How to know if something is God's will or not

Started by Bernadette, September 22, 2024, 06:05:20 PM

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Bonaventure

Quote from: Bernadette on September 22, 2024, 06:05:20 PMI haven't mentioned this to my aunt as a motivating factor in my wanting to move there, because she wouldn't understand. But it's definitely a consideration.

You need to mention it. Whether she understands or cares, or not.

If someone wanted to move to Brooklyn, and the pizza were a motivating factor, then it is what it is. Whether I understand, or think it silly, it doesn't matter.
Put not your trust in princes, in sons of men in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to his earth; on that very day his plans perish.

Bonaventure

#16
Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 06:54:07 AM
Quote from: Greg on September 23, 2024, 02:23:13 AMYou seem to complain a great deal about this old batchelor, yet you're going to live in his house.  I assume in some sense you and your aunt gain out of the deal.

I bet he's over the moon to have a couple of females living there with him intent on changing his habits.

He will love that.
He's gay. So he's not a bachelor in the normal sense. You make a lot of assumptions here, Greg. The only thing I would gain would be access to a Latin Mass. In other ways, I would lose. My aunt would gain in that she wouldn't have to live in the South anymore, which she has never liked. And he has said that he sincerely hopes that we decide to live with him. He wouldn't have asked us if he didn't want us to come.
Edited.

Just because he's gay, doesn't mean he wouldn't mind the companionship, perhaps viewing you as helping with chores, bills, etc.

In order for me to give a well rounded opinion, would need to know more. How close are you to him? What would the expectations be? Rent? Cleaning? Chores? Etc.

That all has a huge impact. Totally separate issue from how he is as a man. If he is lazy, etc.

He could be a model citizen, yet if he has tyrannical expectations, it'll be a nightmare.

Added: His being a homosexual, and I'm presuming practicing and not repentant or chaste or trying to work with God's grace to overcome it, is the biggest red flag. Yet, you hadn't ever mentioned it until Greg's response. That means you were either trying to avoid or hide it from yourself, and perhaps in the advice you are seeking.

It's a big deal. Blood or not.
Put not your trust in princes, in sons of men in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to his earth; on that very day his plans perish.

Mushroom


Bonaventure

Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 09:45:42 AM
Quote from: Miriam_M on September 23, 2024, 07:28:00 AM
Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 06:54:07 AMHe's gay.

That would be too difficult for me.  (Too high a price to pay.)
Occasional encounters/friendly relationships with homosexuals are one thing.  Living in it something else entirely.

For me, and for other Catholics I know locally, the rest of the day on Sunday -- even the entire weekend -- is an important aspect of being Catholic.  To come home to that after a TLM would have a significantly toxic impact. 
[...]

If you can shut out the living environment, you're made of stronger stuff than I.
I never really weighed the fact that he's gay as an issue. He's not living a gay lifestyle, so it's not like he'd be bringing men home. And he doesn't talk about it. I don't see how it would affect me, really.

If he doesn't talk about it, nor lives the lifestyle, then how do you or anyone else know about it?

If I said my uncle were a porn addict, or liked strip clubs, or visiting prostitutes, but he doesn't talk about it and I've not seen him doing these things, there would be some way for me to know about it.

His defining himself vis a vis his intrinsically disordered issue would affect you. You will be living with him.
Put not your trust in princes, in sons of men in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to his earth; on that very day his plans perish.

Bernadette

Quote from: Bonaventure on September 23, 2024, 11:57:32 AMIf he doesn't talk about it, nor lives the lifestyle, then how do you or anyone else know about it?

If I said my uncle were a porn addict, or liked strip clubs, or visiting prostitutes, but he doesn't talk about it and I've not seen him doing these things, there would be some way for me to know about it.

His defining himself vis a vis his intrinsically disordered issue would affect you. You will be living with him.
He's been gay my whole life. Used to bring his partner to Thanksgiving dinner at our house when I was a kid. Said partner died. He's no longer in a relationship.

As for what his expectations of us would be, we'll discuss those during the visit. I can work from anywhere, so that's not an issue. I would definitely pay him rent and help out with cleaning.
My Lord and my God.
Ven. Matt Talbot, pray for Tom.

Greg

#20
Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 09:45:42 AM
Quote from: Miriam_M on September 23, 2024, 07:28:00 AM
Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 06:54:07 AMHe's gay.

That would be too difficult for me.  (Too high a price to pay.)
Occasional encounters/friendly relationships with homosexuals are one thing.  Living in it something else entirely.

For me, and for other Catholics I know locally, the rest of the day on Sunday -- even the entire weekend -- is an important aspect of being Catholic.  To come home to that after a TLM would have a significantly toxic impact. 
[...]

If you can shut out the living environment, you're made of stronger stuff than I.
I never really weighed the fact that he's gay as an issue. He's not living a gay lifestyle, so it's not like he'd be bringing men home. And he doesn't talk about it. I don't see how it would affect me, really.

Why mention it then?

Not relevant to your plight.

He is a bachelor.  He fits the dictionary description of one.

My advice would be write on a piece of paper how you can help him and he can help you.   Then watch that movie "The Odd Couple" and if you still want to go ahead then do so on a trial basis.  But with basic common sense dealt with them you can just try and see what happens.

It's his home though so important to give him his space.  I'd hate it for example if someone re-arranged my tools.
If I used a ouija board as a mouse mat would my desktop computer get repossessed?

Bernadette

Quote from: Greg on September 23, 2024, 12:57:05 PM
Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 09:45:42 AM
Quote from: Miriam_M on September 23, 2024, 07:28:00 AM
Quote from: Bernadette on September 23, 2024, 06:54:07 AMHe's gay.

That would be too difficult for me.  (Too high a price to pay.)
Occasional encounters/friendly relationships with homosexuals are one thing.  Living in it something else entirely.

For me, and for other Catholics I know locally, the rest of the day on Sunday -- even the entire weekend -- is an important aspect of being Catholic.  To come home to that after a TLM would have a significantly toxic impact. 
[...]

If you can shut out the living environment, you're made of stronger stuff than I.
I never really weighed the fact that he's gay as an issue. He's not living a gay lifestyle, so it's not like he'd be bringing men home. And he doesn't talk about it. I don't see how it would affect me, really.

Why mention it then?

Not relevant to your plight.

He is a bachelor.  He fits the dictionary description of one.
Fair enough, I guess.
My Lord and my God.
Ven. Matt Talbot, pray for Tom.

Francisco Javier

A large number of 'normal' homosexuals have several hundreds of sex partners in their life.

They are men, and any gay man can have gay sex on any given day if they so choose. Just because he is not doing the 'monogamous' partner anymore, doesn't mean he's not still in the gay scene doing who knows what. Gays also use a lot of drugs. Neither of these things are likely to be shared in polite company. Be ye warned.

Bonaventure

Not to mention homosexual porn use.

I had a French homosexual apostate coworker. Knew of Abp. Lefebvre. Went on Chartres pilgrimage.

Became a sodomite, and an apostate.

One day asked me to help with something on his phone.

Handed over iPhone. I open Safari.

Immediately saw a disgusting act.
Put not your trust in princes, in sons of men in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to his earth; on that very day his plans perish.

Greg

#24
Blimey.  Let's leave old Uncle Tom alone will ya?  As far as we know he's a former queer and an old dude in his 60s or 70s.  Anyone would think he was starting up a Catholic apostolate from the way he getting kicked around and discussed here.

If I used a ouija board as a mouse mat would my desktop computer get repossessed?

diaduit

oh geez Bernadette, major red flag with the gay bit.  Sexual deviancy always brings trouble hence the reason he is an alcoholic.

Maybe God wants you there, maybe not but please keep a plan B if it all goes belly up.

james03

Quote from: MiriamBOccasional encounters/friendly relationships with homosexuals are one thing.

Women and their fag friends.  Another reason why they shouldn't vote.
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

Lynne

Quote from: james03 on September 24, 2024, 12:29:08 PM
Quote from: MiriamBOccasional encounters/friendly relationships with homosexuals are one thing.

Women and their fag friends.  Another reason why they shouldn't vote.

Oh James! I see what you did there...
In conclusion, I can leave you with no better advice than that given after every sermon by Msgr Vincent Giammarino, who was pastor of St Michael's Church in Atlantic City in the 1950s:

    "My dear good people: Do what you have to do, When you're supposed to do it, The best way you can do it,   For the Love of God. Amen"

james03

Trolling is an time honored and respectable tradition.
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

Bernadette

Quote from: Bonaventure on September 23, 2024, 03:13:37 PMI had a French homosexual apostate coworker. Knew of Abp. Lefebvre. Went on Chartres pilgrimage.

Became a sodomite, and an apostate.
I hope he finds his way home.
My Lord and my God.
Ven. Matt Talbot, pray for Tom.