Separate property in marriage?

[christulsa]

Why on Earth would you not pay for your date's dinner?  Most any decent Catholic woman would see that as yet another Red Flag.  Do you understand why?

[coffeeandcigarette]

Planning for the divorce before  the wedding tends to be a romance killer.

It doesn't have all to do with divorce. It would allow me to sell, refinance, or buy without her permission during the marriage.

Most husbands don't ask for their wives permission to make financial decisions period. They discuss it, and may seek some advice/perspective, but usually guys make the ultimate decisions on stuff like that.

[coffeeandcigarette]

That's a bold accusation against trad priests. Care to elaborate on that?

It's hardly bold...I didn't give name or generalize. I said I have seen cases... I'm not going to give names, but I know of a few instances where the wives were completely destroying their marriages, and treating their husbands horribly, and the priest agreed with them and told the husbands to get lost...it was very sad.

[GiftOfGod]

Why on Earth would you not pay for your date's dinner? 

Because I don't pay for companionship. Trust me, this isn't the reason. This was discussed beforehand and the women brought money. I had to teach some of them to pay for a meal at a restaurant and she thanked me for that. Again, trust me, it's not a problem. Not with secular women and not even for trad women. If I didn't have this policy, then I would have paid for hundreds and hundreds of dinners for women who then and now mean nothing to me. Let's not turn this into a debate on "going Dutch".

Most husbands don't ask for their wives permission to make financial decisions period. They discuss it, and may seek some advice/perspective, but usually guys make the ultimate decisions on stuff like that.

In community property states, both spouses must consent to purchases, sales, and loans with property used as collateral UNLESS it involved sole and separate property. So if my rental is community property and my wife decided "No, I'm not going to let you refinance the rental." then I'd be screwed.

I said I have seen cases... I'm not going to give names, but I know of a few instances where the wives were completely destroying their marriages, and treating their husbands horribly, and the priest agreed with them and told the husbands to get lost...it was very sad.

What organization are these priests a part of? Care to elaborate on the situations because your statement makes traditional priests look bad.

[james03]

Rule number 1:  A woman picks up a man through his eyes.  A man picks up a woman through her ears.

You're wrong. Please familiarize yourself with the basics of community property law before you speak of it. Also, please learn how to use the quote system so you don't have to make four posts in a row.

Snark is about the worst thing you can do.  Never do it, even when you aren't trying to pick up a woman.  It can become a habit, and burn you.  You also have an attitude problem.  You can get defensive about my statement, or you can improve yourself.  The Virtue of Humility is the key that unlocks progress in a man.  The best discussion of it is in The Four Cardinal Virtues by Peiper.  Without humility, you will stagnate.  Without humility, you can become defensive.  You can resort to snark.  You can take things personally.  Without humility, you are weak.

[GiftOfGod]

Rule number 1:  A woman picks up a man through his eyes.  A man picks up a woman through her ears.

You're wrong. Please familiarize yourself with the basics of community property law before you speak of it. Also, please learn how to use the quote system so you don't have to make four posts in a row.

Snark is about the worst thing you can do.  Never do it, even when you aren't trying to pick up a woman.  It can become a habit, and burn you.  You also have an attitude problem.  You can get defensive about my statement, or you can improve yourself.  The Virtue of Humility is the key that unlocks progress in a man.  The best discussion of it is in The Four Cardinal Virtues by Peiper.  Without humility, you will stagnate.  Without humility, you can become defensive.  You can resort to snark.  You can take things personally.  Without humility, you are weak.

The dictionary definition of snark: critical or mocking comments made in an indirect or sarcastic way. I was critical but I wasn't mocking. I also didn't make the critical comments in an indirect or sarcastic way. Others in this thread have been snarky but that is something that I have never been accused of because I am never sarcastic, I never mock, and I am always direct.

[james03]

If I didn't have this policy, then I would have paid for hundreds and hundreds of dinners for women who then and now mean nothing to me.

Wait, this makes absolutely no sense.  Even allowing for artistic license, a man who has gone on tons of dinner dates would have the experience NOT to talk about marriage on the 3rd freaking date.  Were these "eating together as friends" kind of deals?  If so, I concur you would not pick up the tab.  But in that case, quit going out with women as friends.  If you are just trying to socialize, hang out with your male friends.

[coffeeandcigarette]

In community property states, both spouses must consent to purchases, sales, and loans with property used as collateral UNLESS it involved sole and separate property. So if my rental is community property and my wife decided "No, I'm not going to let you refinance the rental." then I'd be screwed.

Who on earth are you dating that this would happen? Are you considering marrying an unreasonable women who is going to be in charge of the finances in your home? Trust me, if she has any children she won't have any time to give a hoot what you do with your house; if she is homeschooling, she will forget you own one.

What organization are these priests a part of? Care to elaborate on the situations because your statement makes traditional priests look bad.

  No, I will not elaborate. Suffice it to say, it happens. My point was to agree with Max, and state that I had witnessed this firsthand, not to give you a tour of the seedy underbelly of trad-land. You know that nobody is perfect, if my statement means that sometimes priests, even good ones, make mistakes, than it shouldn't be a revelation. I never said it was rampant, I never said I saw it all the time. I said I had seen it a few times, and I have. 

[christulsa]

Why on Earth would you not pay for your date's dinner? 

Because I don't pay for companionship. Trust me, this isn't the reason. This was discussed beforehand and the women brought money. I had to teach some of them to pay for a meal at a restaurant and she thanked me for that. Again, trust me, it's not a problem. Not with secular women and not even for trad women. If I didn't have this policy, then I would have paid for hundreds and hundreds of dinners for women who then and now mean nothing to me. Let's not turn this into a debate on "going Dutch".

Ok, you're officially starting to creep me out, dude. 

We've got a nutter troll on our hands.

[GiftOfGod]

Again, Coffeeandcigarette, please learn how to use the quote function.

If I didn't have this policy, then I would have paid for hundreds and hundreds of dinners for women who then and now mean nothing to me.

Wait, this makes absolutely no sense.  Even allowing for artistic license, a man who has gone on tons of dinner dates would have the experience NOT to talk about marriage on the 3rd freaking date.  Were these "eating together as friends" kind of deals?  If so, I concur you would not pick up the tab.  But in that case, quit going out with women as friends.  If you are just trying to socialize, hang out with your male friends.

I don't know how it doesn't make sense to you. Secular dating isn't as marriage-oriented as trad dating (which some call "courtship"). And I'll have you know that it's women who talk about marriage first and most often, not in the sense of marrying me but just talking about the subject. Single trad women want to get married, James, as you probably know.

Why on Earth would you not pay for your date's dinner? 

Because I don't pay for companionship. Trust me, this isn't the reason. This was discussed beforehand and the women brought money. I had to teach some of them to pay for a meal at a restaurant and she thanked me for that. Again, trust me, it's not a problem. Not with secular women and not even for trad women. If I didn't have this policy, then I would have paid for hundreds and hundreds of dinners for women who then and now mean nothing to me. Let's not turn this into a debate on "going Dutch".

Ok, you're officially starting to creep me out, dude. 

We've got a nutter troll on our hands.

That might work on some men but I don't recoil from insults, especially coming from women. It's interesting that your first dates from years ago mean so much to you. What does your husband think of this?

[GiftOfGod]

I never said it was rampant, I never said I saw it all the time. I said I had seen it a few times, and I have.

You said "Even trad priests are very supportive of divorce." What does that leave in the mind of whoever reads that?

[coffeeandcigarette]

That might work on some men but I don't recoil from insults, especially coming from women. It's interesting that your first dates from years ago mean so much to you. What does your husband think of this?

[christulsa]

You must have anti-social personality disorder, or maybe narcissistic personality disorder, IF even then these women, including the Catholic ones, "meant nothing to you."

[GiftOfGod]

You must have anti-social personality disorder, or maybe narcissistic personality disorder, IF even then these women, including the Catholic ones, "meant nothing to you."

You don't have the qualifications to make a diagnosis of mental illness. You've also never met me, which is a requirement to make mental health diagnoses. Now I don't know why you think first dates have to mean something to me but your placement of women on a pedestal is sad. At least you edited/deleted your calumny against me regarding homosexuality. Make sure to bring it up in confession and mention that you didn't apologize and also lobbed unfounded accusations of mental illness.

[christulsa]

It was an IF/THEN statement.  IF you meant what you said, THEN that suggests a disorder in your personality.  You'd agree if anyone else here made the same statement.

So do you lift?