Asking the father's blessing

[Chestertonian]

I don't know, I really would have missed the look on Hubby's face when I walked in.  We even got a picture of it and it's one of my favorites.

My Dad walking me up the aisle gave me strength and the courage I needed to make it up there.

i think it's a beautiful tradition if it's applicable...  i know when my sister got married (ended up being a NO wedding but i couldn't go) she wanted me to give her away since i am her older brother.  i think the symbolism is  wonderful
but i think in my wife's case if she had someone other than her father give her away, it would have offended certain parties in her family, and it just made sense for us.  i also saw her dress weeks before the wedding and it wasn't the traditional white wedding dress\

[Jayne]

Might depend on age, too?  For instance, if two people getting married are both age 40... well, it might seem a little bizarre.

My son-in-law was around 40 and my daughter in her early 30s when they decided to marry.  They came together to both my husband and me to ask for our blessing.

[drummerboy]

Somewhat off-topic, but what about engagement rings?  I've heard that traditionally a man did not present the lady with a ring while proposing.

You must mean waiting to give a ring until the solemn rite of betrothal. A laudable practice which I followed, but very rarely observed by the 20th century. The rite of betrothal was actually reinserted into the most recent preconciliar edition of the Ritual, I think.

So it was a separate rite, gotcha

[Jayne]

The traditional Roman Ritual and Missal are both silent on the subject, and begin with the bride and groom at the altar. Couples are at liberty to process in whatever manner they like (within the limits of reverence). It is my opinion, though, that if there is to be a nuptial Mass, there ought to be a procession of the clergy and ministers as usual, rather than have them enter through a side door to make way for the bride on "her big day". Having the bride and groom enter together is, I think, more liturgically sound since they are the ministers of the sacrament, but again, there are no rubrics on this point. It's hard to say what happened "historically" because for the greater part of Christian history, marriages were witnessed outside at the portal of the church, or somewhere else entirely. Thus, if there was a nuptial Mass to follow, bride and groom always processed in together, but they were already married at that point.

As for the Novus Ordo's Rite of Marriage, its rubric actually specifies the bride and groom to process in together. Like many other Novus Ordo rubrics, this is an exercise in futility, since it gets followed probably less than 1% of the time. I've heard that a lot of women go bridezilla when that order of procession is even brought up by a priest or other planner. You, Chestertonian, are the 1%.

I think my husband and I processed in together, although it was so long ago I can't remember for sure. If I had known that was what the rubric said (which I probably did), I would have done it.  I know that my father did not give me away because my parents did not come to my wedding.  They did not want to participate in a Catholic service.

[Chestertonian]

Might depend on age, too?  For instance, if two people getting married are both age 40... well, it might seem a little bizarre.

My son-in-law was around 40 and my daughter in her early 30s when they decided to marry.  They came together to both my husband and me to ask for our blessing.

was she living with you
I think it's makes sense if she is still I under their roof

but say her parents are living across the country might not be feasible

[Jayne]

Might depend on age, too?  For instance, if two people getting married are both age 40... well, it might seem a little bizarre.

My son-in-law was around 40 and my daughter in her early 30s when they decided to marry.  They came together to both my husband and me to ask for our blessing.

was she living with you
I think it's makes sense if she is still I under their roof

but say her parents are living across the country might not be feasible

They both lived in Europe (they still do) and made the trip to Canada to ask us.

[Chestertonian]

Wow had you met him before

[Jayne]

Wow had you met him before

No, that was our first time meeting him.  I think that was one of the reasons they made the trip to Canada - so we could meet the man that our daughter was planning to marry.

[Chestertonian]

Wow had you met him before

No, that was our first time meeting him.  I think that was one of the reasons they made the trip to Canada - so we could meet the man that our daughter was planning to marry.

well than i can see that....

you want to meet their parents.... to know what mess you're getting into

also your daughter will eventually turn into you so he probably wanted a preview of what his future looks like

[Jayne]

well than i can see that....

you want to meet their parents.... to know what mess you're getting into

also your daughter will eventually turn into you so he probably wanted a preview of what his future looks like

I'm glad they did it.  It would have felt weird if our daughter had married a man we never met.  We got along with him pretty well. 

Of our three children who have married, we have gotten along with all their choices of spouse.   And our children-in-law have all been good about doing their part in producing grandchildren for me, so they get points for that. 

[Chestertonian]

well than i can see that....

you want to meet their parents.... to know what mess you're getting into

also your daughter will eventually turn into you so he probably wanted a preview of what his future looks like

I'm glad they did it.  It would have felt weird if our daughter had married a man we never met.  We got along with him pretty well. 

Of our three children who have married, we have gotten along with all their choices of spouse.   And our children-in-law have all been good about doing their part in producing grandchildren for me, so they get points for that. 

Hope you don't pressure to much reproduction is not something all can do on command

[Jayne]

Hope you don't pressure to much reproduction is not something all can do on command

I try not to pressure them, but they all know that I am thrilled when they have children.

[Chestertonian]

Hope you don't pressure to much reproduction is not something all can do on command

I try not to pressure them, but they all know that I am thrilled when they have children.

that sounds sane

my grandmother is always hounding me about when we are going to give her more great grandchildren.  it's annoying because I think she forgets how difficult it was for us to even have 1 child, and she assumes that since we have 1 child, that's an automatic guarantee that we can have more

[Jayne]

Hope you don't pressure to much reproduction is not something all can do on command

I try not to pressure them, but they all know that I am thrilled when they have children.

that sounds sane

my grandmother is always hounding me about when we are going to give her more great grandchildren.  it's annoying because I think she forgets how difficult it was for us to even have 1 child, and she assumes that since we have 1 child, that's an automatic guarantee that we can have more

That sounds rather unpleasant.  I would never put such unreasonable expectations on my children or grandchildren.

[Jayne]

I checked with my husband.  He says that we did process into the church together at our wedding.  That's what I thought.