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I think part of the reason for scrupulosity...

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Especially for converts is the lack of clarity or different priests giving different opinions online regarding sin. For example, for a former Protestant like myself, when I read a trad priest online state things like leggings on very young children is mortally sinful, or going to the beach or pool is mortally sinful, Disney movies are sinful etc this quite rightly frightens people because none of this stuff seems to the average person to even be close to mortally sinful. So you have this confused convert walking around wondering what other normal everyday things COULD be sinful because it seems like everything is all of a sudden.

I feel kind of like Iím being gaslit by people saying yeah your scrupulous when I never was before becoming Catholic and having all of this seemingly innocent stuff in my life end up somehow being gravely sinful. So then I go to confession with a huge list of sins or questions about potentially sinful things in my life that I could be missing just to be sure since all the other ďmortal sinsĒ listed above werenít totally obvious to me or 99.9 percent of other Catholics.

Yeah, you are not wrong.

You should focus less on the sermons by priests online and more on good, level-headed saints like St Francis de Sales.  I think reading "Intro to the Devout Life" is a must for you.  I think it'd help even things out, as you grow in the Faith. 

The priest is right and he is wrong.  He is right that neglecting the modesty of your children is grave matter.  What he misses is that you have to know it is wrong.  So in a lot of cases it is not mortal sin.  His problem is his approach.  He should instead be preaching how neglecting modesty as a parent is gravely wrong.  If the parents keep doing it, THEN it is mortal sin.

Coming from a Prot world, you didn't get much of an education in sin.  I'm in a Prot heavy place.  Protestantism is more of a big social club more than a religion.  I know of a Catholic who sent his kids to public school.  Very Prot heavy town.  His kids were around the second grade. He discovered that the kids were being taught about faggot lifestyle of just being an option.  He sent the evidence via email to all of the other parents.  They did absolutely nothing because that would upset the Prot social apple cart. So he pulled his kid and made the sacrifice for private school.

So I'm not surprised that you would experience this culture shock.  Yes, don't aclimate your little kids into dressing like sluts.  That will then be the norm for high school and your teenagers will fornicate.

Also, Disney movies are trash and promote feminism.  The older ones are ok, but today they are a horror.

But again, the approach was wrong by the priest.

I second the recommendation to read St. Francis de Sales for a more balanced approach.

Iím not talking about kids dressing like adult streetwalkers, Iím talking about way prepubescent children wearing a normal shirt and leggings like all other normal children do and nobody even thinks twice that it could be immodest because a normal person doesnít sexualize little children. Iíve ran this same question through three different priests with assurance itís not by any means a sin for a small child to dress like this. So who do I believe! See this is the confusion that makes me almost want to give up. I just want to raise my kids normally and not have them go off the deep end and hate me when they are older for forcing them to dress like Laura Ingalls Wilder because in the opinion of one priest leggings are sinful. These priests likewise said Disney is fine and itís better they watch these things when you can guide them they the morality then have them see them later and not have the teaching opportunity.

Do you know what our friends and family would think if we told them that the beach was sinful to visit? They would say Iíve lost my mind. Beaches and pools can be occasions of sin for SOME people but unless itís a proximate occasion one isnít bound to avoid it. Iíve checked this one out too and again he said obviously donít go where thereís like drunk spring breakers but thereís nothing inherently sinful about these places.

I guess my frustration lies with the extreme voices out there that donít realize how much damage they cause to people like me.

One of my children had a lesbian teacher in third grade. I was worried and asked a priest and he said I didnít have to remove her from school because she wasnít preaching her lifestyle to the kids, and homeschooling was mentally impossible for me at the time due to stress and suicidal thoughts.  I hope I didnít sin by listening to him but I dont think my child even knew anything. I only found out by looking at the teachers Facebook page

@TandJ I feel for you, I really do. As a cradle Catholic I had my Faith handed to me by my two knowledgeable parents, who never were of the Laura Ingalls mentality. I wasn't sheltered, although I was homeschooled. In the world but not of it kind of thing. I was taught to know the evils surrounding us, and recognize that they are evil, but also taught that I would be in the world when I grew up, and would have to deal with them. If you make your kids the weird ones at school, and their experience with Catholicism is being ostracized by their peers and being made fun of ALL the time, of course they are going to hate it, and leave whenever they get the chance. But public school is really no place for your kids, I've seen some of my Catholic peers go to public school, and they left the Faith when they were 16ish. On the pools issue, if you have little boys it really is not the best thing to bring them to these places; little dudes grow into big dudes who like girls. They are going to be exposed to it, sure, but deliberately putting them in a dangerous occasion of sin is not wise I think.

I cannot imagine becoming a convert in this day and age, it would be mega stressful, what with the situation in the Church, our own little stagnant trad parishes with their healthy accumulation of weirdos, and the many, many conflicting things people will tell you to do. Praying for you!


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