Does God give us more than we can bear

Started by Chestertonian, April 21, 2018, 11:22:42 PM

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james03

Purpose: To Live.  To provide value to your wife and kids.  To help others.  To produce.

Vision:  Use the JP method of push/pull.

Plan:  You will continue with "The Present" plan, but add long term goals and vision.  Think about the development of your kids and investigate ways to be a positive part of their lives, and do it.

You have the time and ability to post on the internet, so you can use that tool to be productive also.  Take some udemy online courses and learn Word Press, HTML, etc... and maybe some coding and start being productive.

Here's one option for a job you can do:  https://indemandcareer.com  Will it work?  Don't know, but it is worth looking into.

Start a prayer service.  You will offer up your sufferings and prayers for people in exchange for them sending $50 to the Clear Creek Monastery.

Become part of the "Internet Sleuths" who are going after child predators and trafficking organizations using internet research (this may appeal to you and you can get some "pay back").  Open a Gab.AI account (takes 1 minute) and start monitoring #pedogate and #pizzagate, and I'm sure other hashtags.  One leader of this movement is Liz Cronkin (there are many).  Follow them and join their group.  Offer to help out.  Imagine if your efforts helps to bust up 10 predators and saves hundreds of kids.  In the manly feasting hall of men, who would be given the higher seat of honor, you or me?  It would be you.  Is this possible? Heck yes.

This is a "future" I came up with in a few minutes.  Take a month, or 2, or 3 and make your own vision and plan customized to what interests you.  Every week spend some time thinking about your vision.  Think about The Sewer and The Possible.  Review your plan and fine tune it.  Do the plan. (cont'd)
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

james03

In closing, you have a choice.  Men don't leave men behind, and I've given you some good advice that you know will work.  You can decide to follow it, or you can decide to quit.  I'll be able to look myself in the mirror either way since I gave you help.  If you decide to work on it, your life will improve dramatically.

Or you can decide to quit.  Your whining and excuses won't work on me.  Every night my empty bed reminds me that my wife is dead and she's not coming back.  I won't use that excuse to quit.  I'm still going to kick @$$.  You can kick @$$ yourself, or you can whine and bleat and look for some sympathy from the women on this forum.  If that is what you want, I have no time for you.

Decide right now to never whine and never make excuses.  Stop right now from ever doing that again, and when you slip up, own it and start over.  Paraphrasing the movie, I've spent my precious time giving you sound advice.  Earn it.
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

mikemac

Quote from: Non Nobis on April 23, 2018, 09:36:03 PM
Quote from: mikemac on April 23, 2018, 02:31:26 PM
Quote from: Geremia on April 22, 2018, 09:28:40 PM
Quote from: mikemac on April 22, 2018, 05:53:12 PMpower is made perfect in infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
I love that part of that verse
Yes, the full verse is excellent

Yeah, you would think it was speaking directly to Chess.

Oh well, we can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves.

God may see Ches fighting his lack of trust over many years more than we do... We CAN help him by prayer, not by giving up on him saying "oh well".

I'm glad God is more patient than you (or we).

I pray He will be patient with me if I ever get in a situation such as Ches'; when you can't think clearly for suffering and medical reasons, and good sense and reasonable emotions have abandoned you. You're a strong and lucky man if you can't see this ever happening to you; or maybe you're just average and normal, but lucky for that.

When I say "Oh well, we can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves" I mean we can't help someone that refuses to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.

How has two years of coddling Chess by you and other women on this forum helped Chess over that time?  It hasn't.  You ladies try to help but he always seems to find fault with that help.  Sure pray for him, we all do.  But Chess needs to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.  What is it Chess, 15 months?  Or 2 years since you received the Holy Eucharist?  Do you even know how long?  If anyone thinks he doesn't need the Holy Eucharist then they need to read John chapter 6.

Chess you say you are not worthy to receive the Holy Eucharist.  But when you confess the sins that you can remember and say "for these and all the sins of my past life I am sorry" and the priest absolves you of your sins then you ARE worthy to receive the Holy Eucharist.  You need to believe that and do it.

Chess is not the only person that comes to this forum that has infirmities.  Martin asks for medical advise but you certainly don't see him blaming God for everything.  There are probably lots of people that come to this forum with medical problems that don't even mention them.  Enough of the coddling.  It hasn't worked.  Chess needs to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.   
Like John Vennari (RIP) said "Why not just do it?  What would it hurt?"
Consecrate Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary (PETITION)
https://lifepetitions.com/petition/consecrate-russia-to-the-immaculate-heart-of-mary-petition

"We would be mistaken to think that Fatima's prophetic mission is complete." Benedict XVI May 13, 2010

"Tell people that God gives graces through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  Tell them also to pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary for peace, since God has entrusted it to Her." Saint Jacinta Marto

The real nature of hope is "despair, overcome."
Source

Geremia


Geremia


Non Nobis

#20
Quote from: mikemac on April 24, 2018, 11:59:05 AM
Quote from: Non Nobis on April 23, 2018, 09:36:03 PM
Quote from: mikemac on April 23, 2018, 02:31:26 PM
Quote from: Geremia on April 22, 2018, 09:28:40 PM
Quote from: mikemac on April 22, 2018, 05:53:12 PMpower is made perfect in infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
I love that part of that verse
Yes, the full verse is excellent

Yeah, you would think it was speaking directly to Chess.

Oh well, we can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves.

God may see Ches fighting his lack of trust over many years more than we do... We CAN help him by prayer, not by giving up on him saying "oh well".

I'm glad God is more patient than you (or we).

I pray He will be patient with me if I ever get in a situation such as Ches'; when you can't think clearly for suffering and medical reasons, and good sense and reasonable emotions have abandoned you. You're a strong and lucky man if you can't see this ever happening to you; or maybe you're just average and normal, but lucky for that.

When I say "Oh well, we can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves" I mean we can't help someone that refuses to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.

How has two years of coddling Chess by you and other women on this forum helped Chess over that time?  It hasn't.  You ladies try to help but he always seems to find fault with that help.  Sure pray for him, we all do.  But Chess needs to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.  What is it Chess, 15 months?  Or 2 years since you received the Holy Eucharist?  Do you even know how long?  If anyone thinks he doesn't need the Holy Eucharist then they need to read John chapter 6.

Chess you say you are not worthy to receive the Holy Eucharist.  But when you confess the sins that you can remember and say "for these and all the sins of my past life I am sorry" and the priest absolves you of your sins then you ARE worthy to receive the Holy Eucharist.  You need to believe that and do it.

Chess is not the only person that comes to this forum that has infirmities.  Martin asks for medical advise but you certainly don't see him blaming God for everything.  There are probably lots of people that come to this forum with medical problems that don't even mention them.  Enough of the coddling.  It hasn't worked.  Chess needs to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.   

Yes, Ches does need to use his own will to go to Confession and Communion.  Perhaps we coddle him too much.  But although the fullness of grace comes through these Sacraments, grace is needed to turn to them when you have been turning away; grace influences the will.  We pray for that.
[Matthew 8:26]  And Jesus saith to them: Why are you fearful, O ye of little faith? Then rising up he commanded the winds, and the sea, and there came a great calm.

[Job  38:1-5]  Then the Lord answered Job out of a whirlwind, and said: [2] Who is this that wrappeth up sentences in unskillful words? [3] Gird up thy loins like a man: I will ask thee, and answer thou me. [4] Where wast thou when I laid up the foundations of the earth? tell me if thou hast understanding. [5] Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?

Jesus, Mary, I love Thee! Save souls!

Gardener

Quote from: james03 on April 24, 2018, 10:19:37 AM
In closing, you have a choice.  Men don't leave men behind, and I've given you some good advice that you know will work.  You can decide to follow it, or you can decide to quit.  I'll be able to look myself in the mirror either way since I gave you help.  If you decide to work on it, your life will improve dramatically.

Or you can decide to quit.  Your whining and excuses won't work on me.  Every night my empty bed reminds me that my wife is dead and she's not coming back.  I won't use that excuse to quit.  I'm still going to kick @$$.  You can kick @$$ yourself, or you can whine and bleat and look for some sympathy from the women on this forum.  If that is what you want, I have no time for you.

Decide right now to never whine and never make excuses.  Stop right now from ever doing that again, and when you slip up, own it and start over.  Paraphrasing the movie, I've spent my precious time giving you sound advice.  Earn it.

I was reading St. Francis De Sales' Introduction To the Devout Life.

In Chapter 5 he basically says the same thing: fight.

Quote... The work of the soul's purification neither may nor can end save with life itself;--do not then let us be disheartened by our imperfections,--our very perfection lies in diligently contending against them, and it is impossible so to contend without seeing them, or to overcome without meeting them face toe face. Our victory does not consist in being insensible to them, but in not consenting to them. Now to be afflicted by our imperfections is certainly not to consent thereto, and for the furtherance of humility it is needful that we sometimes find ourselves worsted in this spiritual battle, wherein, however, we shall never be conquered until we lose either life or courage. Moreover, imperfections and venial sins cannot destroy our spiritual life, which is only to be lost through mortal sin; consequently we have only need to watch well that they do not imperil our courage. David continually asks the Lord to strengthen his heart against cowardice and discouragement; and it is our privilege in this war that we are certain to vanquish so long as we are willing to fight.
https://www.catholicity.com/devoutlife/1-05.html

"If anyone does not wish to have Mary Immaculate for his Mother, he will not have Christ for his Brother." - St. Maximilian Kolbe

MundaCorMeum

Quote from: Gardener on April 25, 2018, 07:48:25 AM
Quote from: james03 on April 24, 2018, 10:19:37 AM
In closing, you have a choice.  Men don't leave men behind, and I've given you some good advice that you know will work.  You can decide to follow it, or you can decide to quit.  I'll be able to look myself in the mirror either way since I gave you help.  If you decide to work on it, your life will improve dramatically.

Or you can decide to quit.  Your whining and excuses won't work on me.  Every night my empty bed reminds me that my wife is dead and she's not coming back.  I won't use that excuse to quit.  I'm still going to kick @$$.  You can kick @$$ yourself, or you can whine and bleat and look for some sympathy from the women on this forum.  If that is what you want, I have no time for you.

Decide right now to never whine and never make excuses.  Stop right now from ever doing that again, and when you slip up, own it and start over.  Paraphrasing the movie, I've spent my precious time giving you sound advice.  Earn it.

I was reading St. Francis De Sales' Introduction To the Devout Life.

In Chapter 5 he basically says the same thing: fight.

Quote... The work of the soul's purification neither may nor can end save with life itself;--do not then let us be disheartened by our imperfections,--our very perfection lies in diligently contending against them, and it is impossible so to contend without seeing them, or to overcome without meeting them face toe face. Our victory does not consist in being insensible to them, but in not consenting to them. Now to be afflicted by our imperfections is certainly not to consent thereto, and for the furtherance of humility it is needful that we sometimes find ourselves worsted in this spiritual battle, wherein, however, we shall never be conquered until we lose either life or courage. Moreover, imperfections and venial sins cannot destroy our spiritual life, which is only to be lost through mortal sin; consequently we have only need to watch well that they do not imperil our courage. David continually asks the Lord to strengthen his heart against cowardice and discouragement; and it is our privilege in this war that we are certain to vanquish so long as we are willing to fight.
https://www.catholicity.com/devoutlife/1-05.html

Father Jacques Philippe says similar things in his book, Searching for and Maintaining Peace (EXCELLENT  book!)

QuoteIt is that the Christian life is a combat, a war without mercy....Every Christian must be thoroughly convinced that his spiritual life can in now way be viewed as the quiet unfolding of an inconsequential life without any problems; rather it must be viewed as the scene of a constant and sometimes painful battle, which will not end until death ---- a struggle against evil, temptation and the sin that is in him.  This combat is inevitable, but is to be understood as an extremely positive reality, because, as St. Catherine of Sienna says, "without war there is no peace"; without combat there is no victory

and, further on...

Quote...we learn to know ourselves in our weakness and to know God in His infinite mercy.  This combat is the definitive place of our transfiguration and glorification.

really, I could just quote the entire book, it's that good  ;)  He also affirms what St. Francis de Sales says about humbly accepting our imperfections for what they are.  Not that we consent to them or embrace them in the sense of loving or taking pleasure in them; rather, as embracing them as our particular battles we are called to fight for Our Lord and for our sanctification.  And, the goal is not necessarily to always obtain victory over our weaknesses, but to learn to maintain peace of heart under all circumstances, even in defeat.  So, yes, it is to just keep.on.fighting.  Accept that we WILL fall, but we will not stay down.  We will get up time and time and time again, not matter what, and keep hanging on until the end. 

Carleendiane

I often think we, or I, have NO idea how much I can actually bear. If I had been asked if I thought I could handle a stroke and year of therapy to learn how to not fall down, learn how to move properly....if I had been asked if I could handle an aneurysm, the terrible surgery to repair, the months of therapy after.....if I had been asked if I thought I could handle losing a child....to all those things, with much more not mentioned here, no need....prior to the events, I would have said no, or I could not fathom having to deal with such crushers. I have always underestimated what I could handle because I really had no idea what I could handle. What does it mean to "bear" these things? To me, it means to keep the faith, sometimes hanging on by fingernails, but to NOT let go. Ideally to grow in love and confidence in Gods provision.  To fulfill my duties in my limited obligation, due to health issues.

It never crossed my mind that those crosses were BECAUSE God did not love me..... and then being less than able bodied, doubting He loves me as much as the able bodied. It never crossed my mind that my infirmities would diminish my value in God's eyes. Society's, yes, Gods, no. Our value is not physical. The physical is just the vehicle for transport through life. Because we are physical, it seems suffering physically is to be expected. But....what we don't expect is HOW MUCH SUFFERING some have to endure.

The reason I can unequivocally say a resounding NO!!!! to the OP, is that His grace is sufficient. Grace is unlimited. It requires us to obtain it through prayer AND the sacraments, yes, but God's grace is not limited by severity of suffering. It is limited and impeded by ME. By my disposition, attitude and interior stubbornness. When really low physically, not able to do anything, it is essential I turn my thoughts, attentions, intentions, to God and not allow my infirmities to dictate to my heart. Especially since I am of clear mind and my mental faculties are neither clouded or muddied by meds or any other obstacle. Even then, God knows what I am capable or not capable of.
To board the struggle bus: no whining, board with a smile, a fake one will be found out and put off at next stop, no maps, no directions, going only one way, one destination. Follow all rules and you will arrive. Drop off at pearly gate. Bring nothing.

Miriam_M

#24
Quote from: mikemac on April 24, 2018, 11:59:05 AM

Chess you say you are not worthy to receive the Holy Eucharist.    


I.  No one is.  Even the Saints were not.  Certainly no one on this forum is "worthy."  (I know you know that, Mike.)

And that's just a phony excuse, I'm sorry.  Refusing the sacraments is refusing God's mercy and deliberately holding on to our sins because it gives us some kind of perverse satisfaction to do so. 

II. Ches further excuses his refusal of the Sacraments due to "listening to Fr. Ripperger's sermons" (and supposedly "feeling even worse" because of them, or something).  That won't fly for any of us who have listened to 30 or more of those sermons.  Among those I have listened to, in two of them so far Fr. R mentions the sin of usurpation.   Usurpation is ascribing to oneself what is God's alone; that is, denying that God has the power to forgive ALL sin.  If you do not believe that He has the power to forgive every sin that could possibly be committed, no matter how vile, you either:

do not believe in God, because among the attributes of God are His limitless power, His limitless mercy; you believe in a fake, puny, impotent God not worth worshipping.  When we do this to God we are merely projecting our impotence onto Him.

or

you think you are above God.  (That goes to usurpation.)  You believe that you have the authority, or should have the authority, to deny Him His Almighty Power and sovereignty over your soul and the souls of all others, which would include His ability and desire to forgive ALL sins.  So you can supplant God.   Just wow.

III.  Feelings, by themselves, are not sins.  Feelings are also not equivalent to moral theology.  Feeling loathsome (because one's body feels loathsome, or one's mind, or both) does not mean that one IS loathsome to God.

IV. 
Quote from: mikemac on April 24, 2018, 11:59:05 AM
I mean we can't help someone that refuses to go to Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist.

Yes, because the only person who can overcome Ches' defeatism is Ches.  We can't receive the Sacraments for him.     "Fighting" discouragement is not about engaging in human struggle; it's about surrendering to the grace that is uniquely in the Sacraments, not available by infusion on a discussion forum.  It's not any more true for Ches than it is for the rest of the human race.  The power is God's, not Ches', not forum members'.  Again, if Ches thinks he is unique and "special," then he thinks he is better than the rest of the human race or at least separate from the rest of humanity.  The entire human race is fallen.  He is not specially, uniquely, magnificently fallen.

Quote from: mikemac on April 24, 2018, 11:59:05 AM

How has two years of coddling Chess by you and other women on this forum helped Chess over that time?  It hasn't.  You ladies try to help but he always seems to find fault with that help.

Which is why I'm done with the enabling, because it's not charity.  Tired of his substituting participation on a discussion forum for reception of the Sacraments and spiritual direction from a priest.  No priests here, to my knowledge.  Fr. Cekada is a member but he hasn't posted in a while.  All the free, remote spiritual direction is just a set-up for Ches to deny that God is God.

Done with that.  I'm not participating in mocking God or entertaining blasphemy.  It's also a form of scandal.

Chestertonian

@ Miriam

there are a lot of reasonswhy I do feel different from everyone else because i cannot participate in the basic human things most people (especially catholics) participate in like going to mass, being part of a church, i have zilch in common with most people including my wife and my kids.  i try to relate based on my memories but my memory of "normal" gets further and further away.  you think i think i'm better than everyone?  far from it.  i just dont know how to interpret this isolation from the church and from others as anything other than wanted to punish me

also with receiving holy communion worthily---why do we use that phrasing if no one is worthy?  How are we ever worthy in our unworthiness?  it's a paradox.  when people like Maximillian and Pon de Replay talk about how the old way or receiving holy communion is better (once a year because we are so unworthy and holy communion is only for the especially devout) than it becoems a no brainer that i shouldnt receive and i also shouldn't receive at any point because what is it about Easter that makes us magically OK to receive holy communion.  for these catholics it was Lent that made them worthy--going through a period of purification and penance.  But if Lent is mostly meaningless because you can't eat and you cant do a lot of penances and there isnt a whole lot left to give up because God has taken away everything good in your life.... like this past lent i was thinking...i could give up watching TV or movies but those dont reallly give me much of an escape anymore.  Or music.  music doesnt really make me happy anymore.  So what is it about easter.

@ james... i had to LOL at your talk about manliness and then being told that i should spend a week weeping, haha.  I didn't grow up with validation and I wasn't allowed to cry as a kid.  I think this is how most catholic dads raise their kids.  Not how I am raising mine--i think my son has a lot he can cry about and I don't begrudge him for it when he does.

I don't have type 2 diabetes I have type 1.  they're completely different things and you cannot reverse type 1.  the only thing I take is insulin for that.  I can't eat food anymore so "eating protein and cutting out carbs" makes me ???????  Been on testosterone shots biweekly for years (around the same time they revoked my man card, haha).  been there done that. 

i get my nutrition from an IV in my chest and also a feeding tube.  I cannot swallow anymore.  I don't have that kind of mobility in my arms.  most of my PT is passive range of motion and handling being in a sitting/standing position without passing out.  working on retaining speech /communication has been my main focus.  some of your advice is great, like i will have to look into the thing about finding child abusers on the internet, and i will have to look into that self authoring suite, have heard good things about it as well.  Unfortunately the 'future' part is completely uncertain and I think I have good reason to not be optimistic. 

@ munda

i think what complicates things for me is that I worry about imperfections becoming venial sins and venial sins becoming mortal sins

like what if complaining is a mortal sin for me?  What if crying becomes a mortal sin?  what if anxiety is a mortal sin?  what if I ask God forr graces and mercy and he says "no, I hate you, go away" God isnt a slot machine where we ask him for what we want and we're guaranteed to get it.  that's what so scary about relying on God--the uncertainty.
"I am not much of a Crusader, that is for sure, but at least I am not a Mohamedist!"

Gardener

There's nothing wrong with crying when there's something to cry about. It's as wrong to burst into tears because of an insignificant thing as it is to not cry over something major.
"If anyone does not wish to have Mary Immaculate for his Mother, he will not have Christ for his Brother." - St. Maximilian Kolbe

Chestertonian

#27
Quote from: Gardener on April 25, 2018, 12:34:48 PM
There's nothing wrong with crying when there's something to cry about. It's as wrong to burst into tears because of an insignificant thing as it is to not cry over something major.

In my upbringing there were no things that were worth crying about.  How many of us were told "stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about"

only sociallyacceptable emotion for men is anger.  Music was the only way for me to express the whole range of human emotions

How do you decide if it's "worth crying about"
"I am not much of a Crusader, that is for sure, but at least I am not a Mohamedist!"

Miriam_M

Quote from: Chestertonian on April 25, 2018, 11:16:25 AM
like what if complaining is a mortal sin for me?  What if crying becomes a mortal sin?  what if anxiety is a mortal sin?  what if I ask God forr graces and mercy and he says "no, I hate you, go away" God isnt a slot machine where we ask him for what we want and we're guaranteed to get it.  that's what so scary about relying on God--the uncertainty.

You should realize that in those questions you're asking if we believe that God is a monster, is hateful, or is some caricature of a tyrant.  No, we don't believe that because all of that is blasphemy.

Now let's come to heresy -- the heresy that suggests that God changes: He's loving to some (everyone but you), hateful to others.  Not possible because that would be a vengeful pagan God or a capricious God of antiquity, not the God who became man and died for you because He loved you so much even though He saw all of your sins in advance, and He can see right now that you are questioning His omnipotence and doubting His mercy and generosity.

So when you stop asking me to verify blasphemy and heresy, I'll have an adult and rational conversation with you, worthy of your intelligence and education.

Mono no aware

Quote from: Chestertonian on April 25, 2018, 11:16:25 AMalso with receiving holy communion worthily---why do we use that phrasing if no one is worthy?  How are we ever worthy in our unworthiness?  it's a paradox.  when people like Maximillian and Pon de Replay talk about how the old way or receiving holy communion is better (once a year because we are so unworthy and holy communion is only for the especially devout) than it becoems a no brainer that i shouldnt receive and i also shouldn't receive at any point because what is it about Easter that makes us magically OK to receive holy communion.  for these catholics it was Lent that made them worthy--going through a period of purification and penance.  But if Lent is mostly meaningless because you can't eat and you cant do a lot of penances and there isnt a whole lot left to give up because God has taken away everything good in your life.... like this past lent i was thinking...i could give up watching TV or movies but those dont reallly give me much of an escape anymore.  Or music.  music doesnt really make me happy anymore.  So what is it about easter.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to make a retraction.  I was extreme in my views, and I placed my own likes and preferences over the authority of the Church.  For a Catholic, that is wrong.  I'm sorry for having effected you negatively, and I apologize.  But your problem is that you're taking my former views to a conclusion I never would have.  I no longer care about the debate over frequent communion, of course, since I now view it as a mere sectarian squabble, but even when I did care, if you read that old thread, I cited writers like Thomas à Kempis who held up frequent communion as the ideal.  If you are a believing Catholic, then you should desire to positively strive for that ideal.  You nevertheless must meet the minimum requirement of at least once a year.  Easter, as far as I can make out, is simply the "deadline" that the Church has established.  I don't know that there's ever been said to be something "magical" about this deadline, but in terms of the rhythms and aesthetics of the liturgical year, it does make the most sense that a person would be inspired to repentance at that time. 

The requirement of the Easter duty has been solemnly established.  You have one year, every year, to get it together and meet that minimum.  If your view is that it is not possible for you to meet that requirement, then you're saying that the Church is setting a bar for you that you cannot reach; you're effectively saying that God demands the impossible.  At that point you would no longer have a religion.  St. Augustine said the root words of religion were reeligere (to seek again) and religare (to bind again).  The stated point of the whole Catholic religion is for the believer to turn away from sin and "seek God again," and for the Church and the sacraments to "bind you back" to the state of grace.  If you think this can't be done by a given Catholic according to the terms in which the Church says it can, then you implicitly don't consider Catholicism the religion it claims to be.  You're just left with an abstract; a philosophy, really, concerning a God who hates you. 

I'm not trying to hop onto the "get tough with Chestertonian week" bandwagon, but I do appreciate how some posters might consider your take on this as scandalous.  I recognize that your situation and your medications are deleterious to letting you think about all this logically, but your first obligation should be to wonder why your own view is so opposed to your co-religionists.  Not even the most rigorist hair-shirted Jansenist is recommending that you shirk your Easter duty; or certainly I never did.  If I gave the impression that it was a "no brainer" to not receive communion at all, then I can only remind you that such a conclusion is one hundred percent at odds with Catholicism, which again says that you must, at least once a year.  You need to resolve this logical disconnect.  Pax.