If your parents were hoarders, would you report them?

Started by Hannelore, November 08, 2023, 04:04:23 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

diaduit

It is your business as his daughter and in fact more so than your Aunt.  However really there is nothing you can do and sometimes you have to let those who are in over their head with their vice, suffer their own consequences.  I say this as someone whose mother was a hoarder (not quite TV programme level but bad all the same) and an alcoholic brother who died suddenly from his addiction. 
I would almost guarantee you that you will achieve absolutely nothing by doing this and only cause a bigger rift between you and your father and lessen the chance of you being able to call a priest if he needs one.  Hold that line of communication, fragile as it is for that very moment.
The suggestion for the hospital social worker is excellent, I did this for my mother and got all sorts of help in place when she was in her final months, I had a path worn to the local public health nurse for these services and didn't get anywhere, once she stepped in, it fell into place.

Follow Gods will which may be right now, you sit quiet and wait for the moment your Dad needs a priest (just like your late grandmother, it did happen).

Hannelore

#16
QuoteFollow Gods will which may be right now, you sit quiet and wait for the moment your Dad needs a priest (just like your late grandmother, it did happen)
He did agree to accept a rosary from me, so there's hope. I've decided to send him the combat rosary that I won in Gardener's rosary contest. Dad is retired Navy, and loves military history. I explained the history behind the combat rosary and he seemed interested, so I'll send it this week. He should get it before his next surgery.
My Lord and my God.


Hannelore

My Lord and my God.

drummerboy

Quote from: Geremia on November 12, 2023, 04:54:34 PM
Quote from: Bernadette on November 08, 2023, 04:04:23 PMWhat would you do?
Help to clean up his house.

That's the most painful thing to do to a hoarder.  In their mind there's nothing to clean up.  If they were open to the help then yes, do it, but in this case it'd make matters more stressful and worse.
"My hope is the Father, my refuge is the Son, my protection is the Holy Spirit.  Holy Trinity, glory to You." 
"All my hope I place in you, O Mother of God; keep me under your protection."

diaduit

To clean up for them is like me rummaging in your nether regions....its a violation and it sends them over the edge.  I've done it, you will be blamed for them losing precious stuff and valuables.

james03

If you have a brother, he needs to go over and tell them to get it straightened out.  And the three of you then can team up and get the house cleaned.

The 15 dogs is even worse.  Sounds like the woman has fur babies.  That sounds nasty.

QuoteNow my aunt is saying that if we call animal control and the dogs are taken away, the wife would probably kill herself or do something equally drastic, and we'd be responsible.

The fur mama's threats are why she is allowed to get away with this bs.
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

Hannelore

#22
Quote from: james03 on November 13, 2023, 12:05:27 PMIf you have a brother, he needs to go over and tell them to get it straightened out.  And the three of you then can team up and get the house cleaned.
I agree with you. As the firstborn and the son, he is traditionally responsible for caring for our parents. But he won't do anything because he's mad that my Dad yelled at him for getting the family involved in his heart attack. So he's over it. I would do it, but half the family is against me in this.


Quote from: james03 on November 13, 2023, 12:05:27 PMThe 15 dogs is even worse.  Sounds like the woman has fur babies.  That sounds nasty.
I don't think it's even that. They don't mourn them when one of them dies, they just get another one.

Quote from: james03 on November 13, 2023, 12:05:27 PMThe fur mama's threats are why she is allowed to get away with this bs.
You're probably right, but it does complicate things.
My Lord and my God.

james03

This is your brother's responsibility.  Do what you can, but don't beat yourself up if it goes down bad.  Your Dad is also an adult, and he is ultimately responsible as it is his house and he's the man.
"But he that doth not believe, is already judged: because he believeth not in the name of the only begotten Son of God (Jn 3:18)."

"All sorrow leads to the foot of the Cross.  Weep for your sins."

"Although He should kill me, I will trust in Him"

Geremia


drummerboy

Quote from: Geremia on November 13, 2023, 06:23:47 PM
Quote from: drummerboy on November 12, 2023, 10:11:12 PMThat's the most painful thing to do to a hoarder.
Tough love, then.

Hoarding like in this case is practically a mental/emotional issue that needs treatment to resolve.  Or better yet-a priest, but as she is saying they don't want that.  In theory intervention by the social worker should lead to some sort of therapy.
"My hope is the Father, my refuge is the Son, my protection is the Holy Spirit.  Holy Trinity, glory to You." 
"All my hope I place in you, O Mother of God; keep me under your protection."

Hannelore

Quote from: drummerboy on November 14, 2023, 08:23:06 AMHoarding like in this case is practically a mental/emotional issue that needs treatment to resolve.  Or better yet-a priest, but as she is saying they don't want that.  In theory intervention by the social worker should lead to some sort of therapy.
Precisely.
My Lord and my God.

Geremia

Quote from: drummerboy on November 14, 2023, 08:23:06 AMintervention by the social worker should lead to some sort of therapy
Social workers are communist agents.
Far better to seek a priest.

Hannelore

Are priests trained to deal with psychological issues?
My Lord and my God.

Geremia

Quote from: Bernadette on November 14, 2023, 06:56:45 PMAre priests trained to deal with psychological issues?
Priests/confessors can tell when a penitent needs psychological help.
Exorcists can tell if it's a psychological or demonic issue.