Relationship bw a Trad Catholic and a Greek Orthodox Catholic

[PatienceAndLove]

I ask because I have met and gone out with a gentleman twice in the last month. I very much enjoy his company. I am now trying to decide whether or not continuing in a good idea.

He was raised Greek Orthodox. Some recent life events have kept him from attending the Divine Liturgy, but he plans to go back this up coming Sunday.

Anyway... thoughts/opinions on continuing to see him?

And any overviews of differences in theology would be very helpful :-)

TIA!

[LausTibiChriste]

My tough love advice would be to stop it now. It's just not worth the heart ache down the road - unless there are some very clear signs of a forthcoming conversion it will just cause problems. Maybe I'm being pessimistic but I'm having a hard enough time as it is dating a very conservative NOer. I try to be optimistic, but there's only so much time one can spend dating hoping for an outcome which, practically speaking, won't happen. If Tradition matters to you, marry a Trad.

[Penelope]

Is he Orthodox or is he Catholic? He can't be both.

[Kaesekopf]

I wouldn't recommend it.

He stopped attending liturgy?  Unless he was hospitalized, I'd be concerned.

Plus the EO business... 

Recipe for disaster.

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[queen.saints]

I ask because I have met and gone out with a gentleman twice in the last month. I very much enjoy his company. I am now trying to decide whether or not continuing in a good idea.

He was raised Greek Orthodox. Some recent life events have kept him from attending the Divine Liturgy, but he plans to go back this up coming Sunday.

Anyway... thoughts/opinions on continuing to see him?

And any overviews of differences in theology would be very helpful :-)

TIA!

I completely understand your dilemma. Orthodox men are incredibly attractive and there's so much debate between the two sides, with so many good points on both, that it can be tempting to just give in. However, at the end of the day, he can get divorced and you can't. Even more importantly, he doesn't believe in Purgatory and won't pray for your soul if you die first.

[Limoncello]

I have a friend who's Greek Orthodox. What I've learned from her is that they are shockingly like trads in many ways. I'm just going to leave that at that.

I guess I'm the voice of dissent here, but I'd say that if you share morals and he's a good man then go ahead and see where it goes. If it's important to you that he's goes the TLM, maybe he'll end up considering it, or maybe you'll be able to work something out down the road in some other way. There are mixed marriages that work, but obviously not for a Catholic if one person, say, wants to live together for two years or use contraception or whatever. My friend mentioned once that the Orthodox don't find contraception immoral.

Otherwise, from what I've seen, they love their Facebook debates about obscure theological texts in dead languages just as much the next person.

[queen.saints]

I have a friend who's Greek Orthodox. What I've learned from her is that they are shockingly like trads in many ways. I'm just going to leave that at that.

I guess I'm the voice of dissent here, but I'd say that if you share morals and he's a good man then go ahead and see where it goes. If it's important to you that he's goes the TLM, maybe he'll end up considering it, or maybe you'll be able to work something out down the road in some other way. There are mixed marriages that work, but obviously not for a Catholic if one person, say, wants to live together for two years or use contraception or whatever. My friend mentioned once that the Orthodox don't find contraception immoral.

Otherwise, from what I've seen, they love their Facebook debates about obscure theological texts in dead languages just as much the next person.

Lol!!! This made me laugh so hard! That's definitely true.
I kind of agree with the rest of your post. There's definitely so much to work with and you might be able to come to an understanding. The Orthodox are really, really traditional in some ways. On the other hand, it can happen that your walking along, ladeda, the Orthodox are so cool, so Catholic, when WHAM!!! you run into a brick wall. Contraception, wham, divorce, wham, purgatory, wham, prayer, wham! And as you walk away with a bloody nose, you realize there's really a lot of obstacles.

[PatienceAndLove]

Well- considering I am
1) annulled
2) have a child
3) not able to move from NWPA

... my choices on trad men are super slim
Those I do come across balk at me having a child, and then run away screaming when they hear that I am annulled

Next time he and I chat, I will bring up the possibility of him attending the EF with me in Pitt.

And I will take into consideration what y'all have said. I appreciate y'all taking the time to respond :-)

[Bonaventure]

If Tradition matters to you, marry a Trad.

I know what you mean, but phrasing it this way cheapens what tradition and being a "traditional" Catholic means. Catholic is Catholic. Word games and semantics do matter.

I wouldn't recommend it.

He stopped attending liturgy?  Unless he was hospitalized, I'd be concerned.

Plus the EO business... 

Recipe for disaster.

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I am surprised to hear this from you.

I have a friend who's Greek Orthodox. What I've learned from her is that they are shockingly like trads in many ways. I'm just going to leave that at that.

I guess I'm the voice of dissent here, but I'd say that if you share morals and he's a good man then go ahead and see where it goes. If it's important to you that he's goes the TLM, maybe he'll end up considering it, or maybe you'll be able to work something out down the road in some other way. There are mixed marriages that work, but obviously not for a Catholic if one person, say, wants to live together for two years or use contraception or whatever. My friend mentioned once that the Orthodox don't find contraception immoral.

Otherwise, from what I've seen, they love their Facebook debates about obscure theological texts in dead languages just as much the next person.

This is the best advice on the thread, and I recommend the same. Give it a try and see where it goes. You'll reach a certain point where things cannot continue unless religious differences are solved. If there's not a conversion, or if he won't sign then paper, then worry about it.

The rush to end it after two meager dates is due to not wanting you to get hurt emotionally, and the temptation to cave once the heart gets involved. With regards to the former, you've noted the slim pickings. A chance, however slim, of marital bliss will shine out, and there is a legitimate shot here.

As to the latter, you are a mature adult. Any Catholic can switch up on anything because of passions. An extremely erudite, learned man the pope named Defender of the Faith did so.

[UA1997]

I have been dating a Baptist girl for 2 years so I know what I'm talking about. I would say at least give it a shot.
The thing about todays society is that it is hard to just find a morally correct religious person. If you only look for trads, you'll be waiting your whole life.
The standards would be a guy be
1. trad
2. physically attractive
3. good personality
4. emotionally connect with you
5. both fit in with each others families
6. mature
Youre not going to find the trad Ryan Gosling. Options are limited for all of us so you should give him a chance and pray to God that he converts.

[Bonaventure]

I have been dating a Baptist girl for 2 years so I know what I'm talking about. I would say at least give it a shot.

Would you say that you could make any serious prediction after just two dates in one month? You are going on two years.

The thing about todays society is that it is hard to just find a morally correct religious person. If you only look for trads, you'll be waiting your whole life.
The standards would be a guy be
1. trad
2. physically attractive
3. good personality
4. emotionally connect with you
5. both fit in with each others families
6. mature

That's why it's a roll of the dice that you and I can take.

Youre not going to find the trad Ryan Gosling. Options are limited for all of us so you should give him a chance and pray to God that he converts.

Amen.

[RealPresents]

Is he Orthodox or is he Catholic? He can't be both.

[OCLittleFlower]

I have a friend who's Greek Orthodox. What I've learned from her is that they are shockingly like trads in many ways. I'm just going to leave that at that.

I guess I'm the voice of dissent here, but I'd say that if you share morals and he's a good man then go ahead and see where it goes. If it's important to you that he's goes the TLM, maybe he'll end up considering it, or maybe you'll be able to work something out down the road in some other way. There are mixed marriages that work, but obviously not for a Catholic if one person, say, wants to live together for two years or use contraception or whatever. My friend mentioned once that the Orthodox don't find contraception immoral.

Otherwise, from what I've seen, they love their Facebook debates about obscure theological texts in dead languages just as much the next person.

For friendship purposes, the average Traditional Catholic will probably get along better with the average Orthodox person than with the average modernist in the NO pews.  I certainly do.

I still couldn't bring myself to marry outside the faith, though -- and those little bugaboos about contraception, divorce, purgatory, where to baptize the kids, etc, etc, etc matter a lot more when it comes to a spouse than a friend.  With a friend, it's someone who respects liturgical beauty and traditions and has good family values -- with a husband, the little differences matter a lot more, especially considering that a husband needs to lead the family when it comes to faith.

[Parresia]

Two dates is nothing more than a good start.  There is absolutely no need to make any decisions now.  I agree with the advice above to see where it goes. 

[Jayne]

I have been dating a Baptist girl for 2 years so I know what I'm talking about. I would say at least give it a shot.

You are making a mistake and advising another to make the same mistake.  How can a relationship work with a person whom one expects to go to hell?  This is what the Church teaches about heretics and schismatics. 

Never marry or get seriously involved with a person in the hopes that s/he will change.  If the person does not change, you have a lifetime of disappointment and pain to look forward to.  It is better to be single.