To Tell or not to Tell?

[Heinrich]

I am one of 6. My mom was one of 8. Most all of these 1st and 2nd degree family members live within an hour of me(1 sister in FLA). There is 0 correspondence with anyone, mainly due to me being that oddball guy(crazy uncle) people meme about. We have made overtures numerous times for simple gatherings and general camaraderie. Ignored or "we're busy" responses. I have shared my traditional political and religious beliefs when topic discussions presented themselves, but not to the point of being antagonizing, haranguing, or insulting. Given this context,  I was telling Frau H. that if I were to ever be diagnosed with a terminal illness, that I would not bother to bother them with my plight. My question: is this outside the moral obligation?

[LausTibiChriste]

I don't see why not. You are the head of your family with Frau H... that's as far as your legal moral obligation goes as I see it. Other family can be blown of if reason dictates.

Probably would save your family a lot of stress too... it's incredible how hawkish some people can become at the illness/death of family member

[Severinus]

One of my cousins received a terminal diagnosis last summer. He personally called many family members to let them know, even ones he hadn't seen or spoken to in a long time. He is a private man so these conversations were very draining, and he confided in me that enduring sudden sympathy and interest from people who hadn't shown it before drove him to cynicism. But he felt it was a duty as a man in the family to tell everyone himself. I think it has paid dividends, as a few younger family members who didn't know him well have now had the chance to spend time with him.

[Michael Wilson]

You do not have any obligation except to your wife and children; these relatives either do not care about you or are too busy with their own lives to respond to you.
As we are on the topic, the final blessing given by a priest during the sacrament of Extreme unction (Traditional Rite),caries a plenary indulgence that is effective at the very moment that our soul is leaving our body. Nice to have when going for our final review.   

[Gardener]

If I had a terminal disease and my parents were deceased, I might tell my half brothers despite not having much communication otherwise.

I doubt I'd go calling or writing cousins and such.

Regardless, I would make sure my legal affairs were in order with very specific legal language to make a judge laugh at any extended family trying to get something post-death.

[Melkite]

You do not have any obligation except to your wife and children; these relatives either do not care about you or are too busy with their own lives to respond to you.
As we are on the topic, the final blessing given by a priest during the sacrament of Extreme unction (Traditional Rite),caries a plenary indulgence that is effective at the very moment that our soul is leaving our body. Nice to have when going for our final review.   

Does only the traditional rite of unction carry that indulgence?

[Bonaventure]

My question: is this outside the moral obligation?

In my opinion you aren't obligated to tell anyone except your wife and children.

[diaduit]

Here is another angle to consider, If you both follow through with plans to not tell and you die, Frau H will be left with an awful burden to explain to family what happened and why were they not told.  I can guarantee they would make her miserable with all sorts of digs and slights about not being included.  Nothing as sure to cause butt hurt to people  and for them to take it on you when you hold a mirror up to their faults, no one likes to be faced with the consequences of their own actions and Frau H will have to face it alone.
My solution would be to tell them and then update on your own choosing on a whatsapp group and keep it curt.

[james03]

Considering the title, I imagine all of the Trad Lasses on this forum clicked on this thread.

[Michael Wilson]

Does only the traditional rite of unction carry that indulgence?

The new rite is described here: https://www.usccb.org/prayers/order-blessing-sick
And it states that a "lay minister" may also perform the "Blessing of the Sick"

378 The present order may be used by a priest or deacon. It may also be used by a layperson, who follows the rites and prayers designated for a lay minister. While maintaining the structure and chief elements of the rite, the minister should adapt the celebration to the circumstances of the place and the people involved.

There is no mention of the absolution of one's sins or the remission of the temporal penalty and the "short version" this prayer:

Lord and Father, almighty and eternal God,
by your blessing you give us strength and support in our frailty:
turn with kindness toward your servant, N.
Free him/her from all illness and restore him/her to health,
so that in the sure knowledge of your goodness
he/she will gratefully bless your holy name.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.

--
From reading the above rite, its appears to be wholly concerned with the physical health of the sick person, not about the remission of their sins or eternal salvation.
As one can ascertain by reading the prayers from the Traditional rite:
https://www.latinmassfuneral.com/extreme-unction/

[OCLittleFlower]

Here is another angle to consider, If you both follow through with plans to not tell and you die, Frau H will be left with an awful burden to explain to family what happened and why were they not told.  I can guarantee they would make her miserable with all sorts of digs and slights about not being included.  Nothing as sure to cause butt hurt to people  and for them to take it on you when you hold a mirror up to their faults, no one likes to be faced with the consequences of their own actions and Frau H will have to face it alone.
My solution would be to tell them and then update on your own choosing on a whatsapp group and keep it curt.

I agree...though it's something to discuss with one's spouse.

Also, there could be an argument for moral obligation to tell relatively close blood relations about something with a genetic cause. Or if it's something environmental that you have in common...just to warn them so they can be informed.

[Greg]

Just ask God if you can come back and haunt them as a way of saving their souls.  If He says 'no', then, well at least you tried.

If He says yes it will be a lot of fun.

Woohoo...

[Heinrich]

Cheeky, G, cheeky.