Author Topic: Make the kid do it!  (Read 1204 times)

Offline Gardener

  • Drink the poison yourself.
  • St. Joseph's Workbench
  • Hauptmann
  • ****
  • Posts: 7408
  • Thanked: 4448 times
  • Religion: Catholic
Make the kid do it!
« on: December 03, 2017, 11:54:30 PM »
Yesterday (Saturday), I had the privilege of assisting a guy from work with moving his family and their possessions to a new location.

He had one of his acquaintances assist by providing a moving truck and help. Help = his acquaintance and acq's kid (age 14).

Keep in mind, these folks are not Catholic. I spend more time trying to recite the Divine Praises in my head while at work, due to this dude's constant blasphemy than I do working sometimes. But I digress... cus what I saw was AWESOME and in a totally manly way, BEAUTIFUL.

So acq. pulls up w/ truck and dude from work says, "how do you want to do this? Furniture first? Boxes first?"

Acq: "That's up to Isaiah. I've told him he's the boss on this and makes all decisions so he can learn to run a job."

Interest status: piqued.

So now this 14 year old kid is in charge of me (SGT retired, combat vet), dude from work (SGT retired, combat vet), and his dad (no mil, but years working in trades). And you bet your lily white keester we did not rob him of this opportunity to learn to be a man. No back talk (he was the boss, after all), no second guessing, no doing what we knew was better. He was in charge. He messed something up, he had to fix it.

So for like 6 hours, I took orders from a 14 year old. It was great. Every once in a while he was trying to make a decision which would have set back the moving project and dad overruled him and explained why. But in general? Isaiah was the El Jefe.

So, question: When is the last time you all let your 12, 13, 14, heck, 18 year olds run a project at home?

I thought it was great training for the kid. We used to do this in the Army after training objectives were met. Take a private and make him a leader. It has a few effects:

1) They realize leadership and leading subordinates is not necessarily as easy as subordinates complaining about leaders
2) They need to do what they are told when not leaders

"And what use are the victories on the battlefield if we are ourselves are defeated in our innermost personal selves?" - St. Maximilian Kolbe
 

Offline Lynne

  • happy to be Catholic!
  • Mary Garden
  • Hauptmann
  • ****
  • Posts: 8813
  • Thanked: 3522 times
  • We're all special snowflakes
  • Religion: Catholic (SSPX)
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2017, 04:56:34 AM »
Great idea!
In conclusion, I can leave you with no better advice than that given after every sermon by Msgr Vincent Giammarino, who was pastor of St Michael’s Church in Atlantic City in the 1950s:

    “My dear good people: Do what you have to do, When you’re supposed to do it, The best way you can do it,   For the Love of God. Amen.”
 

Offline Kaesekopf

  • Enkindle in us the virtues of humility and patience So we too may obediently do your will faithfully.
  • Oberst
  • Major
  • *****
  • Posts: 20421
  • Thanked: 5972 times
    • Suscipe Domine
  • Religion: Catholic
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2017, 06:45:38 AM »
This is a great idea. 

Sent from my STV100-1 using Tapatalk

Wie dein Sonntag, so dein Sterbetag.

I am not altogether on anybody's side, because nobody is altogether on my side.  ~Treebeard, LOTR

Jesus son of David, have mercy on me.
 

Offline Quaremerepulisti

  • Feldwebel
  • ***
  • Posts: 3586
  • Thanked: 1175 times
  • Religion: Catholic (Byzantine)
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2017, 10:52:30 AM »
This is excellent and kudos to your coworker.

It really gets me when parents treat teenagers like children, never entrusting them with any responsibility whatsoever but micromanaging their entire lives, but then these same teenagers are magically expected to be able to handle adult responsibility on their 18th birthday.  It doesn't work like that.  Like any other skill, handling responsibility is something which needs to be learned.
 
The following users thanked this post: OCLittleFlower, Carleendiane

Offline Carleendiane

  • Mary Garden
  • Major
  • ****
  • Posts: 11546
  • Thanked: 8010 times
  • all aboard the "struggle bus"
  • Religion: Traditional Catholic
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2017, 12:37:30 PM »
True, it can  be learned by teen if we yield control of things and let them exercise their own thinking skills, whether done correctly or wrong, he has learned a lesson. Plus, having been given the responsibility, a teen will grow in confidence for future decision making. Never allowing them to perform, means they will have no skills, thinking or doing. That a terrible neglect on parents part.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2017, 01:43:46 PM by Carleendiane »
To board the struggle bus: no whining, board with a smile, a fake one will be found out and put off at next stop, no maps, no directions, going only one way, one destination. Follow all rules and you will arrive. Drop off at pearly gate. Bring nothing.
 
The following users thanked this post: Lynne, MundaCorMeum

Offline Akavit

  • Feldwebel
  • ***
  • Posts: 1512
  • Thanked: 936 times
    • Traditional Catholic Furniture and Woodwork
  • Religion: Catholic
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2017, 02:22:39 AM »
Something similar comes up in lean manufacturing methodology.  It's important to give some free reign to subordinates and allow them to make mistakes.  Initially, this can cost time and money but in the long run a company ends up with more productive employees that have more initiative and problem-solving skills.
 
The following users thanked this post: Lynne

Offline Greg

  • St. Joseph's Workbench
  • Major
  • ****
  • Posts: 12121
  • Thanked: 6705 times
  • Some sacrifices are WELL worth making.
  • Religion: Kung Fu
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2017, 02:56:24 AM »
When I am driving on the French motorways, which don't have front facing speed cameras and have large open sections where no car passes you for minutes at a time, (France is empty unlike overcrowded Britain) I sometimes put one of the children on my lap and let them steer the car at 80mph.  They have to be 5 before I let them do this.

They love it.  They're Russian.

So, I certainly approve.
Retired to Rivendell.
 
The following users thanked this post: Vetus Ordo, queen.saints

Offline Heinrich

  • Der hat einen Rosenkranz und steht jetzt als Arbeiter bei
  • St. Joseph's Workbench
  • Hauptmann
  • ****
  • Posts: 6452
  • Thanked: 1801 times
  • "Hebst du doch, Geck?" Schlank und eisig.
  • Religion: Catholic
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2017, 06:16:01 PM »
When I am driving on the French motorways, which don't have front facing speed cameras and have large open sections where no car passes you for minutes at a time, (France is empty unlike overcrowded Britain) I sometimes put one of the children on my lap and let them steer the car at 80mph.  They have to be 5 before I let them do this.

They love it.  They're Russian.

So, I certainly approve.

Try that on the Autobahn.
Pray for the Consecration.                           
Lex Orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi.
"Bear in mind that the more the enemy assaults you, God is closer to your soul." --St. Padre Pio
 

Offline Greg

  • St. Joseph's Workbench
  • Major
  • ****
  • Posts: 12121
  • Thanked: 6705 times
  • Some sacrifices are WELL worth making.
  • Religion: Kung Fu
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2017, 05:50:00 AM »
Do they have cameras?  Haven't been on them in years.  Always travel through Europe via France.

                                                         Like Hitler did.
Retired to Rivendell.
 
The following users thanked this post: queen.saints

Offline Perpetua

  • Mary Garden
  • Korporal
  • **
  • Posts: 303
  • Thanked: 184 times
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2017, 01:49:40 PM »
That is great!
« Last Edit: December 19, 2017, 03:27:31 PM by Perpetua »
 
The following users thanked this post: maryslittlegarden, Carleendiane

Offline The Curt Jester

  • Water-drinker at the Coffee Social
  • St. Joseph's Workbench
  • Wachtmeister
  • ***
  • Posts: 888
  • Thanked: 228 times
  • Religion: Neo-Pelagian Angry Traditionalist with Narcissistic Tendencies
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2017, 04:36:58 PM »
I have my son starting early.  He's almost two and he has some big responsibilities:

1.  He puts away my water bottle when I get home from work and then "helps" me hang up my coat and scarf.   He used to put my keys away until he started hitting the panic button.

2.  He throws away his own garbage.

3.  When we take a drive, he gathers the baby's blankets and hat and brings them to the car seat.   He gets his own shoes, socks, hat, and coat and brings them to us.

4.  After grocery shopping, he puts away the pasta, potatoes, and a few items for the fridge.   We re-arrange later.

5.  He brings me my shoes in the morning (if he's not eating breakfast)

6.  He puts away his own toys.

7.  When I sit down to read, he often gets a book for me (one of mine, not his).   I thank him even though it's one I've already read.

Oh, and most of it has been on his own initiative with a little encouragement from us.


I think that's a pretty good start.  I'll work on having him balance the checkbook next year.

The royal feast was done; the King
Sought some new sport to banish care,
And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool,
Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!"

The jester doffed his cap and bells,
And stood the mocking court before;
They could not see the bitter smile
Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee
Upon the Monarch's silken stool;
His pleading voice arose: "O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!"
 
The following users thanked this post: OCLittleFlower, Lynne, Carleendiane

Offline Carleendiane

  • Mary Garden
  • Major
  • ****
  • Posts: 11546
  • Thanked: 8010 times
  • all aboard the "struggle bus"
  • Religion: Traditional Catholic
Re: Make the kid do it!
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2017, 05:15:30 PM »
Curt, you operate like I did. I would let each child assume responsibilities without my request. If they felt up to it, by golly, I let them do it, even,if I had to follow behind and fix as they went along their way. If they said, I can put the dishes away, I did not argue, but let them.sometimes they would find the job too big, but most times....they would succeed!
To board the struggle bus: no whining, board with a smile, a fake one will be found out and put off at next stop, no maps, no directions, going only one way, one destination. Follow all rules and you will arrive. Drop off at pearly gate. Bring nothing.