Daughter in same sex relationship

Started by Aodhan, March 24, 2019, 07:54:49 PM

Previous topic - Next topic


My darling daughter 26.who is the centre of my world, has revealed that she is in such a relationship. Her mom and I are estranged. How should I best handle this? I love her dearly but cannot support this relationship


Please be assured of my prayers. First and foremost, live a devout life. Is there a priest you can confide in for this guidance?
Schaff Recht mir Gott und führe meine Sache gegen ein unheiliges Volk . . .   .                          
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Die Welt sucht nach Ehre, Ansehen, Reichtum, Vergnügen; die Heiligen aber suchen Demütigung, Verachtung, Armut, Abtötung und Buße." --Ausschnitt von der Geschichte des Lebens St. Bennos.


 :pray1: :pray2: :pray3:

There are no clear solutions to this problem.  But I do have a few thoughts.

Women need to know that they are absolutely loved.  Teenage girls should be frequently shown that they are loved by their fathers - this gives them comfort in knowing that they are loved by a man and thus hopefully are less tempted to go find love in all the wrong places at that age.  Also this helps set guidance for what type of a spouse they should look for in the future - a man like her father.

Now in this specific situation your daughter has passed this age and presumably does not live in your house, so I am not sure how helpful or possible this can be for your family.  Perhaps you could call her on a regular schedule, like every other day, or certain days of the week, and just chat with her - let her talk your ear off (your job is to listen, not lecture, just let her unload on you).  If she is nearby then personal visits, dinners, tea times, whatever are even better - basically regularly scheduled dates with dad.  Let her know that there is a strong man that has deep love for her and that she can confide in, and perhaps then she will not seek it in the wrong places.  In doing this you probably want to be extremely open so that she feels as comfortable with you as possible, yet at the same time she needs to know you absolutely disapprove of this situation.  How this balance is struck is a challenge.

I am reminded of a recent interview between Milo and Voris which I will link below.  Somewhere in that interview Milo discusses his theory on lesbianism.  In general, he thinks it is a a definite choice, that these women are choosing other women as a backlash against men.  They are doing it as a protest against society or what have you.  Do you suspect that your daughter, in college perhaps, fell into feminism, leftism, or any other such thing?  If so, that is likely a major factor at play.

If so, she needs help in being pulled out of the dark world she has fallen into.  Perhaps she is desperate for beauty.  She might benefit from being shown the beautiful things of life by her father - the beautiful Latin Mass, beautiful churches & architecture, beautiful nature, beautiful traditional dresses, things that subtly show to her that the modern age is ugly as sin, and that she has the option to return to beauty.

Also many people are trapped in the false dichotomy of left-right think.  There is at least one other option, which is Catholicism.  It is neither left nor right.  It is beauty, peace, love.  The left-right trap is a world of ugliness, hatred and restlessness.  People stuck in it break out in all forms of sinful ways as a result.

What I think will absolutely not work is any sort of rational discussion with her.  I do not think this works with almost anyone, male or female.  This is likely 99% about emotions and so she needs to be won over with emotions.  Hence why I suggest having daddy flood her with love, show her emotionally moving beautiful things (like Gregorian chant at Mass, European architecture, old master paintings, whatever.  And after she's been won over by this emotion it can be subtly noted from time to time that these beautiful churches and these beautiful European cities were built by faithful Catholics whom put love of Christ at first, and from this overflowed such beauty, whereas modern society puts man first and creates horrifically ugly things).

I think you are in for the very long haul, and it will be like daggers piercing your heart time after time.  Keep Christ at the forefront of your thoughts, and from that your desire to have your daughter be with Him, and that might help you say and do the right things rather than flub it up and say something hurtful in an exasperated moment.

You all will be in our continued prayers.

Edit:  By happy coincidence, otherwise known as the workings of angels, a video by Patrick Coffin interviewing Dr. Carrie Gress about feminism and how to cure it popped up in my Youtube recommended list.  I have not had time to watch it, but maybe it will be helpful for you.


every morning and evening say 3 Hail Marys for your daughters holiness and purity.  Consecrate her weekly to the Blessed Virgin, and beg her to care for her as only she can, and make up for the failings of your human parenting. 

As her father, you have the authority over her to pray these prayers. 

Make sure she knows you love HER no matter what, but never can condone this sin of hers. 
Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat.


Definitely pray.

For women, it tends to be a phase. So while definitely mortally serious, there's a good chance she'll snap out of it.
The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
    It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
    It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
    And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
    And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
    There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
    Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs —
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
    World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.


I am so sorry that your precious daughter has been entrapped by the insidious "queer" community, I can truly empathise as something similar happened in my family which has driven an insurmountable wedge within the extended family.  My thoughts and prayers are with you


Always demonstrate the charity you have for her as her father. I will keep you in prayer.
"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."