Comparison

[Chestertonian]

my secular therapist said i have towork on comparing myself to others especially people i dont even know

im not really sure how to do this.  i think i've been doing it since I was extremely young, it's hard not to when you have siblings and you can always hear your parents comparing you to your other siblings, or talking to other adults about you vs. your sisters and brothers...which kid was harder, which kid was easier...  my mom always had to explain to other parents that I was the older sibling even though my sister was bigger than me.  always seemed like there was a fixation on who did what first.  I was behind my siblings physically even though they were younger than me so it always seemed like there was a rush to get me caught up, and often I was literally pushing myself to catch up with them. 

I remember my mother said a lot of stuff like, "Why can't you be more like your sister, why can't you be more like your cousin."  And when my father used to criticize me, he was in a roundabout way saying, "Why do you have to be like you?  Why can't you be more like me?" So this time with our kids, I stressed to my wife, and my mother, and the nanny that I want to minimize the talk about comparisons.... I want my children to be able to live without constantly hearing about how they're smarter/better behaved/physically stronger/easier than the other sibling

now I find myself comparing myself with other Catholics and it's almost like it seems like God is always saying "Why cant you be more like your sister??"  "Why can't you be more like your brother?"  It's easy to look at other people/families and think about how blessed they are to be living a life that is pleasing to God, having lots of children, everyone is physically strong, everyone is neurotypical, naturally happy types. and i often think about how God must love them so much more than He loves my family. 

I compare myself to people who arent converts, who have rich family traditions for holidays and a strong family culture that can only come from having lots of time together and lots of children.  it seems like that is so pleasing to God and I worry He isnt pleased with my famly

Or the nurses who come in and take care of me... they come in, get paid to deal with me, and then they go home and they dont have to deal with me anymore.  i always imagine them going home and complaining to their spouse/friends about how much they hate working with me, I know that is what nurses do in the breakroom all the time because I overhear the conversations and such in front of me and i cant imagine how much worse it is in the breakroom.  gallows humor and all that.  i often am jealous of them because they have freedom and they can leavewhereas im stuck here.  I worry that they resent caring for me or that they're repulsedbyme and I worry that they want to hurt me or worse

whenever I hear people talking about going to Mass or adoration it's hard because I always imagine that God must love them so much, he must specifically want THEM in his presence, it's like He invited them to Mass personally but I never got an invitation because i got knocked off the guest list and it's hard not to take that personally.  You can make a spiritual communion but it's not the same.  You can watch Mass on TV but it's not the same.  It doesn't seem like He has the same love for me.

There's also the association between holiness and happiness I struggle with feeling like God doesn't love me as much as those who are mentally healthy, neutotypucsl, etc

People with abilities can do so much more to please God.  They can work, they can have more children, they can become priests, lead movements, build up families, build with their hands, make music... The less you can do the less you can do for God... the less you can do the less pleasing you are in the hierarchy of things


  i cant even list all the things i struggle with comparison about... Just seems like everyone else is worth more to God because they do more they do it better and God judges us according to our deeds.... The world is a hierarchy and some have more dignity than others and I am at the bottom

I know that God DOES love some more than other sso maybe this is all just part of His plan and His way ofshowing me that I'm not as loved as others and he wants me to be humble enough to accept that, but it's just hard to accept and I don't know how.

[St.Justin]

What is a Victim Soul? Witnesses to the mystery of redemptive suffering. Gerald Korson The Catholic Answer
2/19/2009   

To speak of certain holy individuals whom we collectively call "victim souls" takes us into territory that many Christians often fail to understand: the redemptive power of human suffering.

A victim soul is an individual who has been chosen by God to undergo physical, and sometimes spiritual, suffering beyond that of normal human experience. The victim soul willingly accepts this unique and difficult mission of offering up his or her pains for the salvation of others.

Although Jesus Christ accomplished our redemption once and for all by suffering torture and crucifixion for our sins, Scripture also affirms the value of human suffering. Christ points to this value himself when He says, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me" (Mk 8:34).

Perhaps more pointedly, St. Paul writes that we are "heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him" (Rom 8:17).

Universal human experience affirms that the crosses some people bear are much heavier than our own. The pains of this life -- or, to put it positively, the opportunities for redemptive suffering -- are not distributed equally or even proportionately among humanity.

Yet Scripture also assures us that we are capable of carrying whatever cross God asks of us. We will receive strength to endure whatever comes our way (see 1 Cor 10:13).

St. Paul's own example gives clear witness to the possibility of "offering up" our suffering for the benefit of others when he declares, "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church" (Col 1:24).

Our own suffering takes on a redemptive dimension when we unite it with the passion of Christ.
Suffering and Redemption

In his apostolic letter Salvifici Doloris (1984), which deals with human suffering and redemption, Pope John Paul II described the relationship between the two realities:

"The Redeemer suffered in place of man and for man. Every man has his own share in the Redemption. Each one is also called to share in that suffering through which the Redemption was accomplished. He is called to share in that suffering through which all human suffering has also been redeemed.

"In bringing about the Redemption through suffering, Christ has alsoraised human suffering to the level of the Redemption. Thus each man, in his suffering, can also be-come a sharer in the redemptive suffering of Christ" (No. 19, italics in original).

In the victim soul, such redemptive suffering takes on an intense, personal form, a gift of grace that is often accompanied by mystical phenomena.

Take, for example, the life of the Spaniard Sister Josefa Menendez (1890-1923), of the Order of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. She experienced a number of visions and locutions, along with seasons of excruciating physical and spiritual pain.

According to her diary, published under the title "The Way of Divine Love," Sister Josefa was asked by Jesus to be a victim soul, a role she described this way:

"To be a victim necessarily implies immolation, and as a rule, atonement for another.

"Although strictly speaking one can offer oneself as a victim to give God joy and glory by voluntary sacrifice, yet for the most part God leads souls by that path only when He intends them to act as mediators: they have to suffer and expiate for those for whom their immolation will be profitable; either by drawing down graces of forgiveness on them, or by acting as a cloak to cover their sins in the face of divine justice.

"It stands to reason that no one will on his own initiative take such a role on himself. Divine consent is required before a soul dares to intervene between God and His creature. There would be no value in such an offering if God refused to hear the prayer."
The Stigmata

Those who may not be familiar with the term "victim soul" may nevertheless have heard of one of its most spectacular forms: the stigmata, the crucifixion wounds of Christ, which typically appear on the body of the victim soul as bloody and unhealed wounds on the palms, feet, side or forehead.

Some stigmatists have been known to suffer periodically the crucifixion of Christ in a mystical way, bleeding and writhing in pain in a real-time experience of His passion and death.

Some have suffered the "invisible stigmata," experiencing the pains of Our Lord's passion without the apparent physical wounds.

St. Paul told the Galatians: "I bear the marks of Jesus on my body" (Gal 6:17). Though he may well have simply been referring to the scars of multiple floggings he had received for the Lord's sake, some biblical commentators have speculated that the apostle may actually have borne the stigmata.

In any case, the first confirmed case of a stigmatist, and certainly the best known, is that of St. Francis of Assisi. He received the five wounds of Christ after a vision in 1224, two years before his death.

To date, 62 canonized saints and blesseds of the Church are known to have had the stigmata, and at least two dozen other claims of stigmata were reported in the 19th and 20th centuries.

Some examples of stigmatists of the past century:

St. Faustina Kowalska (1905-1938), the "Apostle of Divine Mercy," suffered the "hidden stigmata," the pains of crucifixion without the physical wounds, and offered up much pain and spiritual torment for the sake of sinners.

St. Pio of Pietrelcina (1887-1968), a Capuchin priest, was of poor health most of his life. He was a stigmatist who frequently was attacked by the devil both physically and spiritually, suffering intense pain of both body and soul.

Yet he was also a much sought-after confessor who could see inside a penitent's soul and was credited with healings even during his lifetime. Bilocation, ecstasy and levitation were among the miraculous and mystical experiences associated with Padre Pio.

Theresa Neumann (1898-1962), bedridden with partial paralysis at age 20, received the stigmata in stages beginning in 1926. She had visions of Christ's passion and experienced pain and wounds consistent with the crowning of thorns and crucifixion.

She reportedly bled from the hands, head and eyes during her Passion episodes, which were said to be at their worst every Good Friday.

Marthe Robin (1902-1981) was completely paralyzed by the age of 28. Incredibly, at 25 she was no longer able to take food, and at 26 she could not sip water. For the last half-century of her life, Robin survived solely upon the weekly Eucharist.

Immediately upon receiving the sacred Host, she would enter a mystical experience, or ecstasy, of the passion of Christ. The stigmata and the wounds of scourging and the crown of thorns would appear on her body.

Robin also was able to read a person's soul, enabling her to give excellent spiritual advice, and she seemed to have very specific knowledge of events happening far from her.

Alexandrina de Costa (1904-1955), severely injured at 14 when she leaped out a window to avoid a rape at her home in Portugal, soon came to understand her suffering as her special vocation. By 25 she was completely paralyzed and spent all her time in prayer.

From 1938 to 1942, she suffered the mystical passion of Christ every Friday afternoon for three hours, during which time she would be able to move freely. Like Marthe Robin, she lived on the Eucharist alone for the last 13 years of her life.
Are We Obliged to Believe?

The Catholic Church does not officially designate anyone as a victim soul. The term stems, rather, from the testimony of those who have encountered Christians who seem to undergo the kind of redemptive suffering we have described.

The victim-soul status, even when it is genuine, is a matter of private revelation. Consequently, the Church teaches us that we are not obliged to accept, as part of the Catholic faith, the legitimacy of any particular person for whom such a claim is made, nor the genuineness of any mystical or miraculous claims that have been made in connection with such a person.

This includes even those people whose private revelations have been approved by the Church. (See the Catechism of the Catholic Church on this subject, No. 67).

Nevertheless, the fundamental spiritual truth -- illustrated so vividly by the notion of a victim soul -- still remains: We can accept the pain and suffering of this life with patience and love for the intentions and benefit of ourselves and others in the Communion of Saints. TCA

Gerald Korson, an editor and Catholic journalist for more than 25 years, writes from Indiana.

https://www.osv.com/todaysissues/article/tabid/599/artmid/13753/articleid/10338/what-is-a-victim-soul.aspx

[Carleendiane]

Dear Ches, as a loving parent, I never expect more from a child than they are ABLE to give. And you must.know,  God is infinitely better than me.Our God is STUPID if He expects the same from the disabled as the able bodied. And, being God, we know HE is not STUPID. WE are stupid. Especially if we expect the same from everyone, not at all taking into account a person's ABILITY. WHY in the world do you consistently sell GOD short? Short on wisdom, compassion, empathy, understanding, kindness and love. Constantly, you expect HIM to see you and expect from you, that which you cannot give. Always, in your eyes, God is an unresonable God. Church teaching speaks to the ORDINARY man. Not to the man that operates in very unordinary conditions. Oh, Ches, no matter what you've experienced from nurses, doctors, caregivers, parents, GOD is infinitely better. A God that knows ALL is a God that also knows your limits and abilities. He knows them perfectly. He knows YOU perfectly. Please, give GOD His due. You think HE doesn't know why you have a small family? Or why you aren't out there tinkering under the hood of your car? Or why your sweet wife has been working outside of the home? Ches, you are not being logical. A person of simple intelligence knows the disabled are just THAT....dis-abled. So what applies to the healthy does not apply to the dis-abled. At least in the ways you expressed. Please, acknowledge that God can figure out what even a simple mind can. Again, He does NOT expect the impossible from us. Therefore, He has established the issue of culpability. Your culpability is subject to your ability, only.

[Chestertonian]

Alexandrina de Costa (1904-1955), severely injured at 14 when she leaped out a window to avoid a rape at her home in Portugal, soon came to understand her suffering as her special vocation. By 25 she was completely paralyzed and spent all her time in prayer.

this is the sort of thing i wonder about a lot.... the standard God holds us to.  If she didnt jump out of a window would she have been culpable?  there are so many saints that did these things, choosing death over rape.  it does seem like ths is the standard God holds us to.  that it is better to die.  it seems like sexual assault survivors have no place in the church, other than to die, or be better off dead.  There is no guidance from the church on LIVING with the effects of sexual assault which is especially infuriating considering that so many of  Her priests have inflicted it upon countless children, and yet where can these children turn?  they are directed to pray to St. Maria Goretti, who died rather than endure what these children endured. 

sorry this is another thing that iworry about constantly

Dear Ches, as a loving parent, I never expect more from a child than they are ABLE to give. And you must.know,  God is infinitely better than me.Our God is STUPID if He expects the same from the disabled as the able bodied. And, being God, we know HE is not STUPID. WE are stupid. Especially if we expect the same from everyone, not at all taking into account a person's ABILITY. WHY in the world do you consistently sell GOD short? Short on wisdom, compassion, empathy, understanding, kindness and love. Constantly, you expect HIM to see you and expect from you, that which you cannot give. Always, in your eyes, God is an unresonable God. Church teaching speaks to the ORDINARY man. Not to the man that operates in very unordinary conditions. Oh, Ches, no matter what you've experienced from nurses, doctors, caregivers, parents, GOD is infinitely better. A God that knows ALL is a God that also knows your limits and abilities. He knows them perfectly. He knows YOU perfectly. Please, give GOD His due. You think HE doesn't know why you have a small family? Or why you aren't out there tinkering under the hood of your car? Or why your sweet wife has been working outside of the home? Ches, you are not being logical. A person of simple intelligence knows the disabled are just THAT....dis-abled. So what applies to the healthy does not apply to the dis-abled. At least in the ways you expressed. Please, acknowledge that God can figure out what even a simple mind can. Again, He does NOT expect the impossible from us. Therefore, He has established the issue of culpability. Your culpability is subject to your ability, only.

culpability seems so subjective....there's no way to *know* in this life whether or not we are culpable for things that happen to us, or not being able to do things.  It might turn out that I'm not culpable but who knows...  what if I am?  the only one knows what I am capable of is God...but i think because the church speaks to the ordinary man, it seems like the church doesnt speak to those whose circumstances that arent ordinary.  there is just dead silence.... no "Catholic man's guide to slowly wasting away"

[Kreuzritter]

If she didnt jump out of a window would she have been culpable?  there are so many saints that did these things, choosing death over rape.  it does seem like ths is the standard God holds us to.  that it is better to die.

That's absurd. One can't be expected to do oneself severe and permanent physical harms in order to avoid a forced sexual violation. As for actually willingly performing a sexual act under duress, one is expected to choose death rather than sin, but God is merciful.

it seems like sexual assault survivors have no place in the church, other than to die, or be better off dead.  There is no guidance from the church on LIVING with the effects of sexual assault which is especially infuriating considering that so many of

One can say this about almost  ANYTHING, about there being to specific guidance. But the guidance is there, because it's the same guidance of the Gospel that applies to everything.

Her priests have inflicted it upon countless children, and yet where can these children turn?

They can turn to where we all turn, the Word, the Sacraments, and prayer and meditation. Life sucks, and it sucks for everyone.

[OCLittleFlower]

One important thing to remember is that we each see each other's public face, but we see ourselves at our worst.  This is why they say Facebook makes people less satisfied with their lives.  They see the happy moments and perfect vacations and posed pictures from their friends' lives, without seeing any of the bad stuff. 

I think, since people know you're going through a hard time, they are even less likely to show you their struggles, their troubles, etc, because they don't want to burden you.  But, of course, the reality is that you then see an even more "perfect" life from them...

[Xavier]

Dear Ches, please contemplate and meditate more on the bliss and unending joys of paradise with Jesus and Mary, with the Saints and the Angels. It is only in the light of eternity that the reason for some crosses wil be unveiled. I think you said you had an NDE once, Ches? It may be that God desires through your suffering to raise you to a high degree of glory, provided you remain faithful to Him. You may well attain many more merits than I or others would attain to. Remember Jesus is there with you and in you, He is suffering all that you suffer. And He will crown it with a resurrection in the end. Never give up hope of physical healing either. God can always do it and will do it if it is truly good for your soul. Ask with faith and patience. Only remain close to Him at all times by the sacraments; don't think about others. If you can watch Holy Mass only on tv, do that. If a priest brings Holy Communion to you, please recieve. What can you do? If you pray for others, both you and them will obtain much grace. Please set aside more time for prayer. In this life, we are to battle like soldiers, with indomitable zeal, through any and every cross. We can never give God more glory and obtain more merit for ourselves than when we humbly surrender to Divine Providence and accept everything He has ordained as being the very best thing for us. Please try to be resigned to His will; like Job was in the beginning. Job never thought he would get up and walk again but he did. Love God, accept your cross; offer your life to God and ask Him to help you through this. May God give you the strength to overcome your difficulties.

My Child, the eye has not seen, the ear has not heard, nor has the heart of man conceived, what things I have prepared for them, that love and serve Me faithfully to the end. Who can portray for those who have not experienced it, what Heaven is,-----that blissful abode from which all ills are banished, in which there is an overflowing of all good things?

No labor shall be there, no sorrow, no temptation, no danger: all these things have passed away with mortal life; they have given place to perfect rest, to endless joy, to a peace that cannot be disturbed, to a security that none can take away. There shall be neither cold, nor heat; neither inclemency, nor change of seasons; neither unpleasant days, nor gloomy nights. Those realms of bliss are illumined by My everlasting glory, softened by the Divine serenity of My countenance, enlivened by the infinite sweetness of My Heart so that everything smiles in the purest light, in the newness of a heavenly spring, for evermore.

Blessed are they that dwell therein! They neither hunger, nor thirst; nor are they subject to aught that is unpleasant; nor shall they be weakened in vigor forever.There they are replenished and inebriated from the torrent of the delights of God; they flourish in perpetual youth, and, immortal, they shine brighter than the sun for all eternity. My Child, there thou shalt behold Me as I am, and gaze upon Me face to face, in the most entrancing splendors of My Majesty. There, by the intuition of My infinite perfections, thou shalt be rapt with admiration, and overflow with bliss; in the excess of thy joy thou shalt, of thy own accord, burst forth in boundless praises, and exaltation of My most lovely Attributes.

Then also thou shalt understand the mysteries of faith, and the secrets of nature. All the science of philosophers is but ignorance, when compared with the knowledge possessed by
the least of the Elect. Then shalt thou view all the display of My everlasting kingdom, its unbounded treasures, its ever-enduring dignities. At the contemplation of a loveliness so varied, and so great, thou shalt be inflamed with an ineffable love for Me. Then, My Child, then, wilt thou love Me, in a perfect manner, without any division of thy affections, without remissness, without end.

Now, thou art sometimes in trouble, because thou knowest not whether thou art worthy of love or of hatred: then, to thy unutterable joy, thou shalt know with certainty, that thou lovest Me, and wilt love Me forever; and that, in return, thou art loved, and shalt be loved by Me, throughout eternity.

Then shalt thou repose on My Heart, with perfect security; and thou shalt taste how delightful it is, to love Me, and to melt away in My love.Thou shalt be inebriated with an exceeding great sweetness, and rapt above thyself; thou shalt swim in an ocean of love, with the Angels and the Saints amid jubilant hymns of love, for evermore.Thus shalt thou spend ages, and while away eternity, ever wishing, and ever longing, to love; and, at the same time, ever sated, and ever blissful, with love.

5. Then, at last, Child, shalt thou possess Me, and enjoy Me forever: which is the completing of beatitude.

Thou shalt be wholly Mine, and I will be wholly thine: thou shalt enjoy Me, in a manner ever new, ever most delightful.

In Me thou shalt possess every good, and have whatever thou canst wish or desire.

Let thy mind conceive, if possible, how beautiful, how wonderful, how charming, all things are there: how rapturous to behold the glory and exquisite adornment of the heavens, to be present among the choirs of the Angels, to exult unceasingly with the Saints, to contemplate and love the most Blessed Virgin, the glorious Queen of the heavenly kingdom; and, in return, to attract Her sweet looks, and gain Her love.

What delightful dwellings, O My Child! what pleasant companionship! what charming beatitude and all to endure forever and ever! Behold, My Child, behold the exceeding great reward of those that serve Me with their whole heart. Can the world give such things? Or even promise them? Lift up thy eyes, therefore, and see what awaits thee, if thou art faithful to Me; even to the end.

Be of good cheer, My Child; and as much as thou art able, with the Divine grace and thy own co-operation, cleanse thy heart and preserve it pure. For nothing defiled, be it ever so little, shall enter into Heaven.But the purer thou art here, the more glorious shalt thou be there; and the nearer to Me, and the dearer to My Heart.

[Jayne]

I think, since people know you're going through a hard time, they are even less likely to show you their struggles, their troubles, etc, because they don't want to burden you.  But, of course, the reality is that you then see an even more "perfect" life from them...

I don't like sharing my struggles, but it's more because I don't like being vulnerable than because I don't want to burden people.  I have to make a conscious effort to discuss my problems. 

For the last year and a half, I have been struggling a lot.  I had months of dealing with both my parents being ill and then they both died six weeks apart.  I am the executor of the will and my youngest sister is contesting it.  She is mentally ill with a distorted perception of reality which leads her to falsely accuse my parents, other siblings and myself of all sorts of horrible things.  The legal case continues to drag on.  The situation has been extremely stressful which has taken a toll on my health.  I already had a chronic condition before any of the started.

The was some recent discussion here about the value of light-hearted banter among us and it made me realize that it has been a long time since I felt capable of doing that.  My long time hobby of participating in forums has ceased to be a source of pleasure for me.  From time to time I consider writing to SD to ask for prayers and support, but I don't bring myself to do it.

It is not possible to really compare yourself to others because you don't actually know what is going on in their lives.

[Chestertonian]

If she didnt jump out of a window would she have been culpable?  there are so many saints that did these things, choosing death over rape.  it does seem like ths is the standard God holds us to.  that it is better to die.

That's absurd. One can't be expected to do oneself severe and permanent physical harms in order to avoid a forced sexual violation. As for actually willingly performing a sexual act under duress, one is expected to choose death rather than sin, but God is merciful.

it seems like sexual assault survivors have no place in the church, other than to die, or be better off dead.  There is no guidance from the church on LIVING with the effects of sexual assault which is especially infuriating considering that so many of

One can say this about almost  ANYTHING, about there being to specific guidance. But the guidance is there, because it's the same guidance of the Gospel that applies to everything.

Her priests have inflicted it upon countless children, and yet where can these children turn?

They can turn to where we all turn, the Word, the Sacraments, and prayer and meditation. Life sucks, and it sucks for everyone.

Except i turn to these things and it's like God is saying "I wish you were dead." But I'm not dead.  There's a disconnect.

[Chestertonian]

I think, since people know you're going through a hard time, they are even less likely to show you their struggles, their troubles, etc, because they don't want to burden you.  But, of course, the reality is that you then see an even more "perfect" life from them...

I don't like sharing my struggles, but it's more because I don't like being vulnerable than because I don't want to burden people.  I have to make a conscious effort to discuss my problems. 

For the last year and a half, I have been struggling a lot.  I had months of dealing with both my parents being ill and then they both died six weeks apart.  I am the executor of the will and my youngest sister is contesting it.  She is mentally ill with a distorted perception of reality which leads her to falsely accuse my parents, other siblings and myself of all sorts of horrible things.  The legal case continues to drag on.  The situation has been extremely stressful which has taken a toll on my health.  I already had a chronic condition before any of the started.

The was some recent discussion here about the value of light-hearted banter among us and it made me realize that it has been a long time since I felt capable of doing that.  My long time hobby of participating in forums has ceased to be a source of pleasure for me.  From time to time I consider writing to SD to ask for prayers and support, but I don't bring myself to do it.

It is not possible to really compare yourself to others because you don't actually know what is going on in their lives.

I can see/hear of what people are doing.  Not necessarily all the suffering.  I'm sure lots of people who are not playing to God also suffer but they are able to do more for God.  Like I'm sure a lot of large families suffer very much but they will still be more pleasing to God than my family.  Vulnerability is not pleasing to God when it's a man who is vulnerable.  It is ok for you to be vulnerable because you are a woman

[Jayne]

Like I'm sure a lot of large families suffer very much but they will still be more pleasing to God than my family.  Vulnerability is not pleasing to God when it's a man who is vulnerable.  It is ok for you to be vulnerable because you are a woman

At some level you must realize how absurd that is.

God, an infinitely powerful Being, emptied Himself of power to become one of us. He entered human existence as an infant, the archetype of vulnerability.  The Mystery of Incarnation is all about vulnerability and embracing our own vulnerability is a means to be united with the Incarnate God.  This applies to men at least as much as to women.

It is false and ridiculous to claim that vulnerability is not pleasing to God.  You dislike being vulnerable (quite understandably) and are projecting it onto God.

[Chestertonian]

Like I'm sure a lot of large families suffer very much but they will still be more pleasing to God than my family.  Vulnerability is not pleasing to God when it's a man who is vulnerable.  It is ok for you to be vulnerable because you are a woman

At some level you must realize how absurd that is.

God, an infinitely powerful Being, emptied Himself of power to become one of us. He entered human existence as an infant, the archetype of vulnerability.  The Mystery of Incarnation is all about vulnerability and embracing our own vulnerability is a means to be united with the Incarnate God.  This applies to men at least as much as to women.

It is false and ridiculous to claim that vulnerability is not pleasing to God.  You dislike being vulnerable (quite understandably) and are projecting it onto God.

This makes sense IF Christ truly experienced vulnerability.

How can you be all powerful and vulnerable at the same time?

[james03]

I know that God DOES love some more than other sso maybe this is all just part of His plan and His way ofshowing me that I'm not as loved as others and he wants me to be humble enough to accept that, but it's just hard to accept and I don't know how.

Do you hate God because of this?  Serious question.

As far as comparing yourself to others, your therapist knows more than we, evidently he identified this as a problem.  Since permanent progression comes by doing a little everyday, perhaps this is a stumbling block.  You see where you are now, and compare it to some great saint.  You then get depressed at the huge gulf and don't even try.  It's better to look at doing a few small things TODAY and making today better than yesterday, even by a little.  Do that for a few years and you will be surprised at the progression.

[Jayne]

Like I'm sure a lot of large families suffer very much but they will still be more pleasing to God than my family.  Vulnerability is not pleasing to God when it's a man who is vulnerable.  It is ok for you to be vulnerable because you are a woman

At some level you must realize how absurd that is.

God, an infinitely powerful Being, emptied Himself of power to become one of us. He entered human existence as an infant, the archetype of vulnerability.  The Mystery of Incarnation is all about vulnerability and embracing our own vulnerability is a means to be united with the Incarnate God.  This applies to men at least as much as to women.

It is false and ridiculous to claim that vulnerability is not pleasing to God.  You dislike being vulnerable (quite understandably) and are projecting it onto God.

This makes sense IF Christ truly experienced vulnerability.

How can you be all powerful and vulnerable at the same time?

Of course he truly experienced vulnerability; He died on the Cross.  He called out "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" 

Think about this passage from Phillipians 2:

[5] For let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: [6] Who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: [7] But emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men, and in habit found as a man. [8] He humbled himself, becoming obedient unto death, even to the death of the cross.

He emptied Himself of the power due to God and took on the vulnerability of humanity, starting from His infancy, going until His death on the Cross.  The vulnerability which we endure as an inescapable part of human existence, He took on willingly.  This was, paradoxically, a powerful act, only possible for God. 

[Carleendiane]

Chestertonian
"How can you be all powerful and vulnerable at the same time?"

He was both truly human and truly divine. His humanity allowed for bodily weakness and vulnerability. He chose to fully experience bodily needs, temptations and vulnerability. He could have come fully divine attired in human body. But that did not suit the Salvific plan.

Edited to add: The bloody sweat and tears shed in the Garden was produced by severe mental trauma, being fear, knowing what was to come, all the pain and suffering his humanity would endure. If that's NOT vulnerability, I don't know what is.