Live-in nannies?

Started by Geremia, February 02, 2022, 06:22:25 PM

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bedtimeprayers

Quote from: coffeeandcigarette on February 03, 2022, 11:30:33 PM
There is a lot of tunnel vision in past religious works directed at upper class Catholics. I guess the assumption is that if you could afford the book, you had servants. I guess it makes sense. It gets a little tiresome living these days, when almost no one can afford even an American live-in nanny. I was an aupair in Europe when I was young. I got paid 50 euro a week. The language, culture, travel, experience, etc were supposed to be most of the pay. Girls in America want about 500 a week to be a live-in mother's helper. I know almost no one who could afford that.
Do you pay the Nannie's food as well?
I'm not sure what would be an appropriate pay for someone having their living expenses paid. However, I live with my parents and pay no living expenses while in college, and I would never have accepted a job bellow $14 per hour which was my last jobs pay. I don't exactly see the point of doing a job for only 500 a week if it's 7 days a week, id be getting paid $8.90 an hour.
Behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy Word.

Geremia

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 12:43:51 PM500 a week if it's 7 days a week, id be getting paid $8.90 an hour.
That's if you're working 8 hours / day for a week. It's $2.98/hour if you're working 24/7, which is what permanent live-ins would work.

bedtimeprayers

Quote from: Geremia on February 19, 2022, 04:53:07 PM
Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 12:43:51 PM500 a week if it's 7 days a week, id be getting paid $8.90 an hour.
That's if you're working 8 hours / day for a week. It's $2.98/hour if you're working 24/7, which is what permanent live-ins would work.
Yes well, I was counting it at 8 hours because I don't think the job of a nanny while the mom is home is as hard as 8 hour jobs. I also tried to make it more reasonable...
Idk, I just thought maybe they could hear the perspective from the other side.As an unmarried young woman in college, I wouldn't consider a nanny job if it paid me less than McDonald's. I just don't see the point
Behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy Word.

Maximilian

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 06:07:01 PM
I just thought maybe they could hear the perspective from the other side. As an unmarried young woman in college, I wouldn't consider a nanny job if it paid me less than McDonald's. I just don't see the point

The other side is based on 2 things:

1. The charity in your soul.
2. What you intend to do with your life.

#1. I know of a young woman who went to France to be a nanny for a family of 5 children whose mother had passed away. So the job was definitely 24/7, and the pay was minimal. If she was calculating pragmatically, it would have been a bad financial decision. But that family needed her help, and she was able to be of great assistance to those souls.

#2. If a traditional Catholic girl intends to be a wife and mother, then she needs to get accustomed to doing this job and not some other profession. First there is the reality of working 24/7 without any guarantee of regular pay. Secondly there are all the realities of cooking, cleaning and -- primarily -- the raising of children. Young women who have been working other jobs find to their dismay when they get married that they are unable to carry out the obligations of their position.

Also, as the saying goes, "the life you save may be your own." God repays charity in ways that one can never imagine or predict ahead of time. The rewards one receives for selfless actions far exceed anything that could be received for calculating decisions. Spiritual rewards, yes of course, but also rewards in the natural world.

bedtimeprayers

Quote from: Maximilian on February 19, 2022, 07:35:26 PM
Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 06:07:01 PM
I just thought maybe they could hear the perspective from the other side. As an unmarried young woman in college, I wouldn't consider a nanny job if it paid me less than McDonald's. I just don't see the point

The other side is based on 2 things:

1. The charity in your soul.
2. What you intend to do with your life.

#1. I know of a young woman who went to France to be a nanny for a family of 5 children whose mother had passed away. So the job was definitely 24/7, and the pay was minimal. If she was calculating pragmatically, it would have been a bad financial decision. But that family needed her help, and she was able to be of great assistance to those souls.

#2. If a traditional Catholic girl intends to be a wife and mother, then she needs to get accustomed to doing this job and not some other profession. First there is the reality of working 24/7 without any guarantee of regular pay. Secondly there are all the realities of cooking, cleaning and -- primarily -- the raising of children. Young women who have been working other jobs find to their dismay when they get married that they are unable to carry out the obligations of their position.

Also, as the saying goes, "the life you save may be your own." God repays charity in ways that one can never imagine or predict ahead of time. The rewards one receives for selfless actions far exceed anything that could be received for calculating decisions. Spiritual rewards, yes of course, but also rewards in the natural world.

Responding to #2. While I DO wish I could be a stay at home mother, I am not currently married. I'm going to university because I don't have a husband to support me right now, and I'm not 100% sure I will ever even get married. So I will make sure I can at least provide for myself.
Also, I really doubt I will ever ever like working a job more than caring for my home and children. I want nothing more than to do that. In fact, I feel I would be very sad if I never did get married and had kids.
While I don't claim to be selfLESS, I do not think it selfish either to desire to be paid fair wages. After all, all the work I'm doing is in hopes one day of having a family. I don't want to have ridiculous college debt that impacts my childrens future.
Behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy Word.

Maximilian

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
While I DO wish I could be a stay at home mother, I am not currently married. I'm going to university because I don't have a husband to support me right now, and I'm not 100% sure I will ever even get married. So I will make sure I can at least provide for myself.

It happens so often that Plan B ends up destroying the chances for Plan A.

It's just like someone who wants to be a writer, but they decide, "First I will make a lot of money at a job, and then I will become a writer when I have a comfortable cushion to fall back on." That plan never works. If you want to be a writer, you have to write. Once you start another career, as a banker for example, then you become a different person, and it's usually impossible to go back.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
Also, I really doubt I will ever ever like working a job more than caring for my home and children. I want nothing more than to do that. In fact, I feel I would be very sad if I never did get married and had kids.

It's not just a question of desires, but also a question of abilities. A woman who wants to be married and have children needs to spend her whole life preparing for that awesome responsibility.

It's as if one's life depended on being a figure skater like we see in the Olympics. I can't spend my whole life doing something else, and then one day just start doing quadruple loops. One can't spend their life unable to carry a tune, and then suddenly when they are an adult become a pianist or a violinist. Being proficient at such an art requires dedication from a young age.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
While I don't claim to be selfLESS, I do not think it selfish either to desire to be paid fair wages.

The attitude of young women towards money should be to treat it as meaningless. Her focus needs to be on matters of the heart. Success in life is all about the state one's heart. Just like muscles don't develop overnight to allow one to lift heavy weights, the affections of the heart do not grow overnight either.

In any case, a woman's financial position in life is determined by her husband. Worrying about money is a distraction from the important things of life and is not going to amount to anything in the long run.

I know a lovely traditional Catholic young woman who had an executive position with a Fortune-500 company but still was in debt when she got married. Single women with money only develop habits of spending.

Meanwhile, the young woman who was a nanny in France often went months without money touching her hands. But 3 different established traditional Catholic men with property proposed to her.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
I don't want to have ridiculous college debt that impacts my childrens future.

Yes, this is very good thinking.

bedtimeprayers

Quote from: Maximilian on February 19, 2022, 10:10:47 PM
Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
While I DO wish I could be a stay at home mother, I am not currently married. I'm going to university because I don't have a husband to support me right now, and I'm not 100% sure I will ever even get married. So I will make sure I can at least provide for myself.

It happens so often that Plan B ends up destroying the chances for Plan A.

It's just like someone who wants to be a writer, but they decide, "First I will make a lot of money at a job, and then I will become a writer when I have a comfortable cushion to fall back on." That plan never works. If you want to be a writer, you have to write. Once you start another career, as a banker for example, then you become a different person, and it's usually impossible to go back.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
Also, I really doubt I will ever ever like working a job more than caring for my home and children. I want nothing more than to do that. In fact, I feel I would be very sad if I never did get married and had kids.

It's not just a question of desires, but also a question of abilities. A woman who wants to be married and have children needs to spend her whole life preparing for that awesome responsibility.

It's as if one's life depended on being a figure skater like we see in the Olympics. I can't spend my whole life doing something else, and then one day just start doing quadruple loops. One can't spend their life unable to carry a tune, and then suddenly when they are an adult become a pianist or a violinist. Being proficient at such an art requires dedication from a young age.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
While I don't claim to be selfLESS, I do not think it selfish either to desire to be paid fair wages.

The attitude of young women towards money should be to treat it as meaningless. Her focus needs to be on matters of the heart. Success in life is all about the state one's heart. Just like muscles don't develop overnight to allow one to lift heavy weights, the affections of the heart do not grow overnight either.

In any case, a woman's financial position in life is determined by her husband. Worrying about money is a distraction from the important things of life and is not going to amount to anything in the long run.

I know a lovely traditional Catholic young woman who had an executive position with a Fortune-500 company but still was in debt when she got married. Single women with money only develop habits of spending.

Meanwhile, the young woman who was a nanny in France often went months without money touching her hands. But 3 different established traditional Catholic men with property proposed to her.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
I don't want to have ridiculous college debt that impacts my childrens future.

Yes, this is very good thinking.
I appreciate your advice. However, it seems to me like finding a husband is rather different from finding a job and then becoming a writer. There's many women out there waiting for their catholic husband and it just hasn't happened...
I understand what you're saying, but unless I get an arranged marriage, right now, I NEED to get a job or go to university. I live with my parents and they will not let me stay with them while doing nothing, or getting paid $2 an hour waiting for my husband to rescue me from the nanny job.I don't see how living in the modern world I can do anything but go to school or work.
Not to mention, it is not bad for a woman to get an education. I would rather send my kids to catholic school, however, if I ever do homeschool, how am I supposed to do that if I only have a highschool education? It's not very efficient at all...
I would actually love to just get married right now and drop it all. But I don't get how I would go about doing with without a someone to marry me?
I guess I am having trouble seeing how I can apply your advice to my life in a realistic way. Although I do appreciate it.
And about the girl going to France. Surely she is a much better Christian than I. But she must also be in a different circumstance. My parents would freak out if I left the country. They are very close to me and want me near them.
Behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy Word.

diaduit

You could do nanny positions during summer months.  While pay seems very little, you would be getting room and board along with that plus utilities so when all is added up, your pay would be good.

queen.saints

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 06:07:01 PM
I wouldn't consider a nanny job if it paid me less than McDonald's. I just don't see the point.

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 08:46:55 PM
While I don't claim to be selfLESS, I do not think it selfish either to desire to be paid fair wages. After all, all the work I'm doing is in hopes one day of having a family. I don't want to have ridiculous college debt that impacts my childrens future.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. The question all single people need to ask themselves is, "Am I living selfishly?" (And I don't mean that as a hidden criticism of you in any way, especially as you are unselfishly minding your parents)

We were taught growing up that in discerning a vocation to remember that of the the three choices,

A) the religious and married life by their nature force you not to be completely selfish.

B) a single person can also live unselfishly, but they have to go out of their way to do so. If they do live unselfishly "bringing the homeless blankets and dinner" etc they are living a beautiful and worthwhile life that is superior to the married state.

C) the single life lived selfishly is the worst life of all.


A job helping out a family for bad pay, little appreciation, and long hours is the perfect one for a single person who wants to live an unselfish life.
I am sorry for the times I have publicly criticized others on this forum, especially traditional Catholic religious, and any other scandalous posts and pray that no one reads or believes these false and ignorant statements.

The Curt Jester

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 11:21:43 PM
...if I ever do homeschool, how am I supposed to do that if I only have a highschool education? It's not very efficient at all...

My mother did not have a college degree and homeschooled three kids all the way through high school.  A high school education should be plenty to assist any kids through grade 8 and from there, it might depend on the person, what kind of high school education the person had, or how much the person has learned on her own along the way.  It also depends on the kids.  In our case, we were able to help ourselves for a lot of things.
The royal feast was done; the King
Sought some new sport to banish care,
And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool,
Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!"

The jester doffed his cap and bells,
And stood the mocking court before;
They could not see the bitter smile
Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee
Upon the Monarch's silken stool;
His pleading voice arose: "O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!"

bedtimeprayers

Quote from: The Curt Jester on February 20, 2022, 01:49:32 PM
Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 19, 2022, 11:21:43 PM
...if I ever do homeschool, how am I supposed to do that if I only have a highschool education? It's not very efficient at all...

My mother did not have a college degree and homeschooled three kids all the way through high school.  A high school education should be plenty to assist any kids through grade 8 and from there, it might depend on the person, what kind of high school education the person had, or how much the person has learned on her own along the way.  It also depends on the kids.  In our case, we were able to help ourselves for a lot of things.
Your mother must be smarter than me.
Even now, I don't trust myself to teach algebra to highschool at all. Did she teach you, or you mean you did online school with her assistance ?
Behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy Word.

The Curt Jester

Quote from: bedtimeprayers on February 20, 2022, 05:33:55 PM
Your mother must be smarter than me.
Even now, I don't trust myself to teach algebra to highschool at all. Did she teach you, or you mean you did online school with her assistance ?

Online school was not an option back then.  She was capable of teaching algebra, although by that time we mostly just read the book and taught ourselves.
The royal feast was done; the King
Sought some new sport to banish care,
And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool,
Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!"

The jester doffed his cap and bells,
And stood the mocking court before;
They could not see the bitter smile
Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee
Upon the Monarch's silken stool;
His pleading voice arose: "O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!"

coffeeandcigarette

Hey Bedtime,

Are you calculating the room, board, all expenses paid, utility bills, gas, etc into your per hr? I think you, like most people, are forgetting that the term "live-in" means your pay is given in cash, and all living expenses. Even if you got paid around 12.50 an hour, once you pay for all those things yourself, the amount you put in savings would be about the same.