittleFlower

#15
May 23, 2013, 11:42:58 AM
Quote from: erin is nice on May 23, 2013, 08:20:06 AM
Quote from: Mithrandylan on May 23, 2013, 07:02:32 AM
Better meet her first, if you haven't.  At least once.  Might want to make sure she's not an uggo before you lose too much sleep over her.

The fact that she's not Catholic is far more important than looks. Even if she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, you shouldn't date a non-Catholic.

Very shallow, Mith.

Except that -- and this is nothing against this particular person, but has happened online -- if she is posting pictures of someone else and/or otherwise lying about her looks, that's a character issue.  And then the OP would have an unattractive, non-Catholic who lies.   :tongue:

He also has to rule out the idea of citizenship marriage -- and I'm saying that as the wife of a non-citizen who was NOT duped.  But duping does happen.
-- currently writing a Trad romance entitled Flirting with Sedevacantism --

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Bonaventure

#16
May 23, 2013, 12:04:05 PM
That's the thing. No one wants a Manti Teo situation.
Put not your trust in princes, in sons of men in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to his earth; on that very day his plans perish.

OCLittleFlower

#17
May 23, 2013, 12:10:28 PM
Quote from: Bonaventure on May 23, 2013, 12:04:05 PM
That's the thing. No one wants a Manti Teo situation.

Yeah.

And don't take it personally, OP, my own husband was warned about that by the guys at the office when he went to meet me in person after chatting online, etc.
-- currently writing a Trad romance entitled Flirting with Sedevacantism --

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piabee

#18
May 23, 2013, 12:36:44 PM
Duping is less likely with Skype. But Skyping is still a far cry from spending time together in person. I agree with everyone that the OP should take a step back before getting seriously involved.

OCLittleFlower

#19
May 23, 2013, 01:04:32 PM
Quote from: piabee on May 23, 2013, 12:36:44 PM
Duping is less likely with Skype. But Skyping is still a far cry from spending time together in person. I agree with everyone that the OP should take a step back before getting seriously involved.

The citizenship form of duping could still occur via skype.
-- currently writing a Trad romance entitled Flirting with Sedevacantism --

???? ?? ?????? ????????? ???, ?? ?????.

Heinrich

#20
May 23, 2013, 04:33:55 PM
Sounds like a scam. Be careful.
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.

Mithrandylan

#21
May 23, 2013, 04:52:40 PM
Quote from: Bonaventure on May 23, 2013, 12:04:05 PM
That's the thing. No one wants a Manti Teo situation.

Quite right, this is what I was thinking of when I posted as I did.

Meet her.  Take her out somewhere.  Get her to drink a lot of something.  Then see which bathroom she goes to.  If the sign in front of the door doesn't have a stick figure in a dress, you've got problems.
Ps 135

Quia in humilitáte nostra memor fuit nostri: * quóniam in ætérnum misericórdia eius.
Et redémit nos ab inimícis nostris: * quóniam in ætérnum misericórdia eius.
Qui dat escam omni carni: * quóniam in ætérnum misericórdia eius.
Confitémini Deo cæli: * quóniam in ætérnum misericórdia eius.
Confitémini Dómino dominórum: * quóniam in ætérnum misericórdia eius.

For he was mindful of us in our affliction: * for his mercy endureth for ever.
And he redeemed us from our enemies: * for his mercy endureth for ever.
Who giveth food to all flesh: * for his mercy endureth for ever.
Give glory to the God of heaven: * for his mercy endureth for ever.
Give glory to the Lord of lords: * for his mercy endureth for ever.

-I retract any and all statements I have made that are incongruent with the True Faith, and apologize for ever having made them-

Gottmitunsalex

#22
May 23, 2013, 07:01:28 PM
Quote from: Mithrandylan on May 23, 2013, 04:52:40 PM
Quote from: Bonaventure on May 23, 2013, 12:04:05 PM
That's the thing. No one wants a Manti Teo situation.

Quite right, this is what I was thinking of when I posted as I did.

Meet her.  Take her out somewhere.  Get her to drink a lot of something.  Then see which bathroom she goes to.  If the sign in front of the door doesn't have a stick figure in a dress, you've got problems.
LOL
"Nothing is more miserable than those people who never failed to attack their own salvation. When there was need to observe the Law, they trampled it under foot. Now that the Law has ceased to bind, they obstinately strive to observe it. What could be more pitiable that those who provoke God not only by transgressing the Law but also by keeping it? But at any rate the Jews say that they, too, adore God. God forbid that I say that. No Jew adores God! Who say so? The Son of God say so. For he said: "If you were to know my Father, you would also know me. But you neither know me nor do you know my Father". Could I produce a witness more trustworthy than the Son of God?"  St. John Chrysostom  Sunday Homily

"The two goals of the Jews: The universal domination of the world and the destruction of Catholicism, out of hatred for Christ" --Mgr. Jouin

Der Kaiser

#23
May 23, 2013, 08:06:51 PM
Pray for her conversion, remain friends and teach her about the faith in small ways. DO NOT put all of your hopes in her. It is very possible that she is not the one for you. IF so you will find the right one someday. Let her know hoe you feel and if she cant accept that after a while it is time to let go and look for the one for lack of a better term "meant for you". Good luck and God Bless.
"If a Pope changes the rites of the sacraments he puts himself outside the Church and is Anathema"-Pope Innocent III

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of Anti-Christ"-Our Lady of La Sallette

The hebrews have not recognized the lord, therefore we can not recognize the hebrews.-St Pius X

UA1997

#24
May 23, 2013, 10:07:31 PM
I have seen her on skype and she is the person in her facebook pictures. We video chat almost every night. We are planning on meeting next month. I would hate to lose her since she is a great girl but this difference is not small. Moving on is easier said than done.

Gleipnir104

#25
May 23, 2013, 11:43:42 PM
A very fine sermon that pertains to this topic very much, delivered by a  holy SSPX priest, whose sermons never fail to engage his audience.

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Greg

#26
May 24, 2013, 02:42:11 AM
Quote from: UA1997 on May 23, 2013, 10:07:31 PM
I have seen her on skype and she is the person in her facebook pictures. We video chat almost every night. We are planning on meeting next month. I would hate to lose her since she is a great girl but this difference is not small. Moving on is easier said than done.

Your problem then is not this lady per se, but rather you.  You have not even met her yet and you are wondering whether you should marry her.  Try to be MATURE, calm and objective about it.  Keep a cool head.  Fly down, meet her, meet her family.  Stay for at least a couple of weeks so that she has the chance to begin to piss you off and if you cannot stay for that long then understand that you might still be using the "demo version" of the software, which always works better than the real experience.

You are young and we have all been there, captivated by our first, second or third loves, but realise a lot of what you are feeling about this lady is a fantasy construct.

Moving on is only hard if you believe your own imagination and cannot be calm and objective about this.  Some people cry when they have to sell their car, for goodness sake, because they bond with a piece of metal.

You have not met this woman yet.  Do not get ahead of yourself.
If I used a ouija board as a mouse mat would my desktop computer get repossessed?

LaramieHirsch

#27
May 25, 2013, 11:05:51 PM
Don't do it.  Marriage partners absolutely must have a mutual philosophy when it comes to religion if the marriage is going to work.  Trust me. 

Drop her and find someone else.  If she truly loves what you are, perhaps she will explore what makes you "you," and discover it's the Holy Spirit...and she converts anyway. 

But don't count on that last one.  Be an alpha and drop her, continuing your search elsewhere.
"Evil smells weakness, and the weak can smell evil."  -Me

"Silence is complicity."  -Me

"The most evident mark of God's anger, and the most terrible castigation He can inflict upon the world, is manifest when He permits His people to fall into the hands of a clergy who are more in name than in deed, priests who practice the cruelty of ravening wolves rather than the charity and affection of devoted shepherds. They abandon the things of God to devote themselves to the things of the world and, in their saintly calling of holiness, they spend their time in profane and worldly pursuits. When God permits such things, it is a very positive proof that He is thoroughly angry with His people and is visiting His most dreadful wrath upon them."

-Saint John Eudes

Mysterium Fidei

#28
May 26, 2013, 04:59:57 PM
As Catholics our Faith must come before all else. The first precondition for getting romantically involved with any young lady is that she be a practicing Traditional Catholic.

Our will must govern our passions and emotions, not the other way around. When we allow our emotions and sense passions govern our will the result is almost never good. I know that this principle is very difficult for young people to understand and follow. The world around them is screaming, "If it feels good, do it"! Just understand that many people who have made such important decisions as choosing a spouse based upon emotion live to regret it.

My personal opinion is that if she is adamant about not converting to the Faith, you should pray for her but move on. Don't waste any more energy on something irreconcilable.

Lirael

#29
June 06, 2013, 07:50:45 PM
Been there, done that. Save yourself a lot of heartache and misery and move on. We should never compromise on religious beliefs.
Why art thou sad, o my soul? And why dost thou disquiet me?
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