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Why value love over dominance?

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Ragnarok:
After digging deep into the abyss of myself, I came to a horrible realization - all of my spiritual praxis, prayer, mediation, liturgy, etc. for my whole life has been for the glorification of myself. That is, I really detested being "me". I still do. I have no real pragmatic utility except for being tall and above average intelligence (which is meh compared to the geniuses today). Never good at sports, uncoordinated, ugly-ish, and some level of neuro-atypicality (I'm not autistic or anything, but I never felt "normal" - I never really felt satisfied from the pleasures of life; they grew old really quickly; I never really cared about pleasing anybody socially, never really cared about petty social hierarchy dominance rituals, never really had a friend group or relationships, never really cared about any of this; and I always needed, at least once a week, alone time in my room).

In reality though, a lot of this stems from just feeling socially inferior and not wanting to bother. Because I am. I am socially inferior.

So religion was the perfect way to escape from all of this and find some way I could raise myself above others. By being morally virtuous, by being ascetic, by having discipline and restraining from the pleasures of life, I could ascend and become higher than all. As a parallel, I could become a Saint and laugh condescendingly at people below me.

But the truth is, despite wearing the moniker of "Catholic", "Orthodox",  "Christian", I never showed any "love" or compassion to anyone who I felt didn't deserve it, and if I did, it was all motivated by pleasing God or others. Nor do I see any pragmatic value in it aside from me being selfishly motivated.


All real forms of love seem to be biconditional. A tit for tat. A mother loves her son because of biological biases and the pleasure from seeing her son love her back. Your friends only value you because they feel like you bring some value to them, and vice-versa. Your boss gives you a raise because you either performed great work or society obligated him too. Your lover loves you because of lustful satisfaction. Etc.

And really, even for those who claim to show unconditional love, so often the "I" is the center of it. "I" volunteered at the soup-kitchen because "I" wanted to feel good about it. "I" felt that God told me I should. How often will someone at a soup-kitchen hug a broken down poor family who never feels loved for no reason?

I really don't see why I should. Nobody has ever showed me love unconditionally. I always have to provide value to them for them to even care. Why should I take a step forward and show them unconditional love?

And really, what about the role of dominance in life? Even from teenage years, it seems innate for us to want to dominate others. We create social status hierarchies of dominance based on wealth, attractiveness, social extravertedness, etc., with a bunch of losers at the bottom who are neither pretty, wealthy, or extroverted. Even contemporary Western society today is built on such vanity; even politics. When we see political enemies that we hate, we raise ourselves above them and view them as lesser. Look at all those redneck incestuous GED hicks who won't get the Covid vaccine, who vote for Trump! Look at all those Leftist SJW pink hair dyed manchildren with their Sonic the Hedgehog toys!

I mean dang it, even reading the Bible shows nothing but petty dominance disputes. Who should be the King of Israel based on his countenance? Whether a Galilean could be the Messiah, and really, ultimately, "God has dominance over all, so if you don't submit yourself, He will exercise dominance over you and burn you forever"


It just seems like life is survival of the fittest, and if you aren't fit, die off.

So why not value dominance over unconditional compassion?

Ragnarok:
Maybe in our contemporary society, I'm just not seeing the full picture considering that almost all the traditional religions have lost their valuing of "strength" as a product of our "circus and breadcrumbs" culture - one only has to look at the Crusader monastic orders of the medieval period for valuing that compared to the Catholic Church in any capacity now, and I'm just at a loss that our society has lost this vital component of strength and power as an intrinsic good.

However, even so, I fundamentally don't get why we should order our strength and dominance as subordinate to selflessness and compassion, and not order selflessness and compassion to dominance.

Fleur-de-Lys:
Why value love over dominance? Because dominance is the way of the world, whereas love and compassion are the way of Christ.

Christe Eleison:

--- Quote from: Fleur-de-Lys on September 09, 2021, 07:48:24 PM ---Why value love over dominance? Because dominance is the way of the world, whereas love and compassion are the way of Christ.

--- End quote ---

Dear FLEUR,
Thanks for this post!! :thumbsup: Excellent reply!

I missed you around here! May God Bless you & your loved ones!!

 :grouphug:

Melkor:

--- Quote from: Ragnarok on September 09, 2021, 12:37:25 PM ---After digging deep into the abyss of myself, I came to a horrible realization - all of my spiritual praxis, prayer, mediation, liturgy, etc. for my whole life has been for the glorification of myself. That is, I really detested being "me". I still do. I have no real pragmatic utility except for being tall and above average intelligence (which is meh compared to the geniuses today). Never good at sports, uncoordinated, ugly-ish, and some level of neuro-atypicality (I'm not autistic or anything, but I never felt "normal" - I never really felt satisfied from the pleasures of life; they grew old really quickly; I never really cared about pleasing anybody socially, never really cared about petty social hierarchy dominance rituals, never really had a friend group or relationships, never really cared about any of this; and I always needed, at least once a week, alone time in my room).

In reality though, a lot of this stems from just feeling socially inferior and not wanting to bother. Because I am. I am socially inferior.

So religion was the perfect way to escape from all of this and find some way I could raise myself above others. By being morally virtuous, by being ascetic, by having discipline and restraining from the pleasures of life, I could ascend and become higher than all. As a parallel, I could become a Saint and laugh condescendingly at people below me.

But the truth is, despite wearing the moniker of "Catholic", "Orthodox",  "Christian", I never showed any "love" or compassion to anyone who I felt didn't deserve it, and if I did, it was all motivated by pleasing God or others. Nor do I see any pragmatic value in it aside from me being selfishly motivated.


All real forms of love seem to be biconditional. A tit for tat. A mother loves her son because of biological biases and the pleasure from seeing her son love her back. Your friends only value you because they feel like you bring some value to them, and vice-versa. Your boss gives you a raise because you either performed great work or society obligated him too. Your lover loves you because of lustful satisfaction. Etc.

And really, even for those who claim to show unconditional love, so often the "I" is the center of it. "I" volunteered at the soup-kitchen because "I" wanted to feel good about it. "I" felt that God told me I should. How often will someone at a soup-kitchen hug a broken down poor family who never feels loved for no reason?

I really don't see why I should. Nobody has ever showed me love unconditionally. I always have to provide value to them for them to even care. Why should I take a step forward and show them unconditional love?

And really, what about the role of dominance in life? Even from teenage years, it seems innate for us to want to dominate others. We create social status hierarchies of dominance based on wealth, attractiveness, social extravertedness, etc., with a bunch of losers at the bottom who are neither pretty, wealthy, or extroverted. Even contemporary Western society today is built on such vanity; even politics. When we see political enemies that we hate, we raise ourselves above them and view them as lesser. Look at all those redneck incestuous GED hicks who won't get the Covid vaccine, who vote for Trump! Look at all those Leftist SJW pink hair dyed manchildren with their Sonic the Hedgehog toys!

I mean dang it, even reading the Bible shows nothing but petty dominance disputes. Who should be the King of Israel based on his countenance? Whether a Galilean could be the Messiah, and really, ultimately, "God has dominance over all, so if you don't submit yourself, He will exercise dominance over you and burn you forever"


It just seems like life is survival of the fittest, and if you aren't fit, die off.

So why not value dominance over unconditional compassion?

--- End quote ---

Or... instead of feeling sorry for yourself you could go out and get some hobbies. I recommend getting outside and doing some fishing and/or hunting. Get some weights and lift them. Also, a good cigar and a whisky with friends around a campfire does wonders for a person. Video games, with moderation, can help you too.  When one is active there is little time for self-pity.

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