Engagement\betrothal break off sinful

[paxvobis]

Queen saints, thank you for providing the source. I knew I heard something along the lines of a legal contract which made sense to me. Making a promise to someone without consequences if it is broken sounds like a product of our wicked modern world.

As to everybody else, I'm not saying people are wicked if they break it off. But I will say that people are less willing to give you a chance if you were the offending party. Man or woman.

[Greg]

I heard a priest recently comment on a marriage prep instruction class that 100% of the engaged couples there were living together.

[Baylee]

OP, this is an interesting topic.  You say you have been in Tradition for a decade.  Have you asked your Traditional Catholic priest?

[queen.saints]

Queen saints, thank you for providing the source.

No problem at all!


The example in the original post of a woman trying to damn herself to Hell for all eternity over an engagement is a good illustration of why the Catholic Church teaches us not to read books written by the enemies of the Catholic Church, like Leo Tolstoy, nor let them influence our world-view.






Here is an excerpt from the Catechism of the Council of Trent showing that while an engagement is indeed an important agreement it is not "like marriage" as asked in the original question.


Nothing else on earth is like marriage, only the wedding feast of the Lamb in heaven.


http://www.catholicapologetics.info/thechurch/catechism/Holy7Sacraments-Matrimony.shtml

"What has no present existence can have little or no firmness or stability. Hence a man who has only promised to marry a certain woman acquires by the promise no marriage rights, since his promise has not yet been fulfilled. Such promises are, it is true, obligatory, and their violation involves the offending party in a breach of faith. But he who has once entered into the matrimonial alliance, regret it as he afterwards may, cannot possibly change, or invalidate, or undo what has been done.

As, then, the marriage contract is not a mere promise, but a transfer of right, by which the man actually yields the dominion of his body to the woman, the woman the dominion of her body to the man, it must therefore be made in words which designate the present time, the force of which words abides with undiminished efficacy from the moment of their utterance, and binds the husband and wife by a tie that cannot be broken.

...

Thus when Christ our Lord wished to give a sign of the intimate union that exists between Him and His Church and of His immense love for us, He chose especially the sacred union of man and wife. That this sign was a most appropriate one will readily appear from the fact that of all human relations there is none that binds so closely as the marriage tie, and from the fact that husband and wife are bound to one another by the bonds of the greatest affection and love."



The most important consideration is always God's Will.  If that's breaking off an engagement, then that's the only right thing to do.



From the Douay Catechism:


"Why was it requisite that marriage should be made a sacrament?
    A. Because it is a contract whereon depends the chief happiness of a married life; as being ordained for the restraint of sinful concupiscence, the good of posterity, the well-ordering our domestic affairs, and the education of our children in the fear and service of God, and therefore ought to be ranked in the highest order of those actions, which Christ hath sanctioned for the use of man.

...


Q. Why are so many unhappy in their marriages?
    A. Because they never consulted with God about them, nor sought to have his blessing in them."

http://www.traditionalcatholic.net/Tradition/Information/The_Douay_Catechism/index.html

[dymphnaw]

nonsense. A broken engagement beats a divorce.

[drummerboy]

Marriage is hard af sometimes even when you're both gung-ho on it. Imagine forcing yourself into it when you're full of doubt or see red flags. That's a recipe for disaster.

A man prepares, discerns, and is tested, examined, etc. for 6, 7, or even 8 years prior to being ordained.

Most men and women wait far, far less than that, to marry.

I've read that is due to matrimony being a natural state of mankind, whereas the priesthood (and the accompanying celibacy) are supernatural, and not in the natural order of things.

[Bernadette]

As to everybody else, I'm not saying people are wicked if they break it off. But I will say that people are less willing to give you a chance if you were the offending party. Man or woman.

The one who broke it off, or the one whose character qualities made it necessary for it to be broken off?

[Annemarie]

I broke off my engagement because my fiance wanted to control my decisions regarding my own healthcare. He wanted me to come off of my mental health meds (which are necessary, and which work very well with no side effects), and wanted to pick my doctor. I said no, and that was that.