If your parents were hoarders, would you report them?

Bernadette · November 08, 2023, 04:04:23 PM

If the house was unsafe to the point of paramedics not being able to get in? My dad is recovering from heart surgery, and needs more surgery later. Could have another heart attack any time. There is no discussing or reasoning them out of this. What would you do?
Edit: My Dad's not the hoarder. It's his wife. He enables her.

Lynne · November 08, 2023, 04:43:28 PM

Wow. If the EMTs truly couldn't get in the house to where your father is, it would be tempting to report them. On the other hand, that would be incredibly stressful for them. Do they have the ability to fix the situation? If not, would it cost a lot of money which they may not have.

Tough call.

Bernadette · November 08, 2023, 04:49:06 PM

Quote from: Lynne on November 08, 2023, 04:43:28 PMWow. If the EMTs truly couldn't get in the house to where your father is, it would be tempting to report them. On the other hand, that would be incredibly stressful for them. Do they have the ability to fix the situation? If not, would it cost a lot of money which they may not have.

Tough call.

I mean, they can choose to fix the situation, but they won't. Instead, they choose to make it worse, time and again.

Lynne · November 08, 2023, 04:53:23 PM

Quote from: Bernadette on November 08, 2023, 04:49:06 PM
Quote from: Lynne on November 08, 2023, 04:43:28 PMWow. If the EMTs truly couldn't get in the house to where your father is, it would be tempting to report them. On the other hand, that would be incredibly stressful for them. Do they have the ability to fix the situation? If not, would it cost a lot of money which they may not have.

Tough call.

I mean, they can choose to fix the situation, but they won't. Instead, they choose to make it worse, time and again.

Ah. Good for you and your decision.

Bernadette · November 08, 2023, 05:42:33 PM

Edit: My brother and one of my sisters want to report them. Apparently, Dad has been assigned a caseworker who will hopefully check up on him, and something will get done.

Edit: Apparently the caseworker doesn't make home visits. So the situation will stay the same.

drummerboy · November 10, 2023, 02:06:37 PM

Unfortunately I doubt anything will happen. EMT's encounter hoarders more than you would think, and nothing happens to those people. It's not illegal so there's really nothing to be done.

Bernadette · November 10, 2023, 02:43:08 PM

Quote from: drummerboy on November 10, 2023, 02:06:37 PMUnfortunately I doubt anything will happen. EMT's encounter hoarders more than you would think, and nothing happens to those people. It's not illegal so there's really nothing to be done.

In this case, it is illegal. They're only allowed to have four dogs according to the city. Probably to prevent this very situation from happening.

LausTibiChriste · November 10, 2023, 04:54:55 PM

To whom would you even report them? The Po?

Bernadette · November 10, 2023, 05:08:55 PM

Quote from: LausTibiChriste on November 10, 2023, 04:54:55 PMTo whom would you even report them? The Po?

Animal control or the city.

Greg · November 10, 2023, 09:41:09 PM

I would not report them, no.

Because I don't believe the city cares.

Your parents might be in a mess but it is THEIR mess.

The same authority you are reporting them to murdered old people in care homes, and on ventilators, 3 years ago by bullying them and locking them up.

Your parents could very well end up on top of a list marked for quiet extermination. Stranger things have happened.

Best to not cooperate with the authorities at all.

You cannot have 5 dogs, but the city gladly keep the abortion clinics and titty bars open.

moneil · November 11, 2023, 10:56:58 PM

Awhile back I audited the EMT course at a local community college. We had several live exercises on how to extract people from difficult situations. I work part time as an assistant at a funeral home, and likewise ingenuity is sometimes needed for a removal. The point being, if your father needs to be taken out by emergency medical services they will find a way to do it, and they have a lot of experience.

Hoarding per se is typically not (and shouldn't be) illegal. Immobile rigs rusting out on the front lawn or rotting food and feces piling up inside are issues, but just having too much stuff can be a matter of personal taste. One should be cautious about having the government "take over".

However, later in the thread you mention too many dogs, in my mind that is altogether different than hoarding things. Sanitation and animal cruelty issues may be considerations. I defiantly would involve animal control, or if any of the dogs appear unhealthy take them to the vet or humane society and don't bring them back, but will just removing one or two dogs resolve the issues?

Are there close friends who could be invited to visit? Can the priest stop by for a pastoral visit? Could any of these be persuasive? You mentioned your dad's wife but didn't say "my mother". It's not my place to pry but if her current emotional / mental state doesn't allow her to adequately care for her husband his children may have an obligation to seek a form of guardianship. Attorneys are expensive to talk to, but most places have non-profit non-governmental resource centers for senior citizens, and they may have good advice. Also, hospitals often have a social worker on staff who maybe can address your father's care environment.

Bernadette · November 12, 2023, 06:53:09 AM

There are at least 15 dogs (we suspect more) in a 2 bedroom trailer. These dogs are not house trained. I'm scared my father might get an infection. They don't let anyone come to the house, because they're scared of getting reported. Dad hasn't been to church since my First Communion 30 years ago, and he won't see a priest. He does have a caseworker, but she doesn't make home visits. He's doing his at-home PT at a neighbor's house. I'm coming to the conclusion that there's nothing I can do here. Even if all of the dogs were taken, the wife would just get more off of Craigslist.

drummerboy · November 12, 2023, 10:42:10 AM

And there probably isn't anything you can do, it seems you've done all you could. If you really wanted to "raise hell" you could go up the chain and contact the case worker's manager at the county (parish?) office, and go up to state level if need be. They all answer to somebody.

moneil · November 12, 2023, 11:11:38 AM

Quote from: Bernadette on November 12, 2023, 06:53:09 AMThere are at least 15 dogs (we suspect more) in a 2 bedroom trailer.

This information gives more of a perspective. You and your siblings will know best, but if there are other erratic behaviors you might have grounds to consider asking for a guardianship. If nothing else, I would call animal control. Maybe your father's wife could volunteer at the humane society / animal shelter (where I live they are always looking for volunteers to help feed and to socialize the critters, pet the cats, walk the dogs, etc.) and maybe that would fill a void for her?

Bernadette · November 12, 2023, 11:46:10 AM

Quote from: moneil on November 12, 2023, 11:11:38 AM
Quote from: Bernadette on November 12, 2023, 06:53:09 AMThere are at least 15 dogs (we suspect more) in a 2 bedroom trailer.

This information gives more of a perspective. You and your siblings will know best, but if there are other erratic behaviors you might have grounds to consider asking for a guardianship. If nothing else, I would call animal control. Maybe your father's wife could volunteer at the humane society / animal shelter (where I live they are always looking for volunteers to help feed and to socialize the critters, pet the cats, walk the dogs, etc.) and maybe that would fill a void for her?

Now my aunt is saying that if we call animal control and the dogs are taken away, the wife would probably kill herself or do something equally drastic, and we'd be responsible. My aunt and one sister say it's none of our business.