To Tell or not to Tell?

Started by Heinrich, June 28, 2024, 06:05:08 PM

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Heinrich

I am one of 6. My mom was one of 8. Most all of these 1st and 2nd degree family members live within an hour of me(1 sister in FLA). There is 0 correspondence with anyone, mainly due to me being that oddball guy(crazy uncle) people meme about. We have made overtures numerous times for simple gatherings and general camaraderie. Ignored or "we're busy" responses. I have shared my traditional political and religious beliefs when topic discussions presented themselves, but not to the point of being antagonizing, haranguing, or insulting. Given this context,  I was telling Frau H. that if I were to ever be diagnosed with a terminal illness, that I would not bother to bother them with my plight. My question: is this outside the moral obligation?
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.

LausTibiChriste

I don't see why not. You are the head of your family with Frau H... that's as far as your legal moral obligation goes as I see it. Other family can be blown of if reason dictates.

Probably would save your family a lot of stress too... it's incredible how hawkish some people can become at the illness/death of family member
Lord Jesus Christ, Son Of God, Have Mercy On Me A Sinner

Severinus

#2
One of my cousins received a terminal diagnosis last summer. He personally called many family members to let them know, even ones he hadn't seen or spoken to in a long time. He is a private man so these conversations were very draining, and he confided in me that enduring sudden sympathy and interest from people who hadn't shown it before drove him to cynicism. But he felt it was a duty as a man in the family to tell everyone himself. I think it has paid dividends, as a few younger family members who didn't know him well have now had the chance to spend time with him.

Michael Wilson

You do not have any obligation except to your wife and children; these relatives either do not care about you or are too busy with their own lives to respond to you.
As we are on the topic, the final blessing given by a priest during the sacrament of Extreme unction (Traditional Rite),caries a plenary indulgence that is effective at the very moment that our soul is leaving our body. Nice to have when going for our final review.   
"The World Must Conform to Our Lord and not He to it." Rev. Dennis Fahey CSSP

"My brothers, all of you, if you are condemned to see the triumph of evil, never applaud it. Never say to evil: you are good; to decadence: you are progess; to death: you are life. Sanctify yourselves in the times wherein God has placed you; bewail the evils and the disorders which God tolerates; oppose them with the energy of your works and your efforts, your life uncontaminated by error, free from being led astray, in such a way that having lived here below, united with the Spirit of the Lord, you will be admitted to be made but one with Him forever and ever: But he who is joined to the Lord is one in spirit." Cardinal Pie of Potiers

Gardener

If I had a terminal disease and my parents were deceased, I might tell my half brothers despite not having much communication otherwise.

I doubt I'd go calling or writing cousins and such.

Regardless, I would make sure my legal affairs were in order with very specific legal language to make a judge laugh at any extended family trying to get something post-death.
"Lord save us from the sufficient grace of the Thomists!"

Melkite

Quote from: Michael Wilson on June 29, 2024, 08:36:34 AMYou do not have any obligation except to your wife and children; these relatives either do not care about you or are too busy with their own lives to respond to you.
As we are on the topic, the final blessing given by a priest during the sacrament of Extreme unction (Traditional Rite),caries a plenary indulgence that is effective at the very moment that our soul is leaving our body. Nice to have when going for our final review.   

Does only the traditional rite of unction carry that indulgence?

Bonaventure

QuoteMy question: is this outside the moral obligation?

In my opinion you aren't obligated to tell anyone except your wife and children.

diaduit

Here is another angle to consider, If you both follow through with plans to not tell and you die, Frau H will be left with an awful burden to explain to family what happened and why were they not told.  I can guarantee they would make her miserable with all sorts of digs and slights about not being included.  Nothing as sure to cause butt hurt to people  and for them to take it on you when you hold a mirror up to their faults, no one likes to be faced with the consequences of their own actions and Frau H will have to face it alone.
My solution would be to tell them and then update on your own choosing on a whatsapp group and keep it curt.

james03

Considering the title, I imagine all of the Trad Lasses on this forum clicked on this thread.
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

Michael Wilson

Quote from: Melkite on July 02, 2024, 06:46:26 PMDoes only the traditional rite of unction carry that indulgence?
The new rite is described here: https://www.usccb.org/prayers/order-blessing-sick
And it states that a "lay minister" may also perform the "Blessing of the Sick"
Quote378 The present order may be used by a priest or deacon. It may also be used by a layperson, who follows the rites and prayers designated for a lay minister. While maintaining the structure and chief elements of the rite, the minister should adapt the celebration to the circumstances of the place and the people involved.
There is no mention of the absolution of one's sins or the remission of the temporal penalty and the "short version" this prayer:
QuoteLord and Father, almighty and eternal God,
by your blessing you give us strength and support in our frailty:
turn with kindness toward your servant, N.
Free him/her from all illness and restore him/her to health,
so that in the sure knowledge of your goodness
he/she will gratefully bless your holy name.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
--
From reading the above rite, its appears to be wholly concerned with the physical health of the sick person, not about the remission of their sins or eternal salvation.
As one can ascertain by reading the prayers from the Traditional rite:
https://www.latinmassfuneral.com/extreme-unction/
"The World Must Conform to Our Lord and not He to it." Rev. Dennis Fahey CSSP

"My brothers, all of you, if you are condemned to see the triumph of evil, never applaud it. Never say to evil: you are good; to decadence: you are progess; to death: you are life. Sanctify yourselves in the times wherein God has placed you; bewail the evils and the disorders which God tolerates; oppose them with the energy of your works and your efforts, your life uncontaminated by error, free from being led astray, in such a way that having lived here below, united with the Spirit of the Lord, you will be admitted to be made but one with Him forever and ever: But he who is joined to the Lord is one in spirit." Cardinal Pie of Potiers

OCLittleFlower

Quote from: diaduit on July 03, 2024, 02:25:51 AMHere is another angle to consider, If you both follow through with plans to not tell and you die, Frau H will be left with an awful burden to explain to family what happened and why were they not told.  I can guarantee they would make her miserable with all sorts of digs and slights about not being included.  Nothing as sure to cause butt hurt to people  and for them to take it on you when you hold a mirror up to their faults, no one likes to be faced with the consequences of their own actions and Frau H will have to face it alone.
My solution would be to tell them and then update on your own choosing on a whatsapp group and keep it curt.

I agree...though it's something to discuss with one's spouse.

Also, there could be an argument for moral obligation to tell relatively close blood relations about something with a genetic cause. Or if it's something environmental that you have in common...just to warn them so they can be informed.
-- currently writing a Trad romance entitled Flirting with Sedevacantism --

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