Dove Bar Tyranny

[Alphonsus Jr.]

The toxicity of this age really is unavoidable! Just now I finished a Dove bar. On the inside of the wrapper I was then greeted with the following Oprahism:

"Forget the rules and follow your heart."

I then almost vomited up the chocolate.

How much more of this must we endure?! As you know, this seductive nonsense is very much part of today's diabolical inversion, which places subjective whim above the objective order. This new primacy of the subjective of course wraps itself in angelic garb, such that those who refuse to submit to its sentimentalist tyranny are doomed to be widely seen as themselves toxic ogres. No, friends, it's no accident that this chocolate was wrapped under the label Dove, symbol of the Holy Ghost.

How many lives are wrecked day-by-day by this "follow your heart" poison! Do you love, really love people? Then tell them the forbidden truth; namely, that the LAST thing that those whose souls are in disorder should do is "follow their heart." Instead they should make it their all-consuming mission to acquire wisdom and thus overcome subjective whim. Yet making such a decision surely does presuppose a certain measure of order. I'm confident that you, dear reader, possess it. Won't you join me in this quest?

On the bright side, the dark choco was indeed wonderful. But my heart did tell me to vomit it up. I resisted.

"Forget the rules and follow your heart."

Is this not also a rule? Forget it.

[OCLittleFlower]

You think that's bad, you should see their beauty product ads.

I have, and I've concluded that their products make one fat and ugly.   :tongue:

[Eliza]

Follow your heart? The heart is so often deceitful. Its full of bad ideas. Dove gives stupid advice. Out of the countless dove chocolates I have unwrapped over the years, I've not found one sound piece of advice. Same with fortune cookies. It's all self serving rubbish.

[Alphonsus Jr.]

You think that's bad, you should see their beauty product ads.

I have, and I've concluded that their products make one fat and ugly.   :tongue:

[Alphonsus Jr.]

Follow your heart? The heart is so often deceitful. Its full of bad ideas. Dove gives stupid advice. Out of the countless dove chocolates I have unwrapped over the years, I've not found one sound piece of advice. Same with fortune cookies. It's all self serving rubbish.

Well said indeed.

Actually this is the first time I've noticed any advice in a Dove wrapper. I'll henceforth be on alert.

[OCLittleFlower]

You think that's bad, you should see their beauty product ads.

I have, and I've concluded that their products make one fat and ugly.   :tongue:

Well aren't beauty product ads supposed to show the best case of what might happen to you if you use them?

[Alphonsus Jr.]

Well aren't beauty product ads supposed to show the best case of what might happen to you if you use them?

True!

I just like that little face.

[Bonaventure]

There are better chocolates out there, Alfie.

[Alphonsus Jr.]

There are better chocolates out there, Alfie.

True. I was feeling cheap.

[Spooky]

Just now I finished a Dove bar.

Well, there's your problem. You need to eat more manly chocolate. May I suggest Lindt?

Also, the Dove soap is a completely different company than the one that makes the ice cream and chocolate (Unilever and Mars, respectively)

[kayla_veronica]

You think that's bad, you should see their beauty product ads.

I have, and I've concluded that their products make one fat and ugly.   :tongue:

Oh that's what it is.....darn soap....

Seriously though, they are trying to do is use more average looking women for their advertising to make a point. They all have very nice skin. I think it works.

[OCLittleFlower]

You think that's bad, you should see their beauty product ads.

I have, and I've concluded that their products make one fat and ugly.   :tongue:

Oh that's what it is.....darn soap....

Seriously though, they are trying to do is use more average looking women for their advertising to make a point. They all have very nice skin. I think it works.

Companies that try to make a point like this annoy me.  Just admit it -- you're selling a product.  Seems more honest to just be up front that you're selling a beauty product.  Don't try to sell size acceptance or what not.  I don't want to see average models in a beauty ad anymore than I want to see average homes in a decorating magazine.

[OCLittleFlower]

]Also, the Dove soap is a completely different company than the one that makes the ice cream and chocolate (Unilever and Mars, respectively)

Ahhh interesting.  Thanks.

I thought it was odd that the soap company would be selling chocolate haha.

[erin is nice]

The Dove models aren't "fat".

[Alphonsus Jr.]

The Dove models aren't "fat".

I have seen some fatties among them. Very fat indeed. Notice: not "fat."